"So is it just coincidence then that the children who I know who are parented in a routine are far more content, happy than those who don't. I know loads of children and without word of a lie that is what I personally have observed.
People who are prejudiced against something tend to 'see' that which confirms their prejudices.
I see dozens and dozens of babies - I'm an antenatal teacher and I meet up with my mums in the weeks after the birth and hear about how they're getting on with their babies. What I see is this: that all babies are different. Some babies are very high-intensity and their mothers really struggle in the first few weeks and months. These babies can be very difficult to get into a routine, so mothers are sometimes forced to care for them in a more instinctive, less regulated way in order to simply survive. I have come across 3 week old babies who sleep less than 10 hours in a 24 hour period, despite the parents doing everything in their power to make them sleep. I've come across babies who cry for prolonged periods during the day, no matter what the parent does. What would you suggest to these parents? Let your baby cry? Don't pick them up because they've got to learn to sleep? The truth is that all parents find a way of coping that suit their parenting style and suits the character of their children. And there are lots of parents who care for their children in ways that are the polar opposite to what you do, who have very happy, thriving, contented babies.
Wanted to add, I'd also be very interested to know at what age you think it's reasonable to expect a baby to sleep through the night? My babies have been exclusively breastfed and started on solids late. I wouldn't have been able to stop night feeds easily before 6 or 7 months as they weren't well established on solids before this time.
"The difference is i do it during the day and not through the night when it's sleep time"
I take it you don't cuddle your partner in bed during the night either, or show him any affection? Or is it just babies who shouldn't be cuddled at night?
"I think that's nicer for her than having to cry because she needs her sleep prop to return"
Babies who co-sleep and feed at night don't cry. They don't need to. Mummy is close at hand. When they're ready and you're ready they move into their own beds and sleep happily there. All three of mine did and are very good, independent sleepers now.
"but plain and simple because they have and alwayd do get plenty of restful sleep. It's what babies need to develop"
Wanted to take issue with this: according to the records, as a group, exclusively breastfed babies who are far more likely to be feeding throughout the night until at least the middle of the first year, have better health and development than ff babies, who are less likely to be fed at night after the first few months, and are more likely to sleep through earlier. I do think it's worth pointing out that night waking is the healthy, historical and physiological norm for breastfed babies for at least the first six months of their lives, if not longer.