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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to keep a dvd that my 3 year old accidently stole from a supermarket today?

326 replies

goodomen · 12/08/2008 20:25

I was shopping at a major supermarket today and had agreed to let dd have a dvd for 5.99. She was holding it in the trolley.

Basically I forgot to give to the check out person to swipe so we didn't pay for it.
I only realised this after I had strapped my other 2 children in to the car and was lifting dd out of the trolley and saw it on her knee.
I didn't want to have to go all the way back in.
I feel a bit guilty, but then again I must have spent thousands of pounds at this shop over the years.

What do you think. AIBU to keep it? Is it stealing? Do I worry too much?

OP posts:
Tinkywinks · 12/08/2008 21:15

By the way goodomen, I am not a junkie prostitute who beats up tramps for fun or anything. I consider myself a normal, decent, spiritual person, I meditate every day, I believe in karma and I have had a very good upbringing. But I do believe in the bigger picture and personally I do think some of the comments on here have been a bit OTT. But we are all entitled to our opinions, you have to listen to yourself and ask how YOU really feel about this, that is what counts.

saadia · 12/08/2008 21:17

YABU and should have returned it. This has happened to me a couple of times and I returned the items immediately as thinking about it would have been too tempting.

paolosgirl · 12/08/2008 21:18

I never leave the shop without checking my receipts, so wouldn't ever find myself in the position of being over-charged.

I also check the trolley and pram in case the kids have snaffled items, but if I'd missed something I would not unpack 3 kids from a car.

shatteredmumsrus · 12/08/2008 21:18

Dont worry about it. It wasnt intenional and its no major crime!

falcon · 12/08/2008 21:22

Yes it is stealing if you don't go back and pay for it.

Original poster
goodomen · 12/08/2008 21:24

Thanks Tinkywinks.

I can honestly say that if I had been over charged by the same or even alot more I would not have gone back in today.

I know it is just an excuse but dc's are 4,3 and 5 months old and it is a PITA getting them in and out of the car at the best of times, but after a supermarket trip we all just want to get home.

I am going to pay for it next time I go though.
Or maybe I'll just go to confession.

OP posts:
jellybeans · 12/08/2008 21:29

It was a mistake, don't worry over it YANBU.

pickie · 12/08/2008 21:29

My DD managed to bag a Christian Dior lipstick the other day at Debenhams and I returned it. Was only a sample lipstick but thats not the point. In my book it is stealing.

The CD rep now knows us and when we go past she does DD lips.

Honesty is best and you feel MUCH better for it!

BitOfFun · 12/08/2008 21:33

Oh FGS, Tesco get one out of every eight pounds spent in Britain as it is! It was not deliberate, it's not like you pointed out to your kids "ooh goody, we got away without paying for that" and asked them to snaffle something bigger next time : I would let it go and try to make sure you don't forget to check their little mitts before you leave the store next time to save the carseat hassle. It does not make you a hardened criminal!

BitOfFun · 12/08/2008 21:33

Oh FGS, Tesco get one out of every eight pounds spent in Britain as it is! It was not deliberate, it's not like you pointed out to your kids "ooh goody, we got away without paying for that" and asked them to snaffle something bigger next time : I would let it go and try to make sure you don't forget to check their little mitts before you leave the store next time to save the carseat hassle. It does not make you a hardened criminal!

Tinkywinks · 12/08/2008 21:34

Or just pay for it in hell!
I tell you what is 'unfair', Tesco paying their workers next to nothing while the big fat bosses go on luxury holidays, have expensive meals and wear designer suits and get it all paid for on work expenses.

Blandmum · 12/08/2008 21:40

I would go back and pay for it.

Tescos will not 'absorb' the loss, they will pass it on to the rest of the shoppers. We all lose out due to shoplifting; deliberate or accidental

EyeballsintheSky · 12/08/2008 21:44

Can I relax about the 25p garlic bulb I found in the basket of my buggy just now then? I chuck all my shopping under there as I'm going round and it was hiding under a muslin square. I'm usually very careful about checking it's empty but today it obviously eluded me.

milge · 12/08/2008 21:46

Anyone for a grape?

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 21:49

Bree- what would you do if you put some money into vending machine and got two mars bars instaed of one?

Reginaphilangy · 12/08/2008 21:50

Its stealing. Simple.

ForeverOptimistic · 12/08/2008 21:51

I'm shocked at the amount of posters saying say that she should keep it!

Original poster
goodomen · 12/08/2008 21:57

I will pay for it; either by ringing up tomorrow as Bree suggested or next time I go.

I do think some posters have been a bit harsh.
I don't think it is possible to live in a black and white world.

I also think we all make decisions sometimes that are morally ambiguous. That is life. To pretend otherwise is just as dishonest.

OP posts:
Tinkywinks · 12/08/2008 21:59

Milge, I think you're alright with the grape, as long as you didn't sell it on ebay for a profit.

Hecate · 12/08/2008 22:01

Good decision. You'll feel a better person for it.

I once accidentally left a tin of catfood in the bottom of my trolley and went back in to pay for it. They looked like

Sidge · 12/08/2008 22:03

I think you should take it back tomorrow and pay for it. If you explain that your child had it I am sure they will understand but you know technically they could prosecute you for theft? There are people that teach their children to shoplift, you're not one of them but the store staff don't know that.

Also if you just keep it you are sending a message to your children that it's OK not to pay for stuff that has been picked up "by accident".

(Oh and the two Mars Bars scenario is hardly comparable, that's a machine error not theft)

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 22:05

But if you keep it its theft isn't it you didn't pay for it.

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 22:05

that was about the extra mars bar.

LittleMissBliss · 12/08/2008 22:07

I'd pay for DVD but not extra mars bar. But they are both stealling aren't they. The OP didn't mean to take the DVD it was DC error!

Sidge · 12/08/2008 22:08

No it's not theft because there was no intent to deprive. (unless you banged the machine to make 2 Mars Bars fall down!)