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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to give my dd "in the night garden" toys?

150 replies

babymt · 07/09/2008 14:16

My dd2 was 2 on friday and for her birthday has been given by 2 seperate people an In the Night Garden book and a dolly (Upsy Daisy). AIBU to not let her have them?

My reasons are that I A. Passionately hate the program as I just think its completely idiotic and B. Think that her having them toys makes it look like I endorce the show.

I know lots of you will let your children watch ITNG and they love it. But I don't like it and will under no circumstances let mine watch it. I'm not criticising those who let their kids watch it, its just something that bugs me.

Also AIBU to be annoyed that people seem to give my kids inappropriate toys i.e. books for 5+ year olds (including Enid Blytons for my 2 year old!) or baby books. Or toys will loads of little bits when my dd's a "put everything in her mouth"er.

I feel a bit bad for my dd2 coz she didn't get hardly anything she liked for her birthday. Which is also embarassing for me. You know when they do that rip the present open then throw it on the floor then display no interest when someone tries to show them it.

Ok I IABU a bit I think.

OP posts:
naturalblonde · 07/09/2008 14:20

YABU. It's a gift, you should take it gracefully and say thank you. Unless you told these people your thoughts on ITNG in which case YANB(quite so)U.

pollyblue · 07/09/2008 14:24

I think you are being a little UR, yes.

I can't stand the Teletubbies but dd (18 months) finds them fascinating - that's fine, she's the age they're aimed at and I'm (ahem!) quite a bit older. My dd has a couple of In The Night Garden books which she loves, because the characters appeal to here. They encourage her to read, so I'm happy with that.

And people who don't always think about age etc when buying for children, it's a shame but i wouldn't get annoyed about it, it's nice that they bother at all. Put the books etc away for her for when she is older. Most 2 year old have short attention spans and strong likes and dislikes, what does it matter if she's not immediately taken with something?

SoupDragon · 07/09/2008 14:25

They are toys not crack cocaine.

StayFrosty · 07/09/2008 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Monkeytrousers · 07/09/2008 14:27

You are not only being U, but totally mental.

It isn't made for mature minds, hence you not liking it. It is made for young, growing minds and helps them enormoulsy.

mummyloveslucy · 07/09/2008 14:30

Wether my daughter likes a gift or not she will ALWAYS say thank you to the person and I wright thank you notes to everyone and my daughter wrights her name (with help).
I've taught her to be greatful for everything she recieves. Someone has taken the time to remember her birthday, choose and buy a present, wrap it and give it with their love. Whatever the present might be.
It's important to realise the thought behind the gift.
Maybe your Mother failed to teach you that.

jellybeans · 07/09/2008 14:31

YABU and OTT

A present is just a thought for someone, often from quite different people. But they took the time and trouble and money to get something they thought would be appreciated. My kids are grateful for anything (even tat or stuff they already have) that they get as a gift as they the way I bring them up. Would never expect certain gifts!

sunnytimer · 07/09/2008 14:31

Message withdrawn

cheesychips · 07/09/2008 14:33

YABU
How much did you know about what a 2 year old might do/be interested in before having your own? I was rubbish! And I would still have no idea what to get a 9 or 11 year old (my eldest is 5)

Accept gifts graciously - what you do with them then is down to you.

takingitasitcomes · 07/09/2008 14:33

I think you might be being a weeny bit unreasonable. Why not let her have the toys? If she hasn't seen the programme she'll not associate them with it at all. You could help her name them with new names maybe? Or is it that you don't want other people to think you let her watch it? If so, then I think that's a wee bit silly.

As for people giving toys for older kids... yes it is a bit annoying; but is surely just a sign that they're a little out of touch rather than being deliberately difficult. Just put things aside until DD is older. She's only 2 - she won't really understand what her birthday is let alone be disappointed by the presents she receieved - unless you've given her the impression she should be disappointed through your own reactions.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 07/09/2008 14:37

Are there any presents you are happy with? Books either too babyish or too old, ITNG inappropriate because you don't like it (you're not meant to you're an adult).

Perhaps you should draw up a birthday list hmm

Original poster
babymt · 07/09/2008 14:38

I would just like to say I'd NEVER say to someone that I didn't want their present. That would be appauling of me. I was just thinking of secretly ebaying it or giving it away to someone else. I always write thank you notes too btw .

One friend who bought the INTG dolly knows I hate ITNG but her son watches it hence getting the dolly I guess. Its very weird for her to give me dd the dolly and yes I do feel like shes not respecting my dislike for the programme. If feels a bit like "see...she likes it and shes missing out by you not letting her watch it"...might be me just being hormonal and sensitive re that tho! LOL

The too old present thing just annoys me. I've got about 3 boxes of toys in the loft saved for later dates which is quite handy I guess in spacing them out but the things like Enid Blyton books is just irritating. They're great books but keeping them for 10+ years before they can read them seems nuts!

I cannot see how ITNG can possibly help grow a childs mind. If someone would like to explain to me the educational value of this program I'd love to hear it.

OP posts:
Countingthegreyhairs · 07/09/2008 14:38

Sorry but I think UABU

and others aren't responsible for buying exactly what she wants (even if that can be determined for a 2 yr old) - that's your job

My dd receives lots of presents that aren't age appropriate but sometimes the giver doesn't have dc, or sometimes they have forgotten what is appropriate for that particular age

It's the intention/thought behind the present that's important as Jellybean says

AbbaFan · 07/09/2008 14:40

YABU

Your DD likes ITNG.

You are being very OTT IMO

Twiglett · 07/09/2008 14:41

bloody hell .. really? .. it's not Barney you know

Now someone making a stand against Barney or Bratz or even Barbie I can understand .. but In the Night Garden? Seriously, it's like skinning Winnie the Pooh and using him for a rug

LOLs

Countingthegreyhairs · 07/09/2008 14:42

sorry x posts

Admit it's a bit strange of your friend if you have expressed active dislike of the programme ....and have in my time had to politely deflect a "gift" of toys/clothes for older dc after another mum has had a decluttering session (not talking specific b'day presents here)

Does every programme have to have an educational value to it? I think ITNG is quite charming and I'm 44 .....

StayFrosty · 07/09/2008 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueBumedFly · 07/09/2008 14:44

Twiglett - that made me almost snort my tea out my nose.... skinning WTP - ROFL!

Original poster
babymt · 07/09/2008 14:44

OMG not thought about the whole "child not saying thank you" even if they didn't want it thing . That would be very bad manners and I'm so glad someone pointed that out coz I wouldn't want them to think I didn't think the presents were good and therefore they shouldn't be polite and say thank you.

I am always polite and thankful and definitely want my children to follow suit.

OP posts:
earlyriser · 07/09/2008 14:44

Your dd is only 2 and i imagine for her the novelty of the presnet opening was more exciting than the contents. It probably wasn't that "she didn't get hardly anything she liked for her birthday" as 2 year olds sometimes take time to 'accept' a new toy iyswim? It reminds me of my dd last christmas (2.2 then) who ripped open every present saying 'don't like that, what's next' lol, thought i'd raised a selfish inconsiderate brat, but she loved all her presents eventually, she just liked opening them more!

hana · 07/09/2008 14:48

even if there is nothing of educational value in ITNG - it might be fun and enjoyable for your daughter when she watches! Not every minute of the day has to be filled up with educational activities

my nearly 2 year old loves the show - we have a few books. I"m not a big fan - but it's not such a big deal in our house

hana · 07/09/2008 14:48

even if there is nothing of educational value in ITNG - it might be fun and enjoyable for your daughter when she watches! Not every minute of the day has to be filled up with educational activities

my nearly 2 year old loves the show - we have a few books. I"m not a big fan - but it's not such a big deal in our house

pollyblue · 07/09/2008 14:48

Hmmm....I'm not sure that I'd expect a programme for 2 year olds to be 'educational' babymt, it's more about encouraging their imagination, recognition and basic grasp of language. Yes it's repetitious but that's exactly what babies like, familiar characters doing familiar things in a colourful, cheerful environment. So that's why my dd sees it occassionally, although it does my head clean in too

SmugColditz · 07/09/2008 14:50

She got plenty for her birthday that she will like.

She didn't get anything you like.

Newsflash - it's not your birthday.

You find ITNG 'idiotic' because you are (presumably) over the age of 16.

It's not aimed at you. I bet she'd find the news boring too.

mummyloveslucy · 07/09/2008 14:51

That's good babymt. I'm the same, I know quite a few who don't get their children to say thank you and it is bloody rude.
Our mothers obviously did teach us that. Sorry. xx

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