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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to give my dd "in the night garden" toys?

150 replies

babymt · 07/09/2008 14:16

My dd2 was 2 on friday and for her birthday has been given by 2 seperate people an In the Night Garden book and a dolly (Upsy Daisy). AIBU to not let her have them?

My reasons are that I A. Passionately hate the program as I just think its completely idiotic and B. Think that her having them toys makes it look like I endorce the show.

I know lots of you will let your children watch ITNG and they love it. But I don't like it and will under no circumstances let mine watch it. I'm not criticising those who let their kids watch it, its just something that bugs me.

Also AIBU to be annoyed that people seem to give my kids inappropriate toys i.e. books for 5+ year olds (including Enid Blytons for my 2 year old!) or baby books. Or toys will loads of little bits when my dd's a "put everything in her mouth"er.

I feel a bit bad for my dd2 coz she didn't get hardly anything she liked for her birthday. Which is also embarassing for me. You know when they do that rip the present open then throw it on the floor then display no interest when someone tries to show them it.

Ok I IABU a bit I think.

OP posts:
LittlePushka · 07/09/2008 23:48

Yes you are being unreasonable.

It is a very inoffesive programme with a very sweet social message for toddlers. It is inspired toddler TV when there is so much tripe kicking about!

foxytocin · 07/09/2008 23:52

Yes, yabu.

if you are still this uptight with the second child then I fear that you will have lots of battles with them when they get older and they don't have to accept your opinions and outlook. You are also teaching them how to form their own rigid opinions and outlook, many of which will clash will yours.

The toys are for them, not you. But i know you already know that.

Wezzle · 08/09/2008 00:05

YABU

Accept the presents graciously and let your DD play with them

I'm not a big fan of ITNG either...Upsy Daisy's hair freaks me out tbh, but that's a whole other thread

anyhoo, I let DCs watch it because they love it

just like I let them watch Barney

Your children are going to want to be involved in lots of different things as they grow up.

Are you going to stop them purely on the grounds that you don't like it?

SmallShips · 08/09/2008 00:11

Yes yabu.

They are not for you, i cant stand ITNG (its not made for us though), my DS on the other hand adores it and has lots of the cuddly toys, its the only programme he actually sits and watches. Unfortunately for me!

I think you need to get used to it, this will be one of the many programmes/toys etc you wont like but your DD will.

sandcastles · 08/09/2008 02:21

Well, I absolutley HATE Bratz! Don't let her watch the programmes, isn't allowed anything with them on it etc.

Dd & her friend (L) turned 5 in August & dd went to L's b'day party the day before hers. L was given a Bratz doll by A, who was also invited to dd's party.

L's mum NOT happy, me sweating at the thought that dd may get a Bratz doll the next day!

Adn she did! And she loved it! But the novelty has somewhat worn off with it. I must admit that I have thrown it in her toybox [at the bottom] hoping she will 'forget' about it. It has been dug out once or twice & I have to just suck it up, because dd is now of the ages where she is at school soon & I cannot dictate to her what she will/won't like. BUT she knows that I will not be buying her any of their stuff, she will have to save her pocket money for it. Thankfully, she still like My Little Pony & her 'Free Willy' whale better!

babymt · 08/09/2008 09:36

How is it ok for several of you to say you can't stand Barney or the Tweenies but its not ok for me to say I hate ITNG?

The creatures in it don't talk properly. They run around like idiots. Its all nonsensical. Yes its apparently got morals and a storyline but will a 2 year old get that? NO! They just like the silly talking weird animals running round like plonkers.

I don't see the point of it AT ALL. As for BAFTAS, awards, etc. Then I think all those people are bonkers!

Its a god awful program and I hate it. Full stop. I fully understand some people let their children watch it and thats up to you. Just like its up to me why I don't let mine watch it.

I am not going to read this thread anymore. I fully accept people telling me I am being unreasonable but I think its incredibly unkind to be called names and have people telling me I'm an overbearing controlling mother. FFS thats just totally unnecessary. Its a childrens tv program ppl. I'm not feeding her cocaine or refusing to let her eat vegetables. Get a life!

OP posts:
mamadiva · 08/09/2008 09:40

Erm... YABVU

In the night garden is not made for adults it was made for your child gv her the option. My DS loves it whereas I find it the most annoying program ever to be aired on tv

TheNinkynork · 08/09/2008 09:48

"The creatures in it don't talk properly. They run around like idiots"

Have you ever heard of the concept of relating to characters? The voiceover models correct speech but they give young children the confidence to have a go themselves.

You do have my sympathy in a way. The older baby / toddler stage must have been infuriating for you but as you say, that's the way you are and that isn't wrong in itself.

YABU to be annoyed r.e getting the present though.

Tittybangbang · 08/09/2008 09:50

"The creatures in it don't talk properly. They run around like idiots. Its all nonsensical"

You just don't get it. You don't understand the programme and that's why you get so wound up about it.

But your LO will, because children are creative and open minded.

Commentary on ITNG from Wikipedia:

The programme features colourful characters with unusual names: Upsy Daisy, Igglepiggle, Makka Pakka, the Pontipines, the Wottingers, the Haahoos and three Tombliboos who live in a garden. As well as trees and tropical birds (Tittifers), the garden features a large cast of other creatures for a programme aimed at toddlers. The characters mostly speak short, repetitive phrases in an invented language. The repetition of sound associated with the characters builds up familiarity amongst the target audience. The garden is a colourful, brightly-decorated environment reminiscent of a dream world. Co-creator Anne Wood said[2]:

"We wanted to explore the difference between being asleep and being awake from a child's point of view: the difference between closing your eyes and pretending to be asleep and closing your eyes and sleeping,"

Each episode starts with a child in bed (a different child appears in each episode), while the narrator introduces the episode. The scene cuts to Igglepiggle, in his boat, travelling to the Night Garden. The episodes end with one character receiving a bedtime story, which is generated by the "Magic Roundabout" style gazebo that sits at the centre of the Night Garden. This story is a summary of the plot of the episode. Sometimes the characters all sing and dance together under the gazebo.

Because Igglepiggle is a visitor to the garden, he does not go to sleep, and his goodbye sequence ("Igglepiggle's not in bed!" ? "Squeak!" ? "Don't worry, Igglepiggle, it's time to go.") rounds off the programme. The Night Garden retreats into the night sky and we see him asleep on his little boat as the programme's closing titles roll. As Igglepiggle is clearly asleep at the beginning and end of the programme it might be inferred that the entire narrative was his dream. Oddly, he takes down the sail of his boat at the beginning in order to travel, a rather Zen like gesture.

In The Night Garden bears a resemblance in title and theme to Maurice Sendak's In the Night Kitchen. They are both about a surreal dream-time world.

Unlike most television programmes aimed at toddlers, In The Night Garden is not primarily intended to be educational. Instead, it is intended to help children relax, and achieve calming relationships with parents. Co-creator Anne Wood stated "We became very aware of the anxiety surrounding the care of young children which manifested itself in all kind of directions ? but the one big subject that came up again and again was bedtime. It's the classic time for tension between children who want to stay up and parents who want them to go to bed... so this is a programme about calming things down whereas most children's TV is about gee-ing everything up!" [2]

TheNinkynork · 08/09/2008 09:51

Really should have name-changed for this

MadameCastafiore · 08/09/2008 09:53

Isn't ITNG done by the teletubbies lot who researched all kinds of stuff to make sure that the programme was good for kids - it wasn't just 4 loonis running around saying things in a stupid voice - I thought they did reseacrh to make it educational?

peacelily · 08/09/2008 09:56

YAB COMPLETELY U.

Perspective!!!!

Why such vitriol against something as innocent as ITNG??? maybe you need to discuss your issues with it with a professional.....

Babies/toddlers like it because of the sounds, colours, repetition and music. It's been diveloped in collaboration with speech therapists and child psychologists (like the teletubbies) are these people bonkers too? Lets hope you never need their input if so. There was an interesting article about its' development in either the Independent or the Observer last year, can't remember which maybe someone has the link.

My dd (2) loves it, as for presents she's hardly EVER intersted in them immediatle, they have to be in her toy corner for a while for her to get used to them then she warms to them gradually.

She LOVES her ITNG garden pyjamas though! helps with bedtime!

I personally am a fan of the show and also a fan of receiving gifts with grace and acceptance and teaching my dd to do the same.

Playmobil · 08/09/2008 09:57

this has been posted on mumsnet before but see here www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YkiDAspMDA NOT for kids though

CatIsSleepy · 08/09/2008 09:58

'The creatures in it don't talk properly. They run around like idiots. Its all nonsensical. Yes its apparently got morals and a storyline but will a 2 year old get that? NO! They just like the silly talking weird animals running round like plonkers.'

LOLOLOLOL
welcome to children's TV
actually i think ITNG is very sweet and inoffensive and gawd help me but dd loves Iggle Piggle despite only having seen the programme about 5 times...it really made an impression on her!
your child will get given lots of plastic tat in her lifetime, best just grin and bear it, get rid of the worst if you really must...
the worst thing is...children love dreadful plastic tat! they have no taste at all

peacelily · 08/09/2008 10:02

Also agree with Tittybangbangs bit from Wikipedia about the chill factor of the programme.

Soothes things right down after a frenetic day.

Was gutted when it went off the bedtime hour through summer!! Pleased it's back now..

BalloonSlayer · 08/09/2008 10:02

PMSL . . .

I refused to even let my kids ride on the Barney toy in the leisure centre foyer as I refused to give even £1 to the Barney Corporation.

So I do sympathise, although I like ITNG.

Wait till DD is a bit older and you've sat through Blue's Clues a few hundred times. After that, ITNG will seem like Newsnight, mark my words.

cory · 08/09/2008 10:07

As for Enid Blyton, what's wrong with giving a 2 yo books suitable for a 5yo btw? Isn't she planning on growing? She will be 5 before you know it! Much better to buy her something she can grow into than the other way round. I bought my ds a complete set of Winnie-the-Pooh for his christening, and IMO those books really come into their own when you're about 8 (or 18).

Can' say I am particularly fond of Blyton myself and I won't be spending my cash on buying her books for my children- doesn't mean they are not allowed to develop their own tastes.

Dc's understand perfectly the difference between Stuff Endorsed by Mummy and Daddy (i.e. stuff we would buy ourselves), Stuff Allowed by Mummy and Daddy (don't like it but can't see anything dangerous or morally wrong about it) and Stuff Not Allowed At All. If you try to move everything in category B into category C, you risk ending up with a very large selection of Not Allowed items- with the consequent risk of your children rebelling.

wuzzlefraggle · 08/09/2008 10:11

LOL! my god!

Yes YABU!

Let her have the toy if she likes it -whats the harm?? ITNG is educational, colourful, different and dd likes it so I let her watch it if she wants.

Makka Pakka is a dude IMHO

foxytocin · 08/09/2008 10:11

"How is it ok for several of you to say you can't stand Barney or the Tweenies but its not ok for me to say I hate ITNG?"

Did someone actually say that it is not OK for you to hate ITNG? Did not see that. I thought they said It is unreasonable for you to hate it so much and ban your kids from enjoying the presents they got because they are based on ITNG. Different things.

T"he creatures in it don't talk properly. They run around like idiots. Its all nonsensical. Yes its apparently got morals and a storyline but will a 2 year old get that? NO!"

How are you sure a 2yo does not 'get it'. They get somethings and over time they get more and more and as a parent it is not easy to see how and when and what they pick up until we get a lightbulb moment and realise they have been learning incrementally for a long time. Cut your kids (and yourself) some slack.

foxytocin · 08/09/2008 10:12

Makka Pakka has attachment issues imo. He cuddles a rock to bed.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 08/09/2008 10:16

Ealier there was a comment about her not reading Enid Blyton for another 10 years (so when she is 12). No 12 year old is going to be seen dead reading Enid Blyton. It will be something hideous like High School musical.

You could read a 2 year old some Enid Blyton stories and by the time she's 5 or 6 she may well be able to manage some herself. I think Enid Blyton is a good choice from someone unsure of what she might have already.

Interesting those of you who have mentioned the scale thing. Severely autistic ds1(who is 9) was completely fascinated with ITNG for quite a while and he used to sit laughing when it was on. I never knew why he was laughing but I bet that was why (he is very into scales, and aspect and perspective).

HappyMummyOfOne · 08/09/2008 10:23

"receiving gifts with grace and acceptance and teaching my dd to do the same" Well said peacelily.

I agree, a two year old wouldnt have that much of a preference to new toys - some they will love instantly for the colours, recognition etc - some that become more interesting in time. I think it was actually you that didnt like the presents and not your daughter.

As for "I only let them watch what I think is appropriate and whats not too annoying for me. Why should my life be turned upside down because of my child?" - I think thats an awful comment to make. A child is supposed to bring joy to your life yet you make it sound like a life sentance. I feel quite sorry for her.

Whilst I agree that TV should be age appropriate, I also believe in letting children develop their own likes and dislikes. I am not keen on some shows but dont expect DS to share my tastes, he is his own separate person.

Gateau · 08/09/2008 10:47

YABVU.
It's not about you; it's about your child and what she enjoys.
When she's at school, is she goingto be left out of all the chat because whe's not allowed to watch what's 'in' at the moment.
And so bloody waht if it's not ediucational? She's a toddler for goodness sake! Let her have some fun and fluffiness.

Gateau · 08/09/2008 10:48

Excuse typos.

jumpingbeans · 08/09/2008 10:59

have i got this right, you are upset because your dd got presents you did not like? and you seem okay with the fact she has no graitude for gifts other people have bought for her, nice