Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at strangers touching my children in their buggy?

137 replies

penona · 19/08/2008 18:42

A man literally stopped me in the street today, blocked my path, and then peered into the buggy and we went through the usual 'Are they twins?' (yes) 'Two boys?' (No the one in pink is a girl...) 'Are they identical?' (no, it's a boy and a girl).... and then he leaned in and STROKED my daughters face and started to stroke my sons foot! All the while cooing aren't they lovely etc etc. I just stared in shock and did not know what to do.

In the end my DD screamed so loudly he backed off apologising.

What is the etiquette here? Lean over and yank at his moustache and say 'Oh how bristly' or something? Ask him politely not too touch them please? I couldn't very well run away with a double buggy in tow.

Or was he just being friendly and I am being a bit precious? (This happens quite often to me so I should learn to deal with it).

Please tell me if IABU!!!!

OP posts:
FAQ · 19/08/2008 18:44

Well I think YABU - that sort of thing has never bothered me.........but I think you'll find a large % of MNers see it differently

tengreenbottles · 19/08/2008 18:47

YABU as you have obviousley been blessed with gorgeous angelic and irresistable offspring ! thank the gods that people arnt pointing and laughing at your infants for their remarkable likeness to the big friendly giant

lardybump · 19/08/2008 18:47

I dont like it either as you dont know where they have been .

JuneBugJen · 19/08/2008 18:49

you are being YABU I think. How lovely for someone to want to reach out to them.

Often all we get people grimace at us as pram in the way. Who knows, maybe this man is lonely and this is the first human contact he has had in months?

Babies are the most cuddlable things ever! Yes, perhaps people should ask 1st, but he touched a foot and a cheek? Surely not crime of the century.
I'm sure others will tell me I am wrong on this but just think of all the people who would love to cuddle a child or touch one on the face but are too scared incase they are labled a paedophile etc. It makes me feel a bit sad that adults and children are being segregated in this way.

megglevache · 19/08/2008 18:49

I think I must be a utter freak I loved this when mine were young. DD still gets it and I think it's nice for her to know that there is warmth and kindness from other people other than family.

Crikey abroad she would get whisked form my arms and kissed to death, she used to have to come uo for air and loved it.

Did he have snot streaming from his whiskers or something?

I think you probably have very beautiful children and need to get used to the attention

TheHedgeWitch · 19/08/2008 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bubblagirl · 19/08/2008 18:50

to be honest i was proud people wanted to look at my beautiful baby even now he is 3.2 with amazing eyes he still attracts attention

but i kind of understand why you may not like it but these people mean no harm and older generation used to always freely be able to fuss chldren without it being annoying

and i loved it i loved the fact my ds got the attention made me proud

megglevache · 19/08/2008 18:56

bubb he is your double.

mrsruffallo · 19/08/2008 19:04

YABU
What's wrong with touching their faces?

warthog · 19/08/2008 19:08

yanbu. i've had this with my dd when we went to japan. people were constantly touching her and she began to get freaked out. (it's the blond hair.) eventually i'd move her away so they couldn't touch - quite rude, but got the message across.

but then again, i'm in the camp that hates people touching my bump when pg. which i am. 40 + 2 and counting.

halogen · 19/08/2008 19:09

I don't think YABU at all. They're still people even if they are only little. I wouldn't like it if someone I didn't know stroked my face or foot so why should they?

Alambil · 19/08/2008 19:11

I think YABU - did they come to any harm? Did he hurt/poison/damage them?

I doubt it - stop being so precious and let other people get joy and happiness out of seeing your kids; it was quite probably the first conversation he'd had in a week and he took the time to compliment you on your children. I think that is lovely.

brimfull · 19/08/2008 19:11

yabu and waaaay too precious

what harm does touching your child do?

nickytwotimes · 19/08/2008 19:13

Oh God, this pisses me off too.
I wouldn't say I would stare in shock, but yes, it is annoying

nickytwotimes · 19/08/2008 19:15

Oh, and as for 'what harm does it do', well, you never know where some people's hands have been - yuk!
And it's just bloody rude.

halogen · 19/08/2008 19:19

It only does harm if the child doesn't like it, IMO. And the OP's daughter screamed which seems like a pretty clear expression of the fact that she didn't like it. Why should a little baby have to have her space invaded by a stranger just because that stranger isn't capable of thinking about whether the baby should actually like it? I'm delighted that my daughter can now talk and she shouts 'Stop! No! Lady, go away!' when strangers touch her so they get the idea pretty fast. She used to get poked by all kinds of people and it was clear she didn't like it but they just wouldn't back off. She's very sociable and friendly with people she knows, btw, just not keen on strangers. And why should she be?

halogen · 19/08/2008 19:19

I meant to say WOULD actually like it.

crokky · 19/08/2008 19:21

YANBU! Nobody has any business touching your children unless you have allowed it. There seems to be this trendy thing that you are a better and relaxed mum if you are happy for people to touch your children. Well, I'm not ashamed to admit it makes me really annoyed when strangers touch my children.

Conversation yes, touching no.

This annoys/upsets a very significant number of mothers so knowing this, it is very rude for a stranger to touch someone else's child.

Alambil · 19/08/2008 19:22

a few germs never killed anyone - if you're that paranoid, take antiseptic wipes with you!

Seriously; do people really begrudge an old person gleaning a small amount of joy from seeing / stroking the face of a baby?

What a sad, sad world in which we live.

crazymummy84 · 19/08/2008 19:22

YANBU. When I had dd this used to drive me mad. I lived in a small town and I used to get stopped about 10 times everytime I went out, (and I swear I'm not exaggerating) people would litterally block my path as I was walking to coo over her. I can understand if you are say, sitting on a bench but it's so bllody rude to stop you, as if just becaus eI just had a baby I didnt have things to do, places to be.

Alambil · 19/08/2008 19:23

a few germs never killed anyone - if you're that paranoid, take antiseptic wipes with you!

Seriously; do people really begrudge an old person gleaning a small amount of joy from seeing / stroking the face of a baby?

What a sad, sad world in which we live.

chapstickchick · 19/08/2008 19:23

my ds1 whos 15 [yikes where did that time go?] is often getting patted on the head and kissed on the cheek even nowadays lol

AbbaFan · 19/08/2008 19:24

OMG - I can't believe how many people think this is ok

People stopping you and saying how cute your kids are etc - fine

People stopping and putting their hands on your childs face - not fine - get away from my kids you fucking loon!!!!

crazymummy84 · 19/08/2008 19:25

Oh and by the way I am pregnant now and when I have my baby I vow I'm not going to hold my tongue or stay still for them this time. BABY COOERS, BEWARE, MWAHAHA [devil emoticon]

scanner · 19/08/2008 19:26

PFB

Swipe left for the next trending thread