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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to keep a dvd that my 3 year old accidently stole from a supermarket today?

326 replies

goodomen · 12/08/2008 20:25

I was shopping at a major supermarket today and had agreed to let dd have a dvd for 5.99. She was holding it in the trolley.

Basically I forgot to give to the check out person to swipe so we didn't pay for it.
I only realised this after I had strapped my other 2 children in to the car and was lifting dd out of the trolley and saw it on her knee.
I didn't want to have to go all the way back in.
I feel a bit guilty, but then again I must have spent thousands of pounds at this shop over the years.

What do you think. AIBU to keep it? Is it stealing? Do I worry too much?

OP posts:
Dior · 12/08/2008 20:46

Message withdrawn

BrownSuga · 12/08/2008 20:46

Set a good example for your childrens.

Take it with you next time you go there to shop, and tell them what happened, and that you are bringing it in to pay for it now, as with 3 kiddies, you didn't have the energy to sort it out last time.

BrownSuga · 12/08/2008 20:46

ahem childrens

beansmum · 12/08/2008 20:46

I'm quite that you didn't take it back immediately, you hadn't even left the car park! Totally different from finding it when you had got all the way home. And do your dcs know you didn't pay for it? Brilliant example to set your kids.

Pannacotta · 12/08/2008 20:47

I would take it in the next time I went shopping and either hand it in and explain what happened (minus the bit about realising in the car park) or offer to pay for it there and then.
(I am a bit overly honest has to be said, I was given too much change in a shop yesterday and when I realised I went back to give her the £1 too much change she had given me).

LookattheLottie · 12/08/2008 20:48

Well I'm sure she's harldy going to raise a bunch of pinching thugs from a one time mishap, fgs! These things happen, the op isn't seeking approval for what she did, she's simpley asking for oppinions on the situation Bree.

If anything this will teach the op to check the children before she leaves the store, and keep a watchful eye on them whilst shopping. It should never happen again and we can all go back to being saints.

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 12/08/2008 20:48

Oh keep it and chill, it's not like you took it on purpose.

You are not a thief ffs

Children do this all the time, if it was a small shop I'd take it back, but it's Tescos, sod them.

Pannacotta · 12/08/2008 20:49

Gosh Bree your post s a bit OTT, it wasnt done on purpose.

ravenAK · 12/08/2008 20:50

I'd take it with me on my next visit - offer to pay if I was happy to buy it, or return still in wrapper etc if not.

Possibly white lie re: when you noticed dd had swiped it!

boogiewoogie · 12/08/2008 20:55

Is this a wind up? Of course it's stealing. Take it back next time. The fact that you have spent thousands at this shop is irrelevant. This might happen to a lot of parents, but I would think that the majority would have taken it back if they noticed just after leaving the checkout!

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 12/08/2008 20:55

The child did not do it on purpose.

The adult wilfully left the carpark with it.

Nothing OTT. IMO

lou031205 · 12/08/2008 20:57

Hmm, well speaking as the woman who went back into Tesco's with a 79p bottle of instant hand rub because I'd forgotton to pay for it, I'd say YAB(completely)U and stealing.

There really is no excuse. You saw your error, you had the opportunity to correct it. You chose to keep it. That is stealing.

"It isn't stealing in the normal sense. Your dd didn't set out to steal the dvd and nor did you. You didn't even realise you'd left the store with it."

It is stealing in the normal sense.

"Dishonest appropriation of property without the owner?s consent, with intent to deprive them of its use, either temporarily or permanently:
www.nas.gov.uk/guides/legalTerms.asp"

The moment you realised that you hadn't paid for it, it was stealing. By choosing to keep it, you were being dishonest in the sense that the store requires you to have paid for all items prior to leaving.

If you willingly stole it once you realised that you were at the car, that is one thing. But don't come here asking to justify that theft as an 'accident'. Your 3 year old had the accident, not you.

Original poster
goodomen · 12/08/2008 21:03

I would have thought that any normal person would understand why I did not go back in immediately. I am human.

I had been wondering whether it is worth taking it back, but seeing as I am feeling even more guilty now after some posters (slightly hysterical) comments, I will definately be taking it back to pay for it. .

Of course my dc's didn't realise it wasn't paid for. They are only little.
We are quite an honest bunch normally!

OP posts:
picklepie555 · 12/08/2008 21:03

If you had promised to buy it for your DD then I would just pay for it next time you go in. No biggie, its all happened to us,they will totally understand. You could just consider it a 'buy now, pay later' just take it with you next time you go in, pay for it and then rest well knowing you've done the right thing.

Tinkywinks · 12/08/2008 21:04

If you are going to feel guilty about it then pay for it next time and don't give any more thought. But if you're anything like me then you'll just keep it and not feel any guilt at all! I generally save my guilt for things that count, ie. snapping at my ds. Not depriving a huge supermarket (which rip people off day in day out) of a few pounds.

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 12/08/2008 21:05

It would have been less hassle to call the store and say, my three year old appropriated a DVD this afternoon, can I pay you for it now please.

I have my debit card ready.

Tinkywinks · 12/08/2008 21:07

Bloody hell goodomen, I think the fact that you have to shop with three kids in tow warrants you a little freebie reward, shame they didn't nick you a bottle of perfume instead. JOKE before all you doo gooders stone me to death.

Tinkywinks · 12/08/2008 21:08

Bloody hell goodomen, I think the fact that you have to shop with three kids in tow warrants you a little freebie reward, shame they didn't nick you a bottle of perfume instead. JOKE before all you doo gooders stone me to death.

paolosgirl · 12/08/2008 21:10

Unpack 3 kids from the car and back into the shop? No way Jose.

Just take it back in the next time you shop there and tell them what happened. Or not

Honestly, I'm as moral as they come most of the time, but there does come a time when you've got to say nope, I've just spent the last 90 minutes in there with 3 kids, and I ain't going back. I will deal with it the next time.

RubyRioja · 12/08/2008 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamalovesmojitos · 12/08/2008 21:12

hmm...similar thing happened to me once and i brought it back. i just had to. i'm ridiculously honest.

but at the same time i wouldn't flame someone else for holding onto it.

Roboshua · 12/08/2008 21:13

But would you have imediately gone back if you realised in the car you'd been the one overcharged and the supermarket was now in possession of soemthing of yours to which they weren't entitled????

Totally agree with lou031205. It is theft in the legal (and therefore normal) sense. As soon as you find something which you have not paid for and then fail to return it or make restitution you then become a thief.

sickofthisrain · 12/08/2008 21:13

Don't stress goodomen, just take it in and pay next time you're there. I wouldn't have gone back in either tbh given those circumstances. Shopping with 2 kids is bad enough as it is - have started shopping online to save my sanity!

littlemisschatalot · 12/08/2008 21:14

I can't believe i am reading all this. lets not make the OP feel bad. i would guess that this type of thing or similar happens to us all. lets say you take your kids to a theme park/day out. your child is 3yrs 1day old . the cut off for free admission is 3yrs. the lady doesnt charge you for 3yr old ds. how many then say.."oh but he was 3 yesterday...i'd rather pay the £10 Admission thanks"
lets get real.

RubyRioja · 12/08/2008 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.