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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked and dismayed that DS has been invited to a joint party.

421 replies

SparklyDiscoGirl · 03/09/2008 13:23

This party is going to be in a soft-play centre and it is a joint party between 4 of the boys in his class.

AIBU to think that this is a total cop-out on behalf of the parents involved?

DS is friends with all 4 of the boys and so it will be impossible to do anything excpet buy a present each for all 4 boys.

The parents who are planning this party clearly realise that this will be the predicament for all of the parents of invited children and yet are going ahead with this ludicrous plan regardless.

AIBU to think this is just taking the whole joint party thing waaay too far?

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 03/09/2008 13:39

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FluffyMummy123 · 03/09/2008 13:39

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StarlightMcKenzie · 03/09/2008 13:40

This reply has been deleted

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brimfull · 03/09/2008 13:40

I would feel guilty only spending 49p

almostblue · 03/09/2008 13:40

Can someone please lend me their copy of The Big Book of Etiquette For Children's Parties?

I used mine to beat an ungrateful guest around the head, and I can no longer read the bit about relative exchange rates for gifts/invitaions...

frumpygrumpy · 03/09/2008 13:40

The last joint party my DD1 went to there was a little note with the invite that said only take one present and they would be shared between them..........no note?

nailpolish · 03/09/2008 13:40

go to the poundshop

or hawkins bazaar. they have a pocket money stand

mrsruffallo · 03/09/2008 13:41

Yes, irresponsible as well as mean eh?

nailpolish · 03/09/2008 13:41

yes i know mine are little

maybe when they are older they will want money but i would nt guve moeny to any of the parties they go to jst now

brimfull · 03/09/2008 13:41

ds went to pary last weekend

no presents please on invite

Anchovy · 03/09/2008 13:41

I have a good solution.

Two boys in DDs class had a joint party and the invitation (or email with it from the parents) said, just bring a present for one child, let us know what it is/put a sticker on it (4th birthday so children couldn't read) and we will divvy them out between them. (The letting them know what it was was to ensure someone didn't get three bionicles or whatever).

Easy, no?

catsmother · 03/09/2008 13:41

I also don't understand why you should be shocked and dismayed ?

As many others have pointed out, if there'd been 4 separate parties, you'd have bought 4 separate presents then presumably, as you say your son is good friends with each of these boys.

Therefore, I can only assume you feel aggrieved because you're not getting 4 parties in return for each of the presents ??

The thing is, it's an inescapable fact, and especially in these times, that some people simply can't afford to host a party for their kids at all ..... yet littlies don't really understand this and parents feel rotten for not giving them one. I think it's a good idea to combine forces if you can to get over that problem. Also, if each kid has a birthday close to one another, you then get the logistical nightmare of trying to arrange times and dates which don't clash so that one or more poor child only gets a couple of guests at their party.

The cost of a present is, of course, entirely up to you ..... but I base this on what I can afford at the time, and what I personally consider to be a sensible sum for a small child. I don't make allowances for the "quality" or otherwise of said party in deciding how much to spend.

chutneymary · 03/09/2008 13:42

Woollies also a great source of cheap presents. They have a lot of stuff for around the £1.50 mark (Pens, paints, colouring books).

Tesco value cards good, as no one really looks at the card that much. Or make your own.

The book people often do sets of 4-5 books for just over a fiver.

Only one afternoon of misery for the parent to act as taxi service. Other weekends freed up for doing family things or seeing people you actually like.

All the class probably invited so DCs see all their friends and have a great time.

What's not to like?

Original poster
SparklyDiscoGirl · 03/09/2008 13:42

I should also point out that the soft play center will not be closed for this party. Still open to the public, so the parents of the party people pay £1.50 each per invited child and expect each invited child to bring 4 presents.

Call me materialistic if you want, but I would never have the nerve to do that.

(Okay - shocked and dismayed is probably taking it a bit far, but really - whatever happened to social etiquette?!?!)

OP posts:
nailpolish · 03/09/2008 13:42

ggirl

how old was the child?

mrsruffallo · 03/09/2008 13:42

Money is quite impersonal and thoughtless but as long as its notes I don't mind

nailpolish · 03/09/2008 13:43

as ive said before, maybe you shouldnt bother going

BecauseImWorthIt · 03/09/2008 13:43

I really don't get what your problem is here.

Your DS knows all 4 boys, so presumably he would be invited to all 4 parties, if they were to be held separately. So you would have had to buy 4 presents.

If they're having a joint party, presumably they all have birthdays close to one another, so you would have had to buy 4 presents close together.

What's the problem? Unless you object to other parents saving money by sharing a party - in which case this about envy and jealousy.

You ABVVU.

As others have pointed out, you can buy presents very cheaply in any case.

JellySnakes · 03/09/2008 13:43

I would be only too happy to be in this situation. As someone else said, 1 party in soft play is far far better than 4 of the ruddy things!! I take ds to them, but I can think of better things to do on a Saturday afternoon tbh!

Ledodgy · 03/09/2008 13:43

You're materialistic.

brimfull · 03/09/2008 13:43

6

WingsofaAngel · 03/09/2008 13:43

So will you be asking for four party bags too ?

Go to a Pound shop and buy them all a gift. Your ds will love the party.

YABU

tiredemma · 03/09/2008 13:44

I hate kids parties. They are the work of the devil.

And those bags of crap at the end.....

mrsruffallo · 03/09/2008 13:44

wrap up 4 bags of marbles and don't go in with your child

nailpolish · 03/09/2008 13:44

ggirl i wonder how the paretns explained that one

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