..irritated at being addressed by my first name

[raindropsonroses]

At the hospital today the receptionist was "Lucy-ing" me, she wasn't being friendly either, the opposite in fact!
It happens frequently especially in hospitals. It does annoy me, there is a section in my maternity notes where it asks how I would like to be addressed, and I have put Mrs......
I don't mind in certain situations my first name being used, or if a person introduces themselves by their first name, first. Does anybody agree?
AIBU?

Half the time people use my first name, it isn't necessary to call me by any name at all. It's just over-familiarity for the sake of it.

god, no, Uriel. that's the very thing that would make me clench!

does anyone actually like being called Miss or Ms, though?

alicet- well I would say, yes.

Unless someone says, please call me Jim or whatever (which I guess the box on the front of your handheld notes is inviting you to do, if you wish).

You make your choice of how to be addressed, let them make theirs.

I agree with Uriel - the distance it creates can be a good thing. I certainly think that on first or infrequent meetings with a doctor I would expect Mrs Squiffy. My midwife calls me by my firstname though but I see her regularly and she will hopefully be at my birth.

I hate it when you call Sainsburys or wherever and they start using your first name!

Alicat - I would assume Mrs/Mr as I think most people would feel far more comfortable saying 'oh, please use my first name' than saying 'actually I prefer to be addressed as Mrs' IYSWIM.

Dilly I really like being addressed as Mrs but maybe it's because I used to teach so was used to being called that every day and now I kind of miss it...

Actually, I'm quite looking forward to being an old woman. It'll be excusable to peer over the top of my glasses and bark, "Did I give you permission to use my Christian name, young man?"

And wear comfy but fugly shoes.

We had this on a flight last week - after looking at our boarding passes the air steward called me eidsvold and then called my 68yo mother by her first name. I was not so surprised being called by my first name but my mum!! that surprised me.

I don't mind my GP saying it BUT we see her often and she has seen me through two pregnancies. I know she calls older patients MR or Mrs whatever.

I would just say next time - I preferred to be addressed as mrs roses not raindrops.

Haven't read the thread but wanted to add what we were told in training - for volunteer ambulance and we're trained to technician level often by paramedics, so I'm pretty sure it's standard.

You ask someone their name and they say:

"Fred Smith" you call them by "Mr Smith" unless they correct you.

"Mr Smith" you call them "Mr Smith".

"Fred" you call them "Fred".

Does that help?

Reminds me of the time I visited my elderly great aunt in hospital, she would have been in her 80s at the time and her age was a close secret known only to her.... young nurse yells down the corridor "Hilda! Hilda?! What's your date of birth??"

Poor old lady .. not only having to divulge dob in front of rellies and fellow patients but the casual use of her first name rather than Mrs XYZ was clearly very distressing, not to mention rude and unthinking.

YANBU

[sorry for hijack, alicet I think we have mutual friends: Cami & Richard]

I am actually observed and scored on using customers names at work - I don't think they differentiate whether it's the first name or surname.

There are only a couple of customers who I address by their first name and I've known them for over 10 years.

Cat64 - bravo, well put!! That is exactly how I feel.

I'm with edam. Particularly re medical situations. I'd prefer to be addressed as firstname, but not if they're insisting not being Dr lastname. I always feel like syaing "well I'm Dr last name, and at least my Dr is a proper one "

and alicet; I'd be very pleased with the way you introduce yourself. It's the inequality of I'm Dr X, you are little patient firstname, that irritates

There is a man at my HA who insists I call him Mr Ahmed. I know for a fact as I work closely with the HA that there are more Ahmed's than just him! Besides which "Mr" is a term of respect and I refuse to use it with him. I am good friends with all the MDs of the company and call them by their first name, I'm not calling someone at the bottom of the food chain "Mr" especially when he has never shown any reason for me to (he grilled my babysitter about whether he lived there, which to me is accusing me of benefit fraud).

A Dr has earned their title so I use it.

I expect to be formally addressed in a situation like a hospital appointment. DH tells me though that the "norm" these days is to be addressed as "ms" and not "mrs". I absolutely hate MS

As a student nurse, we have been taught to speak to people using Mr or Mrs then ask what they'd prefer e.g. Hello Mrs. Smith, is it ok to call you Mrs. Smith or do you pefer something else'?
Sometimes people say even before you finish the sentence 'oh please call me Barbara' or whatever.
But I think in the first instance its important to show respect to patients and visitors.
I wouldnt call another member of staff Mr. or Mrs though unless they were consultants who preferred it or I didnt know them well, you find people who have worked with surgeons for years call them by their first name, but as a student or even staff nurse you would refer to them as Mr. its just repsct I suppose

I wouldn't mind if they used my first or my last name provided they pronounced it even vaguely correctly. Sadly that doesn't happen...

Am I the only one who finds it weird to suddenly become "Mum" to 20 people, some of whom old enough to be your grandmother, when you are in hospital with a baby?

A lot of people (including me) prefer their first name to be used rather that having to state the Mrs/Ms/Miss.
Our Maternity unit uses both names - e.g "Jane Bloggs"

How can you mis-pronounce 'ib'?!!

That's very true Jackstini. I'm not married, but as I am 37 with three small children, Miss does NOT feel right. But yet, some people will judge me for opting for Ms. This has happened even on Mumsnet. THere was a big long thread about it, 6 months ago perhaps, and the vitriol some posters felt about 'Ms' really shocked me.

DOn't know what else to be though. I am not a Mrs and I don't feel I can pull of Miss with the gaggle of rugrats around me.

Agree with OP and Edam. Especially hate jumped up little s in call centres using my first name.

yep, i am a Ms and have been for ages (can't imagine being known as a Mrs and haven't been a Miss since i had my consciousness raised at the age of 15 ), but it just doesn't sound nice.

Ms too. Can't see the problem with it. It's just my title.