really fed up

[bovverred]

with everytime someone produces another disruptive, out of control, violent, rude etc etc etc child the pc brigade give them a condition, and name. whatever happened to just plain naughty and needing disipline. makes me soooooo blody angry.

Nooka you forgot that PND isn't an excuse either.

Wonder if the Daily Mail made that up?

"I also assumed (possibly incorrectly) that the OP was referring to another long-running thread (she said she had read a thread and then posted this one) about a child with SN whose needs are not being met at school. "

I saw it this way too.

If bovvered had made a more reasonable and considered OP and hadn't been so rude when replying to other posters - well she wouldn't had such a 'strong' response.

10 years ago I had a wild/ out of control/ 12 tantrums a day child. This went on from the minute she was born until she was about 5. A friend had a similar child and we met up when dd was about 2 and when my friend saw dd's ways the first thing she said was "is she going to be put on Ritilin?" "No, she is just naughty" I said.
Was I right? who knows.

All I know is that 10 years down the line dd is still a 0 to 60 miles an hour child though she can now control her temper really well, and friends child is a lot of the time out of his head on prescribed med, expelled from 4 schools and now in a school to quote his mum "for naughty kids". She cant get him statemented though he has obvious behavioural problems. From meds he hasnt needed but been given for years or did he just need more discipline?

Having got this far I have forgotten what my main point was sorry - but rather then deleting it I may as well still post it!!! Hope no one takes offence as I am NO WAY saying children with autism are naughtier than any other child they are not. I have the lovely job of working with people with autism and see how much they can struggle to be accepted.

oh gateau never misses a chance to get a shot in about SN. I doubt he's 'bothered' about bovvered - just jumping on a handy passing bandwagon

yeah i was amusing myself playing 'daily mail cliche bingo' with all the OP's posts

LOL @ 'daily mail cliche bingo'

Whilst some of us were playing smug-non-judgemental-guardian-bingo.

Yes, bucharest because really we're all itching to make spurious and hurtful judgements on parents coping with children who have behavioural difficulties, if only we would admit it to ourselves.

I didn't realise having compassion for people coping with a very difficult situation was smug?

or perhaps some of us are playing living-with-this-shit-everyday bingo

(my personal living with this shit refers to the general public who think that autism is 'made-up' & the lack of special schools etc).

I have'nt read the whole thread. I think that there are condidtions etc that kids have and parents need our understanding. However I do think that there lots of naughty children about and lots of clueless, lazy parents too! I am shocked an a regular basis at the reaction of parents to their kids unruley behaviour. We do seem to live in a society where some parents can't be bothered or are worried that if they discipline theie child they won't love them.

blimey. never seen 'non-judgemental' used as an insult before. how odd.

I have read a bit more of the thread and think that OP is not doing themselves any favours with their attitudue. I fully accept that behavourial disorders DO exsist and SOME children are not naughty. However I know many parents who seem to almost support their child's inappropraite behaviour and should TRY parenting instead of mamby pamping. I know lots of parents who wonder why their kid is naughty - er, look at the way they are treated. I love my kids dearly but will not accept naughty behaviour. People DO judge and will be thinking, what a brat on the quiet, I do all the time.

And its the parents in some cases that need pills nOT the kid.

ooo i no what you mean

they tried to label my sister with ADHD because she was very hyperactive and naughty

mum took her to some after school clubs and horse riding

bang, shes calmed down and hasnt got ADHD. its a cop-out in my opinion and means that kids that do genuinely have these conditions dont get the support they need

I know a child on ritilin, who when his parents split up he began having behavioural issues, his father didn't want him and his mother found him a pain every time she had a new boyfriend and would send him off with his father. If anyone had spent a minute actually talking to him I'm not sure the diagnosis would have been made and ritilin given,.... all by the GP no assessment unit.

Haven't read the whole thread but I honestly don't think that a diagnosis of ADHD are given out like sweeties.

I know one friend who has pushed and pushed to get a diagnosis for her daughter and a speech therapist, consultant pedeatrician, and child pyschologist all say there is nothing wrong with her. However, none have been brave enough to point out that that if the little girls mum did not scream, hit and fly off the handle then her child wouldn't either.

hello it's "bloody pc brigade" me again with all my names and labels that mean nothing, hey it's all just an excuse

Sorry I didn't respond earlier, I was too busy in my pc job discussing all these naughty kids and their rubbish parents.

Interesting to see how the thread has moved on I see the op doesn't take kindly to being disageed with.

Just for info the average ASD assessment takes approx 6 months involves 4 hours of interviews with the parents (at least) an ADOS, a couple of school meetings, a school obs, a SALY assessment, a community paed developmental assessment, and ed psch assessment (IF you can get one, I know it's crap these days), an individual sessions at home and school as well as in our centre with the child. ADHD assessment is similar, oh and that one involves a detailed family history too.

These diagnoses AREN'T given out that easily! During ADHD assessments the parents will often state they had similar problems when they were younger, but in the "good old days" they were alienated, stigmatised and unhappy because it wasn't recognised as a problem.

Quite often when parents recognise ADHD/ADD within themselves it's like switching a light on, and leads to better outcomes for all concerned.

to be fair she wasnt fully diagnosed... the doctor just told my mum to take her to these sessions e.t.c cause she showed all the signs of adhd

Hijack alert:

For those of you interested in autism may I recommend a fabulous book by Elizabeth Moon called The Speed of Dark. She has an autistic son, by the way.

Thank you.

I wonder whether people on initially being told that their child might have symptoms on the autistic spectrum find it difficult to let that go, even though later assessments are more reassuring. Our SENCO suggested that ds might be autistic, and he did at the time fit some of the diagnostic criteria. But when assessed by the Paed, and later the EP it was decided that he was just a little idiosyncratic, has high sensory needs (ie fiddles with everything) and is dyslexic. He was on the SEN list at his English school for his behaviour but is getting extra help with his handwriting in his US (it will be interesting to see how the Canadian school assess him). Sometimes I think AS is a very unhelpful term because it encompasses such diversity, but I can also see that some parents may find it easier to say of their easily distracted high energy over sensitive child he has ADHD or another term that the person listening may accept better. My son is not usually naughty, but he can be disruptive, and if the techniques that work well for a AS child work well with him, then I don't see why that should be a problem. He still gets disciplined like any other child. In any case it should be remembered that at the present time AS is largely a description of symptoms, as the genetic and/or chemical/environmental markers have yet to be definitively identified. Until that time the border line between NT and AS will be blurred, and at the borderline somewhat subjective.

i did not come on here to bad mouth genuine sn cases. i simply stated an opion. had i realised this was not allowed i would not have done so. if i was to blunt (due to my lack of education!) i again, apologise. no doubt this will make not the slightest difference to those who accuse me as they obviously have made up htere minds.

i do believe alot of todays values or lack of them are down to poor parenting. people dont belive in marriage like they use to, couples dont stay together like they use to and consequently this has an awful effect on their childrne.sex is seen as a nothing as is drugs and alcohole. and teenagers are bringing up babies when they should be having a childhood of their own. not very trendy but what i think.

erm i really wouldnt start that one bovvered...

my parents did a great job raising me and my sister. i think the fact that i went back to school after having my ds and am now juggling being a parent and schoolchild proves that my parents have installed good values in me

i also think that the fact that i am in a stable 3 year relationship with my dp proves that they installed values in me about relationships e.t.c

alot of my friends have parents that arent married and they arent "awfully affected" they cope - infact its not even an issue!

sex is not just seen as drugs and alcohol, maybe by the media but not by the majority of teens

sweeping generalisations much!!

i did say "i do believe" i wasnt trying to state a fact. i just wanted to clarify where i was comming from. good night all

bovvered, as i said before you have raised a number of valid points... not for one minute have you come across to me as anything but someone who is genuinely concerned about society and values today.
I don't think you have made any generalisations, just made an accurate point that some children have a lack of discipline due to poor parenting... It's fact, sad as it is, it is fact.