Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that DD should have been invited?

213 replies

musicposy · 17/10/2008 10:03

Ok, on one hand this is trivial. But DD is hurt, and I am a bit, too.

My best friend has a little girl just a bit younger than my DD2. We look after her every day and take her to and collect her from school. She's my goddaughter. She and DD2 are thick as thieves, play with each other the whole time she is here (about 3 hours a day) and rarely fall out. DD would count her among her closest friends.

She's just having her 7th birthday party this week....but DD has not been invited. I could understand this if she had only had, say 4 people, as DD is not at school in her class with her, but she's invited loads of children, one of whom only joined her class about 2 weeks ago. Every time she is here she keeps on and on talking about it, how much fun it will be, she's having a pony there all day (plus loads of other stuff- money is no object for them, unlike us), and DD is getting a bit upset.

DD didn't have a birthday party this year, and I'm wondering if that's behind it. I'm tempted to phone mum and at least ask her to stop the child constantly talking about it while she is here. Would you? Or is it just not worth worrying about?

I fell better at posting, anyway.

OP posts:
Lovesdogsandcats · 19/10/2008 22:35

doublebluff totally agree...user AND bitch.

hunkermunker · 19/10/2008 22:43

Did your friend know your DD hadn't had a birthday party?

nappyaddict · 19/10/2008 22:57

i reckon she waited til the very last minute hoping either a) you would be out and wouldn't answer the phone or b) she was hoping you'd have made other plans.

filz · 20/10/2008 08:33

did you go?

A couple of my friends children have had parties abnd not invited my children byt tbh they are usually upfront 'we are not inviting x because z decided on just a few' and thats fine really isnt it?

I do think though if it was a huge party and the way she reacted showed she did not want your dd there. If it was me and I was providing free childcare for someone 4 nights a week, I would most probably re-evaluate why I was doing it

DoubleBluff · 20/10/2008 09:59

mp - i would drop this 'friend' asap.
She is using you.

hifi · 20/10/2008 13:14

she obviously REALLY didnt want you to go, hope you didnt.

cantpickyourfamily · 20/10/2008 15:59

musicposy - how did the party go? and did you feel ok being there?

Also just wanted to know if your bf does help you out with childcare? or if she pays you for childcare?

Just wondering as your relationship may not be as one sided as we all think it is? I think we are all just out raged on your dd's behalf as well as yours.

Did dd have a nice time?

tigermoth · 20/10/2008 17:11

Musicposy, I am wondering if you like your friend's dd so much that you don't want to end the childcare arrangement?

Reading your op, it sounds like it works really well, and your dd gets lots of enjoyment out of having this girl to play with each afternoon.

Although from the outside it looks like a bad arrangment for you, I can see that actually, it may be something you value and don't want to give up.

Much as I am indignant on your behalf, it's for you to decide if you want this girl in your home each day.

Twiglett · 20/10/2008 18:58

I would like an update on the party now please

hunkermunker · 20/10/2008 18:59

Me tooooooooooooooooooooo!

DoubleBluff · 20/10/2008 19:17

Grrr, news please.
This thread has been playing on my mind. ma so cross on behalf of OP

islandofsodor · 20/10/2008 19:30

I've only read about half of the thread and skimmed the rest but I have been to parties where it has been all classmates except one child (usually a cousin or friend from elsewhere).

It has been awful for that one child who didn;t know anyone else. I personally, if I was having a school class only party for my dd or ds would never, ever invite a sole child from elsewhere.

AnneOfAvonlea · 20/10/2008 19:42

Agree island of sodor, but if that 1 family friend child being left out was very class you'd explain to them in advance and probably have a special tea or something. You wouldnt just pretend they didnt exisit if they were that close.

clam · 20/10/2008 19:47

But why insist on having a party only for classmates? Why should there be this arbitrary division? I think it's very important to keep alternative avenues of choice available for kids, as sometimes they can need time-out from school and want to mix elsewhere.

AnneOfAvonlea · 20/10/2008 20:06

I meant very close

sinkingfast · 20/10/2008 20:41

Gosh, have just read thread from start to finish . Poor DD. Please come back and tell us how it went musicpony.

sinkingfast · 21/10/2008 10:24

.

pingping · 21/10/2008 10:26

If she is your bestfriend then just talk to her.

I am sure that your friend is just assuming that your be there being her Godmother and the amount of time you spend with her its like family.

pingping · 21/10/2008 10:28

Sorry didnt read all of the thread

YANBU your friend is a bit strange

BabiesEverywhere · 21/10/2008 10:57

How was the party ?

QueenofAllWildThings · 21/10/2008 16:27

Oh come on - update please!

JulesJules · 21/10/2008 19:21

WHAT HAPPENED??

nowwearefour · 21/10/2008 19:23

yes this is cruel not telling us!!!! . seriously lots of people concerned for you and interested to know how it went

Twiglett · 21/10/2008 19:49

she's obviously not a regular

UPDATE PLEASE....

blossomsmine · 21/10/2008 20:36

Well???? I NEED to know what happened???? Come on now...........let us know????