to think it's pathetic, the way people make out you can't love your child inlaws as much as your own children

[tigergirl]

just been reading a thread where they are saying that you love or worry about your own dc's more than your dil/sil.
surely it depends on your relationship with them.
what is it with some folk trying to win mother of the year award or something.

well that is where you are wrong then.
i take it you don't have a dil?

you'll learn one day

Normal and natural, tigergirl, like Tutter said. I would NEVER expect MIL to love me like she does her own daughter. How can she??? She didn't give birth to me or breastfeed me or kiss my knees when I fell over or help me get over my first boyfriend ... etc etc etc ...
I don't love my MIL like I love my mother [horrified at the thought emoticon]. In fact, I don't love my MIL at all (but that's another thread). Do you?

[complete incomprehension]

Well it's not is it tigersgirl?

It's not normal, or natural to love some woman that your DS has fallen in love with and you've known a couple of years the same as the daughter you have raised from birth.

i very much doubt it, tigergirl

i fully expect to be a nosy, interfering, protective mil

my future dils (should the dsses marry) will probably loathe me

fil once suggested i might like to call mil "mum"

well when you have a dil and dd then maybe you will see.

it's lovely that you clearly love your dil

but don't expect hordes of us to share your views/feelings

i won't be having a dd

so will not find out, sorry

one day you might realise what tg was talking about

are you talking about yourself in the third person?

weird...

What about my MiL then tigersgirl?
She has two sons, I'm sure should BiL ever marry she'll love her other DiL the same as me, eventually (but even then it will be different for a while because we already have an established relationship.) Are you saying she should love me the same as she loves her sons? Or is it just daughters(in law)?

I think we are prepared to accept that you may love your fairly recently acquired DIL as much as you love your DD however weird we find it BUT consensus seems to be YABU when you describe the majority situation "pathetic".

Sorry but YABU.

if i suggested to either of my sils i loved them like i love ds or even i suspect if i declared i loved them at all they would freak lol

I love my kids more than you!

There I said it - why would anyone think that this would not be the cae?

you don't mc
i just love dil as much, doesn't mean i love dd any less

ok i am curious now tigergirl

how long have you known your dil and how old is she you etc

do you come from a family where it is typical to form close bonds live as a close extended family near/with each other

tigergirl - your poor DD. Do you realise you are being extremely unfair to your own child?

My MIL doesn't love me as much as she loves her daughters, should I be offended and upset?

In actual fact my dad doesn't love me as much as he loves his sons but I consider that to be a natural consequence of him having bought them up their whole lives and not seeing me for several years. It's not right, not nice, but fairly natural I think.

To add a completely new spin on the thread do grandparents love their grandchildren more than their children? I certainly feel that atm my mum places DD as a higher priority than me (she certainly didn't come and visit me as often before having DD, and she sometimes rings up just to speak to DD. Who is 14mo ). Is that normal? Anyone else find the same? Or is it just a sense of protectiveness over a young child that you no longer feel for your adult children?

why is that being unfair to my dd?
i still love my dd.

Pathetic is a strong word to use. Why didn't you just post on the thread that you are commenting on?

Am a bit bamboozled by attempts to measure quantities of love for DDs and DILs, etc, but I think the issue of love for GC is interesting.

I always had a very good relationship with my MIL (less so nowadays, but that's a separate issue), and found that I had much more in common with MIL than with my own mother. She also acted like she had more in common with me than with her own DD. When I had my own DD1, MIL was thrilled with her - first GC - and that was lovely. But one day not long after DD1 was born, I overhead MIL's own mother (still with me?) saying to her 'DD1 is lovely, but if you think you love her, just imagine how you'll feel when J (my SIL) has a baby'. MIL got all emotional and agreed enthusiastically that she couldn't wait for her own DD to have a baby, and how amazing that would be. I've been a bit distrustful of her love for my DDs and me ever since.

Your own children have every right to expect that you will love them more than your children-in-law and, should conflict arise, that you will be on their side.

anna you are very very rude to say poor dd.

why should they expect that.
its not saying i love them less is it