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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked and dismayed that DS has been invited to a joint party.

421 replies

SparklyDiscoGirl · 03/09/2008 13:23

This party is going to be in a soft-play centre and it is a joint party between 4 of the boys in his class.

AIBU to think that this is a total cop-out on behalf of the parents involved?

DS is friends with all 4 of the boys and so it will be impossible to do anything excpet buy a present each for all 4 boys.

The parents who are planning this party clearly realise that this will be the predicament for all of the parents of invited children and yet are going ahead with this ludicrous plan regardless.

AIBU to think this is just taking the whole joint party thing waaay too far?

OP posts:
RubyRioja · 03/09/2008 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lulumama · 03/09/2008 13:24

if he would have been invited to all four parties seperately you would have had to buy 4 gifts anyway

not a cop out, a way of sharing the costs

if you are so very angry about it, then don't let DS go

or just buy a gift for the child he is most friendly with

SugaryBits · 03/09/2008 13:25

Maybe I'm missing the point but if they had a party each and your DS was invited to all of them surely you would be buying 4 presents anyway?

geekgirl · 03/09/2008 13:25

what's the problem? Would you rather spend four separate weekend afternoons in a soft play centre ? I think it sounds like a very sensible thing to do.
If they had their parties separately you'd still have to buy 4 presents.

YABU.

sagacious · 03/09/2008 13:25

Shocked and dismayed?
Erm
Its a party
If your ds is friends with all 4 of them he probably would have had 4 party invites
ergo you would have been buying 4 presents anyway.

Think of it as a time saving exercise...

lulumama · 03/09/2008 13:25

YABVVVVVU to be 'shocked; and 'dismayed' about a party invite

BroccoliSpears · 03/09/2008 13:26

Are you cross because you feel you have to spend money on four presents but the parents of the boys haven't had to spend as much money as they would have done because they're sharing the party?

laundrylover · 03/09/2008 13:26

Can you not just get them a small gift each? I often pick up bits and have a hoard to go at. 30p cards from Tesco and you're away!!

Fimbo · 03/09/2008 13:26

If there would have been 4 separate parties anyway it is a good idea.

Don't you hate weekends when they are all taken up by parties? I do

FluffyMummy123 · 03/09/2008 13:26

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 03/09/2008 13:27

dont be so mean

would you be so bothered if they had individual parties? youd still have to buy 4 presents

i htink joint parties are a great idea - parties can be expensive so it means parents can share the cost

maybe you should try it sometime.

morningpaper · 03/09/2008 13:27

lol

Agree, I'd much rather go to ONE soft-play party than FOUR - I never appreciate the architectural surroundings ....

Uranus · 03/09/2008 13:27

I thought you meant a party where they were going to be smoking joints

AvenaLife · 03/09/2008 13:27

A party for 2 siblings isn't too bad but 4 children!

I don't think you are being unreasonable. They shouldn't expect parents to shell out for 4 presents. I'd go to a discout store and get them something cheap. Poor children though, are they expected to share a cake? How are they going to blow that out? Take turns?

Or you could all put the money together and get them a joint present each.

sagacious · 03/09/2008 13:27

If it were a joint doobie party I would have been shocked

Original poster
SparklyDiscoGirl · 03/09/2008 13:28

I don't get it.

If they had 4 separate parties, I would have bought 4 separate gifts.

And I would have been more than happy with that as DS would have been going to 4 parties for that. DS enjoys parties. It is not a problem for me to take him to parties.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 03/09/2008 13:28

hey shouldn't expect parents to shell out for 4 presents

Is that how you feel when you host parties? You EXPECT attendees to bring a carefully thought-out present?!

I really don't give a toss who brings presents and who doesn't

Don't you lot have Poundland?

nailpolish · 03/09/2008 13:28

avenalife some of us cannot afford massive parties

sharing the cost is a good idea

FluffyMummy123 · 03/09/2008 13:28

Message withdrawn

Niecie · 03/09/2008 13:28

Shocked and dismayed is a bit of an over reaction.

As lulu says if your DS went to 4 parties you would still have to buy 4 presents and would have to give up four different afternoons for the parties - I think you got off lightly really.

You don't have to spend a fortune and you could always look for a 'buy one, get one free' deal for the presents which would save some money.

mustrunmore · 03/09/2008 13:28

I'm guessing she means she might not have been invited to all 4 if they were seperaate parties? But really, you need only spend a few pounds per pressie, so it wont cost too much more than if you were paying for soft play and lunch anyway. Asda and Tescos are selling all the outdoor toys off really cheap at the moment, or get books from Redhouse or Book People. Peole dont really mind what you buy, as there's so much plastic tat given on birthdays anyway.

morningpaper · 03/09/2008 13:29

lol sagacious I must admit when I read the title I thought it was about a teenage drug party

geekgirl · 03/09/2008 13:29

you really don't need to spend much on presents, no one actually gives a shit.
Get some books on special offer or a pack of pencils and a colouring pad or whatever.

nailpolish · 03/09/2008 13:29

so you expect a party in return for each of your presents?

are you serious?

random · 03/09/2008 13:29

I did wonder if they were all going to be smoking joints