I know I am but I'm going to do it anyway!

[mytetherisending]

DD2 is now 6mths, has been bf on demand mostly and is fully weaned on 3 meals with desserts, juice from a cup and the occasional snack. She is still demanding night feeds which I feel she shouldn't need if she took good feeds at 10 and 230. Instead she faffs with these and wants milk during the night. I have now decided to quit breast feeding as she will not take bottles- so it is all bottles or none iyswim. I hope that being able to see how much she takes during the day and a gentle prod to take more will reduce night feeding. I have dusted off the GF book which I used with dd1 (and who has only had a handful of disturbed nights since 3mths!) in the hope that the routine will get me some modicum of sleep. I am knackered.

I know it is unreasonable to give up bf for the sake of my sleep, however, dd1 is constantly tired (2.9mths) and is behaving awfully because of it. The baby disturbs her sleep every night

I just needed to vent sorry! Grrr to all those people who say babies get their own pattern and start sleeping eventually- I can't wait til 'eventually' happens!

"shouting through indignation of not getting what she wants"

She is a baby FGS.
A BABY.

I don't think that I could have expected an 11 year old to have to be awake in the middle of the night while I did cc (even if I approved of it),his needs were equal to his brother's needs.

One person's "acceptable" is another person's "nightmare." And we all have to balance the whole family's needs (short-term and long-term) when deciding what to do about the middle of the night. So CC will be great for some families, but a non-starter for others. For us, it worked a treat for DS, but we couldn't face it for DD. So we elected to put up with her waking at night until she grew out of it of her own accord. So we can't have been that fussed about it at the time, or we'd have been prepared to get tough.

I expect that I would have bf at night in preference to cc. Sleep for the whole family was the most important thing. Luckily my water system worked in all 3 cases.

ds would have screamed and screamed if we'd tried to give him water! He completely refused it until he was drinking from a cup (which was a worry as it was a hot summer and he was a Spring baby). I think you just have to figure out what works best for each baby and your family at the time.

When we do cc dd1 will be sleeping at my friends house so she doesn't get disturbed at night. Hopefully once dd2 is sleeping through life will improve for all of us.

DD1 was complaining of being tired before we even left for nursery this morning

"It's amazing that so many people manage to have a DC2/3/4 without needing to leave them to cry because of their other children. So I don't buy that as a reason.

Yes it's hard - I must have missed the memo that said parenting was easy. You're tired? Tough shit. I think we all have the t shirt.

You want an easy life? Don't have kids. "

Absolutely!!

I'm with Martin Samuel;

"Based on the belief that as it is entirely your choice to bring a child into the world, what happens is entirely your responsibility, and if you can't watch your favourite shows or dine unaccompanied in Portuguese restaurants and spend your days in transit between rugby, football and hockey practice, plus indoor cricket and the sort of party schedule that would give Kate Moss a run for her money, tough. Your choice, remember. Not theirs. If a baby could poke its head out, turn to the midwife and say: ?What, these pillocks? No, thanks, love, I was hoping for one with a brain,? then I would have sympathy for the ?me time? lobby. As it is, you wanted it, you look after it. This means, when it cries, do what you would do with any adult for whom you have feelings and offer a little support and comfort. Only in the world of the child are we advised to turn our backs."

Greenmonkies you make so many assumptions.
That is an opinion- nothing more or less.
Yes I chose to have both dds and have done a bloddy good job with both thus far! You slate me for wanting sleep for everyone in the house. My philosophy in life (and in nursing) is the greatest good for the greatest number. The bay cannot have all my time and energy because dd1 and DH need some part of me as well. You may wish to just concentrate on the newborn and jump to every whim, I'm not. So long as my baby is loved, cared for and comes to no harm I see no problem in teaching a baby to sleep at night, anymore than teaching any other skill needed in life. Sleeping alone is par for the course at some stage and a toddler sleeping alone for the first time will undoubtedly suffer more than an infant and will also remember being left to cry, unlike the infant. The infant is used to background noise and being confined and so long as these things are replicated the LO should be comforted. They do have needs but they do realise you are coming back, even at 6wks. DD1 stopped crying on hearing footsteps on the landing and therefore connected the sound with somebody coming. DD2 does the same- they are not as stupid as you seem to think. Even animals like dogs and cats know when owners get back from work if they have set patterns and likewise a newborn will know by certain cues that a parent will come back at a certain time, if you go into them to wake them at set times.

On the everybody else has dc2,3,4. Lots of people have dcs who will sleep through lots of noise- mine doesn't. They might find it acceptable that their other children are suffering through lack of sleep and finding it difficult to concentrate in class, I find it unacceptable. I want my dd1 to enjoy nursery for the 2 mornings she goes- not walk round like a zombie!

MTIE, Not surprised Dd was complaining of being tired. Your other child is keeping her awake.
Why not just deal with the baby when it needs feeding?
It would save so much hassle, no-one being woken up, no screaming baby, and about ten minutes to feed her and put back down.

Your silence wrt being 'Tori' has been deafening.

I would like to jump in and comment on the fact that someone made a comment that a person would be dangerous as an HV if they have weaned their own child early or used CC. Absolute and utter tosh...

I too am a nurse practitioner. I used to smoke and binge drink like a trooper in my early 20's. I was still able to give appropriate advise to patients re healthy lifestyle... Nurses and HV's are perfectly capable of performing their jobs and imparting appropriate advice regardless of their personal choices.

Totally different.
Smoking and drinking is an adult activity that you yourself choose to do.
Feeding mush to an underage baby is something the baby has no say in and as such should not be advocated by any health professional, be it in personal or professional life.
It is nigh on impossible to not put your own views into your work in practice no matter how hard you try.

Thankyou Barnsleybelle

BTW Greenmonkies the extract you quoted was taken completely out of context and was with reference to Claire verity who demanded that parents didn't cuddle their baby day or night. IMO that is a completely different issue from expecting a 6mth old to learn to sleep at night. My baby has lots of stimulation, attention and cuddles during the day, this is how she knows the difference between day and night. i.e. minimal stimulation at night.

VS a baby does have choice, mine clamps her mouth shut and turns her head away if she doesn't want food. I also take the cues of her being in her walker and following me tugging my trousers, when she can see her meal cooling, as a sure sign she wants her dinner!

Lots of parents do lots of things not advised. Like not feeding family foods then expecting the child to eat family meals as a toddler Then wonder why dc won't eat their food. Don't believe children understand the word no before 18mths and wonder why said child is wild and doesn't behave at toddler group/nursery. The list is endless.
Considering I am supposed to be the devil where parenting is concerned I seem to have a fairly well balanced, pleasant dd1 who sleeps and eats well, which is more than the majority of posters on mumsnet

" It is nigh on impossible to not put your own views into your workplace"

I don't find it impossible at all, you maybe can't, but i most certainly can.
As an individual i have many views re abortion, but as a trained nurse i am able to seperate myself from that and care for the physical and emotional needs of a patient who chooses to have one.
The fact that a Hv chooses to do cc or wean her baby early does not mean she is unable
to give recommended advice to a mother who she is caring for.

Maybe you are so set and forceful on your opinions you are unable to support those who think differently.. Please don't assume everybody else is the same.

I can imagine how dangerous actually that someone like this would be as an HV. " do it the recommended way or your on your own".

Being a nurse/hv is about giving relevant advice but also helping to support those who choose not to take it, but do things a little differently.

I think you'll fit right in as a HV Tori

from your op sounds as if you are doing smashing.sorry to hear you both so tired.

but your decision do what is best, and hey someone will rocjk uop and say the opposite. because baboes are all differnt and respond to differnt thinhs and mum's differnt too

two children under 3- phew that is hard work.

hope this resolves to your satisfaction

vs - by doing CC it is a way of dealing with the baby so to speak.

I dont' think there's many posters on here who would choose to do CV's methods. and I certainly can say 110% that the OP deffo doesn't go in for her methods, with any children, not just her own btw.

FWIW since the majority of HVs have been doing the job for many years and few have been trained in recent years. If they had their own dcs they would have weaned at 3mths because that was the advice then. Does that then mean that they can no longer do their jobs because they did something different to the new guidelines?

Marala, do you really think all these mothers love their children less than you love yours? Really?
I would never do cc if it was cruel, it's an absurd thing to suggest. Maybe it doesn't suit you, and that's fine, but that doesn't make you a martyr.
Will you always rush to your child the instant it cries?

I also would like to ask how do people know that when doing cc the baby "has given up".

Who knows this??? Where is the actual evidence??? Is it just some "experts" who decide to say it. As, for every expert who says that, others disagree.

I used CC with both my dcs. The longest i left them to cry was 10mins before i went in to reassure. They are both extremely affectionate children, with each other and with myself and dh. My eldest confides lots in me and we are all extremely close.

So where is the evidence that cc has been bad for my children??