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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

really fed up

177 replies

bovverred · 24/09/2008 09:47

with everytime someone produces another disruptive, out of control, violent, rude etc etc etc child the pc brigade give them a condition, and name. whatever happened to just plain naughty and needing disipline. makes me soooooo blody angry.

OP posts:
Bucharest · 24/09/2008 13:18

peacelily- thanks for your sensible post...can I just ask though, do you think that some allbeit a very small minority of people- whether that be parents or teachers- do go looking for a label when the answer really is just bad behaviour? (which may or may not be caused by the parenting)

Original poster
bovverred · 24/09/2008 13:19

i am not demeaning anyone, i am saying that it is not an excuse. if people wehre more family oriantated they would have extended family where everyone pulled together and the child would not loose out on disipline and love. i know all about pnd thanks very much and i do have a daughter who i love and support through everything now and in later life. i hope she raises and suports her children in the same way. with a husband who is just the same.

OP posts:
slightlycrumpled · 24/09/2008 13:19

It's all a bit generalised though isn't it bovvered. You see a child with problematic behaviour and immediately jump to conclusions, eg: crap food.

How do you know?!

There is indeed a problem with violence in todays society, you only have to turn on the news to see that.

There is also a problem accessing help for your child should they have a disability or behavioural disorder. How many of these children would have gone on to the lives they have had the correct help had been in place for them.

Of course there are bad parents, mostly however it's just a bad system.

Twelvelegs · 24/09/2008 13:20

Mamadiva, you have a 2.5 yr old.... what do you expect?

MarlaSinger · 24/09/2008 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
bovverred · 24/09/2008 13:21

so because peacelilly gets paid and has qualifications in childcare and i dont but have 3 of my own and my own opinions i am wrong. perhaps you could tell me what the reasons are for the state of our youth today.

OP posts:
Twelvelegs · 24/09/2008 13:23

Meaning, in response to your first post that your child sounds pretty normal.

mamadiva · 24/09/2008 13:24

Piss off back under your bridge!

You've offended people who are probably pushed to their limits in the first place but hey ho that is what you wanted am going to hide this now.

Thank god we have perfect little angels in our midst hate to tell you love they don't bloody exist I'm sure your children misbehave too so get a bloody life and stop insulting, demeaning and patronising those of us who perhaps don't have the 'perfect family' that you ahem have.

Original poster
bovverred · 24/09/2008 13:24

There is also a problem accessing help for your child should they have a disability or behavioural disorder. How many of these children would have gone on to the lives they have had the correct help had been in place for them.

but nothings changed over the years, there was no help 50 years ago!!

OP posts:
Original poster
bovverred · 24/09/2008 13:25

mamadiva. how beautifully put.....i rest my case.

OP posts:
Twelvelegs · 24/09/2008 13:25

Aren't their 'genetics' that may mean a spirited child born into a dull as ditchwater family can be deemed a problem whereas if he/she was in a very active family he/she would be a lively joy to be with. A child couped up all day driven mad? etc.

Janos · 24/09/2008 13:26

Does anyone else wonder why these 'controversial' posters always have such bad spelling and grammar? It does seem to be a bit of a pattern.

mamadiva · 24/09/2008 13:27

LOL I know twelvelegs, that was my point though I think he's just a usual monster and I ahve lots of friends who have greatly behaved 2YO's and because my HV tld me to look out for ADHD as he is very hyper but as far as I'm concerned I can't do anything about it at his age. If I can avoid it I don't wnat my child on drugs etc Ive seen it with my bro and my cousin so in my eyes and until they can prve me wrong he has nothing wrong with him he is simply just very very boisterous and cheeky.

ComeOVeneer · 24/09/2008 13:28

Well you must feel very strongly about this subject seeing as you have joined this site specifically to post about it. What drew you to vent your anger on this particular forum?

Original poster
bovverred · 24/09/2008 13:28

there is spirited of course. but that is not the point here. spirited is gr8, but so is having respect and caring for others. sadly the later is seriously lacking today

OP posts:
slightlycrumpled · 24/09/2008 13:28

Yes and fifty years ago disadvantaged young people were still getting into trouble.

The fact that there was no help 50 years ago does not on any level mean that we should write off the children that struggle today.

Original poster
bovverred · 24/09/2008 13:31

i have been on here for years. i read an earlier thread and it made me post. i namechanged. perhaps im guttless a condition bought about by my lack of spelling and grammar. does that mean i can go out and start kicking people and swearing at them.

OP posts:
coppertop · 24/09/2008 13:31

Oh the irony of bovverred bemoaning the lack of "caring for others"...

Original poster
bovverred · 24/09/2008 13:32

BUT THEY WERE NOT KILLING EACH OTHER AND MUGGING OLD LADIES

OP posts:
Janos · 24/09/2008 13:32

"so is having respect and caring for others. sadly the later is seriously lacking today"

Yes, I agree with statement. Mind you, I'd say posters who start spiteful and ill-informed threads fall into this category too.

There seem to be a few of them about.

I'm sure it's not the same person namechanging of course.

Original poster
bovverred · 24/09/2008 13:33

How dare you. If i did not care about others i would not have an opinion or care about the state of our society

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 24/09/2008 13:34

bovverred-dont even know where to start!you have little angels and dont like other peoples children-thats fine just keep your narrow minded opinions to yourself.why offend people!
i have 3 children -2 are as youd say angels.1 is very hard work.i dont label him,i feel like crap.the teachers label him and tell me its not me thats crap.but how can i have 2 well behaved children if im that crap?please tell me.

Original poster
bovverred · 24/09/2008 13:35

this is the first time i have ever name changed. believe waht you all want to. it was a geniune post.

OP posts:
slightlycrumpled · 24/09/2008 13:37

Do you know bovverred, yes they were! They probably didn't have access to the weapons and gang culture is certainly new, but violence is old.

Your arguments may be well intentioned but poorly executed.

If the thread to which you are referring is the one I am thinking of than shame on you.

shootfromthehip · 24/09/2008 13:37

There is an issue here. Unfortunately it seems to have got lost amid the mud slinging . The world is NOT the way that it was 50 yrs ago FGS. In the same way that there are exceptions in any family behaviourally, can it not then be accepted that in a population of our size, there are people who make excuses for their kids. Feel like a broken record