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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to keep a dvd that my 3 year old accidently stole from a supermarket today?

326 replies

goodomen · 12/08/2008 20:25

I was shopping at a major supermarket today and had agreed to let dd have a dvd for 5.99. She was holding it in the trolley.

Basically I forgot to give to the check out person to swipe so we didn't pay for it.
I only realised this after I had strapped my other 2 children in to the car and was lifting dd out of the trolley and saw it on her knee.
I didn't want to have to go all the way back in.
I feel a bit guilty, but then again I must have spent thousands of pounds at this shop over the years.

What do you think. AIBU to keep it? Is it stealing? Do I worry too much?

OP posts:
LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 22:09

That's why i wouldn't have a go at OP because of the double standards i hold. Just wondered if any of the OP bashers would attempt to shove the mars bar back in the machine . Or hand it in at customer service desk of said vending machine!

paolosgirl · 12/08/2008 22:09

Good point LittleMiss.

If you were serious about not stealing from any company, you would return the Mars Bar to the vending company surely?

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 22:10

So are you saying you'd hand it in?

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 22:10

Or keep it?

paolosgirl · 12/08/2008 22:11

Intention is to deprive Sidge because you knew you'd only paid for 1 Mars - same as if you bought one item from Tesco, got it out to the car and realised there were 2 stuck together

UniversallyChallenged · 12/08/2008 22:15

Oh my - I have just remembered this happened to me with my 3 yr old dd.Had completely forgotten. Got her out of her buggy and she had been sitting on a pair of barbie socks (right size too!) from Woolies kept meaning to take them back
Should i take them backnow - if i can find them?

BTW she's 9 years old now

Sidge · 12/08/2008 22:16

But if you paid only expecting one Mars Bar and two fell out you didn't intend to deprive at the point of making the transaction? Is it not the intent that is the theft, and not the resulting haul?

(I'm just idly speculating by the way, I know this has nothing to do with the OP!)

Reginaphilangy · 12/08/2008 22:16

I can't quite believe all the jusifying going on here

Ok, so its not the crime of the century, but it IS stealing! OP's dc took the dvd - that is not stealing because OP's child did not have the intent to do so, however, OP took it home knowing that they hadn't paid for it. That is stealing!

...and what's more is that OP knows its stealing and wrong or she wouldn't have felt guilty about it in the first place!

Reginaphilangy · 12/08/2008 22:17

Not having a go btw goodomen. Just calling a spade a spade ...

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 12/08/2008 22:18

Ignoring the ridiculous Mars Bar analogy. I seriously concerned about the amount of people on here who can not see how wrong this was.

blueskythinker · 12/08/2008 22:19

Has happened to me - most recently my 15month swiped an odd shoe from Clarkes shoe shop - I don't see what the problem is - I cheerily went back with the shoe and handed it back. No big deal.

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 22:23

Sidge- the fact that two came out isn't theft. But keeping the one that wasn't paid for is. It's like getting two items stuck together like paolo said. You still haven't said whether you would keep it or hand it back?

DillyTanty · 12/08/2008 22:24

i am concerned at how pompous some people are on here... makes me ashamed to be an MNer etc.

Dynamicnanny · 12/08/2008 22:26

A friends child finds and takes £50 of the side at your house, just looking/playing with it, and goes home your friend realises and doesn't give it back - that's not stealing thats being entrepeneurial is it?

However it is justified it is still stealing, and I am sure that when you daughter steals anything later in life (not saying this will lead to it - some children just go through a stage) and says to you have you never stolen anything? you won't be able to hold the moral high ground.

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 12/08/2008 22:26

There is a world of difference between a machine chucking out an extra Mars Bar, and conciously leaving the car park of a supermarket with at £6.00 DVD.

FWIW

The vending machine at work gave me 60p change the other day....I had only put 50p in and had had a 40p chocolate bar. I left a post-it note on the machine, and a note at reception.

Dynamicnanny · 12/08/2008 22:27

STEALING IS WRONG and unfortunatley if people on mumsnet can't see that what are we teaching to the future generations.

misdee · 12/08/2008 22:28

i stil lrecall the postwers from my shop worker days 'one can drink lost/stolen means 10 to be sold to make up for that missing one'

Reginaphilangy · 12/08/2008 22:29

Why is it pompous to say that stealing is wrong Dilly?

misdee · 12/08/2008 22:31

OP, glad you are going to pay for it.

peppa pig is a terrible choice though lol.

paolosgirl · 12/08/2008 22:32

No difference at all, IMO, Bree. Stealing (or taking something in error and not returning it, a la the DVD and the Mars) is stealing, but it's what you do to rectify the situation, and whether or not you are consistent.

Blandmum · 12/08/2008 22:32

we all pay for the stuff that gets nicked.

Not Tescos and not Sainsburys.

We do, you and me.

they pass the cost on to the customer. I don't wqant to pay the extra, do you?

Thois was an accident, but one that should be rectified

Sidge · 12/08/2008 22:32

LittleMissBliss I don't buy things from vending machines so it's a moot point

But if a machine malfunctioned and I got an extra chocolate bar I wouldn't go out of my way to return it. However if I knew I had acquired something that wasn't mine to keep by virtue of my actions and not some machine going tits up then I would take it back.

lisad123 · 12/08/2008 22:33

sorry as fart as im concerned its stealing, but then im the sort that would tell a cashier if she gave me too much change.

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 22:33

Bree are you the real BreeVanderCamp

As far aa i'm concerned they are both the same as you are taking something which was not payed for both unintentional. I would take the DVD back but not the Mars Bar. I'm sure allot of MN would do the same!

Saying they are not the same is like.....

Lets say you take back a £50 top and get refunded twice. But that's ok because it's a 'machines' fault. If you keep the money it is theft it doesn't belong to you. But you didn't go out to take it.

cheesesarnie · 12/08/2008 22:34

so because your dc are 4,3 and 5 months means its ok?mine are 8,7 and 2 can i get away with stealing too?
why would a responsible adult-a role model,think its at all reasonable to keep it even if it was an accident.