To leave my DD aged 10mths screaming....

[bonnibaby]

in her cot whilst me and DP eat our evening meal when it gets to 9pm ,i have been at her beck and call all day and just want 10 minutes to eat?!
Please tell me im not?-shes fed,clean,dry,been looked after and stimulated all day,its not asking too much is it?

true mabana but I still think op ibu

eat in shifts

YANBU. Everyone has different parenting techniques. Occasionally my children have cried themselves to sleep and are delightful, untraumatised, happy, contented children.

Seems you have enough on your plate than to be made to feel guilty about your child having cried in her bed for 5 mins.

I agree with murderousmarla

The OP posted that she was leaving her 10 month old baby screaming because she had been at her beck and call. ^That's why everyone has got so YABU.

Of course you are at her beck and call and you knew when you had her just how hard it can be sometimes as she is your second child. She is ten months old ffs, she can't do things herself! And screaming? Well, screaming isn't good for her, she could give herself a fit if she got too worked up and too hot.

What a nasty piece of work you are Victoriansqualor, you are always so criticle of other peoples parenting.
First of my children have had numerous fits through temperatures, and getting worked up doesn't cause them.

Secondly if you read the thread properly you will have seen the OP dd fell asleep within 5 minutes, so being left was probably exactly what she needed.

They can have fits through getting worked up, yes.
DD suffered from febrile fits when she was younger, the DOCTOR asked me if she had been crying because sometimes they get really worked up and their body temperature gets too high.

Also, I did read the thread, just because the baby cried herself to sleep doesn't mean it's what she needed. She sounds over-tired and probably needs more sleep during the day.

My god you actually listened to a doctor, your always telling everyone else to ignore theirhealth professionals.

I can assure you that getting in state does not cause febrile convulsions. It is a very rapid rise in temperature that causes them, getting into a state won't cause the temperature to rise that fast.
I am talking from someone who comes from a family with generations of children that have febrile convulsions up until they are 10 years plus+ which is very rare

pamelat it depends what times she gets up...total sleep in a 24 hours is what counts not what time she goes to bed. if she gets up at 9am shes getting 12 hours sleep at night - and needs a few naps in the day. it may be that going to bed at 9 suits them as a family.

sorry but this whole GF 7-7 thing does my nut in - babies don't do this in the med/africa etc.

OP i do think you are BU but can sympathise, i think as one off if she wasn't in pain, teething etc then prob no harm done, but not a habit to get into

Christywisty

Yes christy, I tell people that HVs rarely know anything about weaning. Bit different to a paed not knowing about febrile convulsions. You do realise screaming can raise the body temperature quite fast don't you?

For the millionth time, if you post in AIBU, you shouldn't expect everyone to go "goodness no".

I completely agree with VS

The op said screaming not whinging

that is unaccerptable

we are not talking about a toddler/older child (no less acceptable imo but...) but a baby

Babies cry for a reason, whatever that may be - to ignore them is cruel and just plain wrong!

I don't care if you are hungry, or want 10 mins peace..... what you need is not the priority!

Oh Please get over yourselves. The OP had 10 mins out, she was feeling a bit fed up when posted and maybe used slightly unsympathetic language.
It is fine to disagree but it is the waggly finger that accompanies alot of the posts that I find offensive. VS my doctor would very much disagree with your diagnosis.

As I may have implied, I was a complete softie when real crying was concerned. Have cuddled dd to sleep many a night. (in fact, still do it on occasion)

BUT am a little at the implications of VictorianSqualor's posts of the dangers of children crying themselves into febrile convulsions. Does that mean I should never have let dd have a tantrum? She got herself worked up whenever things didn't go her way, pretty well every day, between the ages of 10 months and 3 1/2 years. I couldn't stop her, short of letting her do absolutely what she wanted.

Do you mean that I was putting her life at risk by not buying her all the sweeties she wanted, not letting her break Grandma's china dogs, not letting her bite the other babies at toddler group, not letting her swim in the sea at Christmas?

Or is there some special medical reason that a child getting worked up about something that is not good for them does not entail the risk of febrile convulsions?

Because the implication that crying is dangerous and must be stopped at all costs, does carry some other, equally dangerous, implications.

Screaming, she said, not crying nor having a tantrum, screaming.

As for my 'diagnosis' it wasn't my diagnosis, when I took Dd to the hospital they could find no apparent reason for her fit, no illness, no temperature. I was asked on more than one occasion if there was any reason she could have had a high body temperature due to being worked up, it was a moot point anyway, because she hadn't, there was no apparent spike in temperature. But, yes, it can be dangerous to leave your child to scream.

Crying is not the same as screaming.

In my experience, tantrums are accompanied by huge amounts of screaming and in your words VS "getting worked up".

Many people use the word "screaming" for "crying". I think you are interpreting a subtlety of language and are making an assumption this child was screaming to the point of vomitting (or fitting) and judging accordingly.

Just had enough of VS sanctimonious postings, and horrible postings to people who don't agree with her.
Paediatricians don't always know about CF even. I have been told that it is unheard of for CF after 5 yet I have a 3 generations that we know of that have had CF at 10 and even 14, most gp's and many paediatricians will not have come across it.
A fit that does not have a cause ie a temperature should have been checked out properly, so i would be very umm about a paeditrician that didn't follow it up.

Even my son who has heat management problems and over 20 fits has never had a fit from getting worked up, the hospitals would be innundated if that was the case, it's outdated nonsense.

It's an internet forum, all we have to go on is the words written, so when someone says 'screaming' of course I take it as screaming.

Horrible postings to people who don't agree Christy?
I'm not horrible, I may disagree but I'm not 'horrible'.

Also, the Paed did check it up properly. DD had all manner of tests.

You're the one who made it into a personal attack Christywisty. If you think she's talking crap, fine, but calling her 'a nasty piece of work' is unnecessary.

Agree about the fact this is an internet forum and therefore a passive medium. That's my point. You have to therefore do some of that interpretation yourself or at least give consideration for the fact that your use of the word "screaming" might be different to the OPs. For example: I was devastated to hear that Desperate Housewives ends this week, I was devastated when my daughter lost her favourite toy, I was devastated when I had a miscarriage. Same word, many many different meanings.

I agree wishingchair, but you weren't really devastated when DH ended, were you? It's exaggeration, so understandabley people might think you were a bit odd if you really were 'devastated'.