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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to keep a dvd that my 3 year old accidently stole from a supermarket today?

326 replies

goodomen · 12/08/2008 20:25

I was shopping at a major supermarket today and had agreed to let dd have a dvd for 5.99. She was holding it in the trolley.

Basically I forgot to give to the check out person to swipe so we didn't pay for it.
I only realised this after I had strapped my other 2 children in to the car and was lifting dd out of the trolley and saw it on her knee.
I didn't want to have to go all the way back in.
I feel a bit guilty, but then again I must have spent thousands of pounds at this shop over the years.

What do you think. AIBU to keep it? Is it stealing? Do I worry too much?

OP posts:
DillyTanty · 12/08/2008 22:59

not you, edam...

mamhaf · 12/08/2008 23:00

The definition of theft is an intention to permanently deprive the owner.

If the OP intends to return it, which sheg does, then it's not theft...give her a break.

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 12/08/2008 23:00

DT

Stealing a DVD four years was wrong, it is still wrong now. I am cringing that the OP felt the need to post, as opposed to recitfy.

DillyTanty · 12/08/2008 23:01

cringing, or sneering?

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 23:03

Bree- please bother to read my posts before addressing me. I did not say that it was ok for the Op to keep DVD without paying. Nor did i attack her. My first post on this thread was addressed to you. I have always said that i would pay for DVD. But not mars bar.

Maybe you should leave. You wouldn't want to catch anything from the rough'uns! You do know that is possible through a computer screen...

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 12/08/2008 23:03

The OP (please read it again) had no intentions of really paying for it. She tried to justify it, then in the face of mounting criticism, she agreed to pay for it.

DillyTanty · 12/08/2008 23:03

do you know what? i'm off. got work to do.

how's about next time Bree you just say 'it's wrong etc' (which it undoubtedly is) without putting the boot in about how the person is responsible for the breakdown of MN/society? that might be the christian thing to do...

Quattrocento · 12/08/2008 23:05

Only one thing to say to the OP

There is no such thing as a victimless crime.

Sidge · 12/08/2008 23:05

LittleMissBliss no I had a deprived childhood, I don't remember having anything from a vending machine (Mind you they probably weren't invented when I was a kid...)

I've had a hot chocolate drink actually, does that count? (It was gross).

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 12/08/2008 23:05

DT

Most definitely cringing...

Is nobody allowed to have moral convictions these days ??

edam · 12/08/2008 23:05

Dilly - I realised that comment wasn't aimed at me, don't worry!

Quattrocento · 12/08/2008 23:07

Oh lordy, just read the whole thread. Poor Bree. Sorry. I am here anyhow. We can be the moral minority.

frasersmummy · 12/08/2008 23:07

This site is so very different from the site I joined 4 years ago. Let's just say, these days "all human life is here".

what does that mean

does it mean that those of us who have joined recently are not welcome in your eyes??

thats a nice way to make anyone feel

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 23:08

Bree you do come across really snooty!

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 23:10

Lots of people agree with you but aren't quite as rude. For someone with high morals you don't have much tact.

Tortington · 12/08/2008 23:12

its stealing. that is that

whether that bothers you in particular is another matter

cheesesarnie · 12/08/2008 23:12

poor bree!why is she having to put up with abuse just because she has morals?whats wrong with thinking stealing is wrong?

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 12/08/2008 23:13

No FrasersMummy

All it means is that four years ago, I would not have been pounced upon and called snooty for trying to live by my own moral code. That is all.

Quattrocento · 12/08/2008 23:14

Yes it's stealing, but am dismayed to see how it's being justified

(1) It's okay because I have three children and/or

(20 It's okay because I was only stealing from Tesco

Bizarre, totally bizarre

susiecutiebananas · 12/08/2008 23:16

I had a slightly similar thing happen. I bought DD a pair of shoes in a well known dept store, they were reduced from £35 to £5. I was SO pleased. She was only 13months old at the time. They put them on her to try them on and she got stroppy so we ( assistant and myself) left them on her. They gave me the box to go and pay with when I was ready. I did some more shopping and totally forgot they were in the pram hood.

Walked out, shopped in waitrose, walked home, a fairly long walk ( for me) it was cold too. realised as I unpacked the pram.

many friends told me to just keep them, it was only a £5, that they make enough profit etc... i felt SO bad, I took the box back about 2 weeks later ( next time I could go). I felt SO guilty that whole time, I really did.

Went to the shoe dept. explained everything. She scanned the label, and said " these are discontinued and out of stock madam" I said well these might be the last pair. She said, I can't sell them to you, as we don't sell them anymore.

I was very confused and said, but I have them already, I just forgot to pay, DD has been wearing them for 2 weeks. She got her manager. The manager understood what had happened and said, we can't sell them to you madam, they show as out of stock and discontinued. I told her they'd been reduced in the sale and were £5.

She said there was no way to verify it now and no way to take the payment. She smiled and said perhaps you should leave the shoe department until your daughters feet grow again, get her measured in 6-8 weeks. And that was that.

Free shoes from a well known dept store. now, would this be called karma, for being honest? or something else?

OP: just take it back next time and explain. You will feel better for it.

DillyTanty · 12/08/2008 23:20

really bree? that's all you meant by that? you weren't being superior with that 'all human life is here?' where is my [disingenuous] icon when i need it? oh, and you haven't mentioned the Mothercare Effect yet...

NorthernLurker · 12/08/2008 23:21

The op discovered that she had property in her possession that wasn't hers. She did not attempt to rectify the situation she pocketed the goods and then came on the internet looking for validation of her staeling. As things stand it is theft, she is a thief.

I am shocked that something which is so black and white to me is considered to be perfectly excusable and ok by so many on here. I am further shocked that when somebody points out that this is theft she is told she is being 'snobby', 'snooty' and 'unchristian'

Well if having a moral compass that works is snobby, snooty and unchristian - then I'm all of those things too!

mayorquimby · 12/08/2008 23:21

personally i'd bring it back.
but that's because i'm not a thief.

frasersmummy · 12/08/2008 23:21

I am not getting into the rights or wrongs of this thread

but bree .. just because the debate has gone a different direction to where you thought it would.. doesnt mean you should make out that its just because all the new people are so morally bereft..

Tortington · 12/08/2008 23:22

it weren't common as fuck before!