Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked and dismayed that DS has been invited to a joint party.

421 replies

SparklyDiscoGirl · 03/09/2008 13:23

This party is going to be in a soft-play centre and it is a joint party between 4 of the boys in his class.

AIBU to think that this is a total cop-out on behalf of the parents involved?

DS is friends with all 4 of the boys and so it will be impossible to do anything excpet buy a present each for all 4 boys.

The parents who are planning this party clearly realise that this will be the predicament for all of the parents of invited children and yet are going ahead with this ludicrous plan regardless.

AIBU to think this is just taking the whole joint party thing waaay too far?

OP posts:
morningpaper · 03/09/2008 13:44

You don't normally have to pay if they are holding a proper party - if they are providing food then their entry will be included. Unless it says 'bring 1.50 entry' on the invite.

But really, you are quite, quite bonkers and should be grateful that you and your children have friends who want them to come to their parties.

You seem like a glass half empty sort of gal...

mustrunmore · 03/09/2008 13:44

that your soft play is only £1.50! They are laying on some food I assume?

almostblue · 03/09/2008 13:45

What makes you think they'll be 'expecting' four presents?

Maybe they're actually just trying to give their kids a good time in a way they can afford... and maybe they're not as materialistic as you are!

NorbertDentressangle · 03/09/2008 13:45

DD went to a joint party for 4 children last year (twin boys and 2 girls, all from the same class) -on the invitation it suggested that they didn't expect everyone to buy presents but, if you wanted to, that you buy 1 girls and 1 boys present not 4.

I thought this was a good idea as it avoided any doubt or uncertainty as to what was expected

JellySnakes · 03/09/2008 13:46

Wow, only £1.50 per party child. I wish ds's party only cost me that much! There is nowhere near me that would get anywhere close to that price.
I think most soft play type places are open to the general public as well as having a party going on. That has always been the case IME.

Sawyer64 · 03/09/2008 13:46

Maybe your DC was invited by the 4 boys as he is friends with all of them,but maybe some others are only invited by 1 or 2 of the boys,and then would only have to buy for the boys that have invited them.

Wouldn't be a problem IMO as the presents will be put on a table or in a bag,probably not given directly to the child as they will be playing,so no-one would feel left out.

Good idea IMO,save loads of money.

morningpaper · 03/09/2008 13:46

I would like to say that I don't actually give marbles

although my dd's would LOVE a bag of marbles...

In my defence my last birthday gift was a magnetic playmobile pirate's set retailing at 5.95

AvenaLife · 03/09/2008 13:46

You normally don't have to pay if your child attends a party in a soft play centre, the parents who are paying for the party do this, it's included in the cost. You may have to pay for a sibling that is not invited though.

Neeerly3 · 03/09/2008 13:46

i did a joint party for my dt's and a friends LO who was born on same day. We share a lot of the same friends so we split the cost of the soft play. We not made of money, so this made it easier for us. I did invites from all three boys, but only the people that knew all three bought presents for all three - friends of the other boy who didn't know us just bought cards tightarses and everyone had a great time.

brimfull · 03/09/2008 13:47

he was fine with it
she is a good friend of mine
her son has waaaay too many toys that he never plays with.

he was pleased to be having a big party in the garden so didn't moan about the no presents
also it was on his actual birthday so he had gifts from family etc anywya

overthemill · 03/09/2008 13:48

nialpolish:'giving money to a samall child is ridiculous, greedy and lazy ' i do hope you don't mean me!! we give money to a collection and someone buys a gift with it!!!

and i do know parents who 'ask' for £3 instead of pressie and the kid gets it. then they can go and choose something - it teaches them the value of money and is really good fun - they get control
what is wrong with that?

FluffyMummy123 · 03/09/2008 13:48

Message withdrawn

StarlightMcKenzie · 03/09/2008 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mustrunmore · 03/09/2008 13:49

Actually, ds1 had a joint soft play with a nursery friend last year. Because we were inviting the same kids anyway, plus one or two extras. We didi it in school hours before nursery started which saved a packet, but it was still very expensive even done jointly. My Mumpaid. Unfortunately its set a precedent and he wants it this year too

morningpaper · 03/09/2008 13:49

I haev started the rule that you can only invite one person for each year of your life

it is going well

elliott · 03/09/2008 13:49

OK, so why don't you get together with a few of the other parents (say 3 others) and each buy one nice big present from the four of you? Or, you could do a big bag of cheapie presents for each boy?

Don't really get the tone of moral outrage about this though. its a party ffs! you sound as though you think they are cheating you out of something!

brimfull · 03/09/2008 13:49

go hate all this prty crap

ds b'day soon

he has to invite some boys becasue it would be too embarassing not to

wannaBe · 03/09/2008 13:50

is this a wind up?

Firstly, if the parents were having individual parties for each child theyy would be paying about £6.50 per child, not £1.50 as you seem to think. so if they're inviding 20 children that's a bloody lot of money before you even take into account party bags.

Secondly, do you believe in the concept of give to receive?

mustrunmore · 03/09/2008 13:51

Mp, I'm loving that idea!! We have a similar rule for pick n mix, so ds1 is allowed 4 sweets a time

jura · 03/09/2008 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Remotew · 03/09/2008 13:54

One party, one prezzie. Four parties four prezzies.

Or give them something very inexpensive each. Sounds like a cop out to me. Had invites to join parties before, the invites came from one and they got the present.

overthemill · 03/09/2008 13:54

KVC: £50 for 4 pressies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow thank god we do £3 p child collections. i recently had to get 2 pressies for girls outside this group and ended up buying special offer wall lights in ikea (you know those star or moon shape ones) and they loved those - £4.99 each, ouch!

the point is they have fun celebrating with their mates, isn't it?

mrsruffallo · 03/09/2008 13:54

I think it is obvious that they have invited a certain amount of friends each therefore they will be recieving an equal amount of presents if each invitee only brings a gift for the child the invitation is from.

Unless all four names were on the invitation I wouldn't bother buying all four of them gifts
I think you need to RELAX

elliott · 03/09/2008 13:55

I think totally impractical to divide the invites four ways in this case.
Though when ds1 and ds2 have had joint parties I have tended to send the invites just from one of them (apart from sibling pairs) because I didn't want people to feel obliged to buy two presents.
I guess the parents may have thought about the implications but decided that the other parents are grown up enough to make their own decisions about bringing or not bringing presents! If I was on the receiving end, I would either to the combined-bag-of-little-presents idea or just get small things for each of them.

cupsoftea · 03/09/2008 13:55

If you invite the 4 friends then they each bring a pressie for your ds birthday party - so you should give a gift for each child. Something small - there's loads of great inexpensive toys/books/ craft to choose from

Swipe left for the next trending thread