I know I am but I'm going to do it anyway!

[mytetherisending]

DD2 is now 6mths, has been bf on demand mostly and is fully weaned on 3 meals with desserts, juice from a cup and the occasional snack. She is still demanding night feeds which I feel she shouldn't need if she took good feeds at 10 and 230. Instead she faffs with these and wants milk during the night. I have now decided to quit breast feeding as she will not take bottles- so it is all bottles or none iyswim. I hope that being able to see how much she takes during the day and a gentle prod to take more will reduce night feeding. I have dusted off the GF book which I used with dd1 (and who has only had a handful of disturbed nights since 3mths!) in the hope that the routine will get me some modicum of sleep. I am knackered.

I know it is unreasonable to give up bf for the sake of my sleep, however, dd1 is constantly tired (2.9mths) and is behaving awfully because of it. The baby disturbs her sleep every night

I just needed to vent sorry! Grrr to all those people who say babies get their own pattern and start sleeping eventually- I can't wait til 'eventually' happens!

Spandex, I wasn't harping on about her post at all. It was yours that I was questioning.
I have been very supportive of MyTether I think!?
No point going over her past choices, just suggesting that if sleep problems have arisen then maybe her current diet may be impacting.

sorry bub I was answering you, but not directing it to you iycwim - the harping on bit was to the majority of posters who have been critizising.

re the CC bit - I think what that's going to come down to in all honesty is - you either like it or you don't. I personally don't, but that's my choice - which consequently has meant DS is now only just going back to sleeping in his own bed after me sleeping on his floor for a week!

If CC is what works for someone then who are we to judge them and say it's bad?

that's all I'm saying.

(not meaning this specifically to you either )

Agree with you re cc, but your comment on early weaning was my concern.
No offense taken though.

Why would it worry you VS I don't agree with abortions un less there are circumstances that the outcome would be bad for all concerned such as rape, severe disability with no quality of life, not as a contraceptive. However, I am perfectly able to separate my own personal feelings in order to help the patient through a difficult ordeal, just as I am perfectly capable of offering the guidelines to mothers, but will also support their decision to parent as they see fit unless it actually causes a child harm (i.e. not speculative might happens!)

Sorry spandex I lost my profile when I name changed with the pics, which are on my other computer! You can look on facebook though!

Because even though health visitors are not meant to advise weaning before 26 weeks (the health visitors association are one of the organisations who adopted the 26 week guideline in May 2003) you don't seem to see a problem with your DD eating three meals or weaning her at 13 weeks.
You aren't tori by any chance are you?

What would you say to a mother who said she wanted to wean at 13 weeks?

Don't mean to sound like I'm attacking you, but just wondering how hard you would try to advise a mother to wait till 6 months when you clearly aren't worried by the risks yourself?

I didn't know you were doing that!?!

is that with 'I' in the health centre?

Marla and VS, You know who people DON'T listen to? People who attack them and force them to constantly defend their position.

I would obviously advise that there is evidence to indicate that weaning that early can lead to bowel disorders in later life (as my HV did) and would also say that if that was her choice to keep it to baby rice until the required earliest time, or longer if possible (also as my HV did). I certainly wouldn't be judgemental about their choice, as it is just that, personal choice. Babies are individuals, with their own individual needs. Just as sleeping through the night isn't determined by a text book, nor is dietary need IMHO.

MS - now that's out of order - where has the OP said she's pro weaning at 3 days??

and the fact she's pro CC and you're not doesn't make her a danger at all - it means her parenting methods are different to yours.

CC in some cases can benefit both baby and mother - to suggest that CC is inhumane etc etc just takes away another mother's choice. the mother should be allowed to choose CC from 6 months if she so wishes.

it's the whole GF V argements again isn't it - some love her other's lothe her - because a person's in one camp instead of the other doesn't make said person dangerous.

No spandex, I'm planning to apply for next year near MIL

I don't disagree with the guidelines, just that they have to be taken in the context of the child, not completely by the letter to every child. You have to balance the risks with objectivity.
For me, I was weaned early and have no health problems, no FH of eczema, asthma etc or bowel disorders, so the risks are quite minimal. Also, both dds were well developed and born on time, not prem.
Obviously I would agree that a baby of normal weight should be fine on breast milk until 6mths (or formula if that is how the mother chooses to feed). I also agree that if their is a family history of bowel problems etc that weaning should not be before 6mths. Same with allergies iyswim.

no your not marla but mothers still have a choice fgs. you do what's best for YOUR child. YOU do what YOU think's right for your child, YOU make the choices.

it's not like you have a child and there for you're not entitled to make any choices or decisions any more.

MyTehterIsEnding is training to be a HV????

I despair.....

MS it does, however, I did not have time to feed every hour on the hour to provide those calories. My whole family were weaned at approx 10-12wks and nobody has any ill effects (including extended family BTW) My parents, uncles and aunts are all over 60 Later than this and everyone starts to get problems with something?

yes and that's your choice - not all parents share your view, likewise not all share mine.

and iirc that's not what CC is - that's leaving them to scream - that and CC are two very different things (but i'll stand corrected by anyone who's ACTUALLY used the method)

imo - CC is about letting them cry for 5 mins, then 10 mins and soothing inbetween.

MS you blatantly know nothing about cc. I certainly won't let dd2 cry until her throat aches and her lungs are sore I also know the difference between my baby being upset and shouting through indignation of not getting what she wants. BIG DIFFERENCE!

I don't believe in controlled crying, the DCs give up because they have the expectation that it won't do any good.I didn't want mine to think like that, I wanted them to know that if they were in distress someone would come. However I wasn't going to be up in the night for what was purely a comfort feed when everyone should be sleeping. I just got up to them, so they knew I was there and gave them water. They were reassured and went back to sleep. They were then able to wake in the night, realise it was still night time and go back to sleep. It was the best solution for us all.

The only thing I would watch for is assuming that a method that has worked for one child will work for another. I used a form of CC for ds, and it worked very well, you could time his crying and know exactly what was going on with him as he let go of being angry and settled himself down. He was very good at letting us know how he felt about life, and we responded accordingly. I was breastfeeding at the time, but he was always a very routine orientated baby, liked to be swaddled, sucked his thumb, and was generally easy to settle. dd on the other hand was much more difficult, could not settle on her own, had no sense of routine for a long time and CC just did not work for her at all. We ended up moving our rooms around to make sure that she didn't wake ds up (there is a 16mth gap between them, so I know how exhausting it is having two close in age) and dh and I basically ended up sleeping in shifts, he got her to sleep, and I looked after her in the night. By a year she was sleeping well enough to go in with ds, but it was a tough time for us all! On the other hand she was a very easy toddler, and ds was a nightmare, so it's all swings and roundabouts

Abbey, isn't that pretty much what Controlled Crying is, though? You still get up to them, but at increasingly lengthy intervals? And be reassuring but dull when there? This encourages them not so much to give up (in despair) but to realise it's not worth the effort.

It can't be controlled crying clam as I didn't let them cry! I was a light sleeper when they were small. Out of bed at first cry quick stroke and water-back to sleep. They didn't start crying properly and weren't properly awake. If the had been fully awake they wouldn't have gone off so quickly. They just got used to waking and drifting off again on their own. I can't say it would work for everyone but I wouldn't want to do controlled crying at 4am as DH got up at 5.30am and with the younger 2 I had a junior/secondary aged DC. We all needed sleep.