to keep a dvd that my 3 year old accidently stole from a supermarket today?

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I was shopping at a major supermarket today and had agreed to let dd have a dvd for 5.99. She was holding it in the trolley.

Basically I forgot to give to the check out person to swipe so we didn't pay for it.
I only realised this after I had strapped my other 2 children in to the car and was lifting dd out of the trolley and saw it on her knee.
I didn't want to have to go all the way back in.
I feel a bit guilty, but then again I must have spent thousands of pounds at this shop over the years.

What do you think. AIBU to keep it? Is it stealing? Do I worry too much?

Totally understand the op's position, to be perfectly honest in the same position I would have gone home, 'phoned the store to let them know and made some arrangement with manager to pay for it.

It's got me thinking though about other 'honest mistakes' I have made recently. Online shopping delivered 3 single packs of crisps that I didn't order. I kept them, didn't even think of 'phoning the store.

I found £1 in the locker at the swimming baths last week and kept it, figured it was pay back for the plenty I had left behind.

How many of you would hand in a £10 note you found on the pavement? I certainly wouldn't. Does it make me dishonest? Yes, but I can live with it.

Take it back - it's stealing otherwise.

Sorry i had to bow out early last night, my baby woke up and I fell asleep settling her

I have rung the store this morning and they don't take payments over the phone but said it was fine to pay for it next time I go. They were very impressed with my honesty which made me feel nice so my momentary moral waver is over.

Phew I can go back to being a saint now.

Bree it is very good to have a strong moral code, but without any kindness or compassion it doesn't amount to much.
You would strongly benfit from reading 'The Grapes of Wrath' by John Steinbeck.

benefit

The moral absolute that stealing is WRONG is what's kept this country in line since the dawn of time.

Even during the days when rich factory owners lived in huge mansions while their workers' children starved to death in the slums.

The thing to remember with moral absolutes is that fairness has nothing to do with it.

The fact that Tesco has probably had £5000 quid off you this year alone for selling you food that is often over priced and poor quality is neither here nor there. Not to mention that you have probably been charged twice for various items of shopping on a number of occasions and have failed to spot it (this happens far more frequently than people think - check your receipts!).

The most important thing is to protect the profits of retailers. Which you have now done by phoning up and confessing.

I don't really care about Tesco tbh, but the OP's children knew she didn't pay for it, she may be able to make a judgement on whether or not it was stealing (which of course it was, hence her post worrying and then her saying she'll pay for it) but I believe the lessons we teach our children are important, and you can bet your bottom dollar that children will remember Mum not paying for a DVD more than they will remember everything she ahs paid for.

Maybe, just maybe, if she had only got a baby with her that wouldn't understand, and the baby was kicking off, I could condone leaving the car park then calling up later or going back but otherwise she should never have left.

I have a baby, a 3 year old and a seven year old, I would have either pulled up at the door and ran in, handing it to the closest till saying 'My child took this I didn't pay for it, they're in the car,. gotta go' and ran back out, or got them all back out of the car and walked them back.

The lesson of not stealing and stealing is wrong is worth getting the children out of the car IMO.

Am quite surprised that everyone jumped on Bree, btw, she seemed to be one of the only people talking with any decency.

Oh dear. I presume Bree is pretending. Otherwise it's down to the clink for your little ones.

I would suggest that if it you're fine with it forget it.

If it worries you go down to the supermarket and pay for it. They will prob be so surprised that you bothered. And then it prob won't be an item they stock now so it'll be more hastle than it's worth and they'll grumble and not be able to find the right code etc.

I think modern morals are that if it was a little shop you should def go back and pay for it. But if it's one of the big 5 they've been ripping us off for years.

Maybe not best message for wee ones tho... Hmmm not sure. Tis up to you

tittybang but the nasty, wicked supermarkets don't absorb the cost of theft they pass it on to the punters. ,so this three year old isn't some latter day robin hood (cue theme music from Alias Smith and Jones) she is stealing from ordinary people who pay the costs in their food bill.

And this child wasn't starving for goodness sake. This isn't a case of theft for need (which MN would view in a very different way)

The child made a mistake, the mum has corrected it.

What makes me ROFL about Brees high morals is the caracter that her name is based on. Real good role model for the kiddies!

Bree Van de Kamp The perfect wife and mother.

Owns four hand rifles
Covers up her son's hit and run accident to protect him.
Bree watches coldly as George (boyfriend who poisoned husband) dies from an overdose.
Bree slips into alcoholism
Bree dumps her gay rebelious son in the middle of no-where with just a suitcase.
She sends her pregnant teenage daughter to a convent.
Then lies to her friends that she is infact pregnant.
But worst of all she breaks into her neighbours house to steal a recipe!

How could you name yourself after such a monster????

I'd completely understand not taking it back immediately if you have just strapped child into car etc etc, nothing worse than having to do it all over again - but I think I would have bunged it in the glove box and taken it back to pay for next time.

I can't live with my conscience

Mind you I took some supernoodles by accident once when very pregnant and very exhausted - local shop - I paid extra next time.

And then walked out with something else, which I did not pay for because I was afraid they would think I had some kind of problem...

It was only about 59p though. I still feel bad about it!

heres a story for you.
At weekend, ds took 3 ds ganes into Gamestation to trade. They gave him £30 credit for them which he used to buy more stuff.

When we got home we realised the bloke had put the new games in the bag and the 3 we took in to trade as well. I rang them up in case they were looking for said games, and took them back in later.

When we went later, ds saw a bag that clearly said £9.95 on it. I left him to go pay for it. The bloke said it was £19.99. The label had fallen off somewhere in shop and we couldn't find it, he said if you find the sticker label you can have it for that but we couldn't find it. In the end after me saying that it clearly said £9.95, a different young lad came over and said can't you knock a fiver off for him, which was done in the end.

BUT, my thoughts were seeing as my son had showed himself to be honest by bringing games back, he (and me) were obviously not lying about the price of the bag so they should have honoured that.

They did't seem that interested in getting the games back, and I doubt if tesco give a shit if they get this dvd back either!

Oh, I think it was WAY OTT for Bree to put a post it note on a machine that churns out an extra 50p! Leave a note to say 'machine faulty' fair enough, but that would be sufficient!

YABU, it is stealing, you should take it back to the shop and pay for it, they'll understand.

Sorry should have read that you have paid now - well done, it's important to have moral integrity.

After posting early last night on this thread, I have sat and read it all this morning.

I am obviously both a hardened criminal and interestingly the kind of the scum of the earth, that some of you are desperately trying to protect mumsnet from.

I am not about to flounce, what's the point?

But I think some of the posts have been incredibly judgemental and unwelcoming.

I was under the impression the was an open forum, not a private members club.

Nicking stuff is bad form.

But badder than that is the snobbery and sanctimony displayed here by some posters. Yek.

'But badder than that is the snobbery and sanctimony displayed here by some posters. Yek.'

Oh, yes, pointing out that it's wrong to steal and lazy as hell not to use perfectly good legs to walk back across a friggin' car park to return an unintentionally stolen item is so snobby and sanctimonious.

'Bree it is very good to have a strong moral code, but without any kindness or compassion it doesn't amount to much.
You would strongly benfit from reading 'The Grapes of Wrath' by John Steinbeck. '

I fail to see what is basically a revolutionary statement has to do with approving theft.

I haven't just read that once I've read it three times. By force in American Lit courses.

My dad was born during the Depression in Texas.

I think what Bree was trying to point out is that more and more folks cry foul and 'mean' and snobby and unfair and various other lazy adjectives whenever they encounter a ppoint of view they don't like.

It's all a part of the entitlement culture you see more and more of.

I think if I had THREE children ready to go in a car, I would not turn back, my conscience would lose out to the thought of that effort.

I might in a fit of honesty pay for it next time I went but I might also think, well, that's the few quid you owe me from all the food that goes off before it's sell by etc. We do spend a fortune in these places.

But if for example my ds (7) knew we hadn't paid for something I would be more keen (hypocritical) to return it asap so he learned about theft!

My mother marched my back into a shop age 4 with a gobstopper I'd stolen and made me apologise "For having stolen" in front of a whole queue. That certainly worked!

But what about corporate theft? Apparently a huge % of us steal things from work (stationery etc) and don't consider if theft, more a perk.

When dh worked for security in a large music shop in London they spent most of their time chasing away druggies trying to nick cds to fund their habits.

But, the biggest culprits were the staff..

I went through a phase of nicking stuff from Tesco when I was pregnant with ds.
I'd chuck stuff under the pram and forget about it.

Did I return to pay for it? Nah. Nothing tastes better than stuff you haven't paid for

have you read her posts???

She is OTT.

You know what they say about swans, elegant and gracefull on the surface and furiously peddling under the water.

That's what image i have of Bree, nobodys perfect.

I've read the entire thread, LMB, and your own posts have gone just as sniddy as any of hers might have been.

So because staff steal and governments steal and corporations steal, that makes it okay for everyone to steal?

Cool. I'm pretty skint. I'll nick some stuff from Tesco or a few purses on the train and see how far I get.

expat- Not too keen on Steinbeck. Had to read Of Mice and Men for GCSE over and over again wasn't my cup of tea. Give me a trashy romcom anyday . Got any reconmendations on that front.

I used to write trashy romances. But don't read them currently. I'm into Richard and Judy books and chick lit for the present.