..irritated at being addressed by my first name

[raindropsonroses]

At the hospital today the receptionist was "Lucy-ing" me, she wasn't being friendly either, the opposite in fact!
It happens frequently especially in hospitals. It does annoy me, there is a section in my maternity notes where it asks how I would like to be addressed, and I have put Mrs......
I don't mind in certain situations my first name being used, or if a person introduces themselves by their first name, first. Does anybody agree?
AIBU?

On the phone i think it is only polite to ask to speak to Mrs X but as a nurse face to face i introduce myself by my first name and call patients by their first name. I dont expect to be called nurse "surname".

I wouldn't have a problem with being called by my first name and think YABU.

I think Hecate has made an excellent point about the power difference being the issue here, and even though it makes me feel a hundred and nine, or like an eight year old (oddly), I would prefer Ms. BitofFun unless I invite them otherwise. But the Ms debate is a whole new affair...

Hospital receptionists doing it doesn't bother me, but I know it does some people, so YANBU. I have the problem of using my middle name though, so I'm another one who doesn't always recognise straight away when they call me out.
I really, really hate it when call centre operators use my first name though. Grr.

I hate this casualness (not a word I know). I ended up writing a letter to my bank after a certain cashier kept calling me by my first name. The thing that annoyed me the most was that I knew if I was an older person, in my 50's or 60's she wouldn't have done it. She would have called me Mrs Hamster. She thought she could use my first name because we are of a similar age.

see... the thing about this is that i do like asking people waht their name is. plus, i've never bothered changing to dh's name so am a Ms (it annoys me immensely to be called Miss).

so if someone addressed me as Ms or Miss, i'd say 'oh call me Aitch' and then look for a name badge or somesuch and presume to call them by their first name.

if they called me Aitch without asking, i'd just ask them their name and say hi, iykwim, doctor or not? makes the world go round, imo.

I think writing to the bank about the cashier was a bit harsh. Maybe she was just being friendly and doesn't see it as a lack of respect, as you do. I think people are so quick to write letters of complaint about the slightest thing with not enough consideration for the person they are complaining about - having someone complain about you to your boss is very stressful and upsetting, and is quite harsh if she was just trying to be friendly!

Quite a mixed response. Interesting!

TG - I hope you don't mind my saying. I absolutely disagree that you have to leave your dignity at the door especially when pregnant.

I suppose if you specified for them to call you by your surname then i guess YANBU.

I actually hate being called Mrs X!! Hate it with a passion! It feels as though they are not giving me my identity somehow, as if they are classing me as Mr X's wife instead of me! I much much much prefer to be referred to as my first name, its my name after all. That said, i wouldn't be upset if they called me Mrs X, i would just ask them to called me by my first name. Simple.

I think you are right.
I have put on my notes to be called by my first name, and I don't see the point of the lagre box on the front of the notes being there if people are not going to refer to it before they address you.

I prefer usually to be called mrs minkyohnoo in the bank etc. and if people address me by my first name when I don't want them to, I correct them, politely, by just saying it's mrs minkyohnoo.

I know my MIL still fumes at being referred to as 'mother' by the doctor present at my DH's birth, so it does matter, I think.

FWIW, however, ther reeceptionists at our antenatal clinic and the consultant's secretary all intorduced themselves to me by their first names.

well MrsMySurname that's my mum.so eeek feels kinda weird

Only read about half the thread but with interest as as a doc I often call people by their first name (once I have initially called them by full name or Mr / Mrs etc although without them telling me this is acceptable) apart from much older patients. I certainly am not talking down to them.

I also introduce myself as 'I am alicet, Mr X's registrar' rather than 'I am dr t'. I am trying to give the impression of being open and informal to make them more relaxed and the thought that someone might think I was talking down to them would NEVER have crossed my mind!

I am particularly surprised that some of you who are c learly the same generation as me would rather be addressed as Mrs / Ms / miss whatever rather than your name! I would be horrified to be addressed like this - it would make me feel about twice as old as I am!

I will take this on board when addressing patients as clearly their comfort is more important - I might ask them how they would like to be addressed now - but I still find this attitude a bit strange. Not unreasonable but totally a world away from how I, my friends, and family live

I don't mind people calling me by name, whichever.

Generally I use my first name as I've had it the longest! Mrs X, is still my mil and sounds odd to be called it and makes me feel old, but again it IS my name so how could I be offended by my own name? I don't think that by saying mrs x means they respect you any more.

I don't see why people think it's strange, to want to be addressed as MRS whatever. Title and surname is the name you should use to adress someone you don't know until they invite you to be informal. Just pretty normal ettiquette, IMHO.

Exactly as Pinky said.

OP YANBU. Grrrrr. What' the world coming to, eh?

So those of you who would rather be addressed as Mrs / Miss / Ms - would you be offended if as your doctor I introduced myself as 'I am alicet, Mr x's Registrar' then addressed you by your first name?

Not trying to be bolshy by the way. Just generally curious. Is it OK because I introduce myself by my first name and I'm not all 'I'm doctor this, you're just X'?

I hate "Mrs" though - makes me feel like a possession. And old! Whole other thread which has been done, mind. As you were.

If I have to fill in a form I would ask to be addressed by my first name, even if I am married by then. Why don't you like it?

I dislike the full form of my first name, which doesn't help - no-one ever uses it normally, so it's disconcerting to be called by it.

I prefer Mrs Surname, at which point I can always say 'oh call me Shortformoffirstname'

Cheers cat64!

Just thought too that I've never looked to see if there is a 'call me X' box on a patient's notes that I have gone to see... Does this make me bad?!

I think this has been a useful discussion for me (sorry to hijack OP! ) as it will probably change my behaviour at work which hopefully can only be a positive thing for my patients

Re the doctor/patient thing. If the doctor/nurse has her hand up your fanjo, I'd prefer MrsUriel to Uriel. It just makes it all a bit more distant and tolerable!

It takes a few seconds to ask someone's preference. One of the Psychiatrists I worked with always introduced herself as Dr first name last name. She then immediately asked the patient how they would like to be addressed. She didn't care if they called her Dr X or her first names.

Lots of us (nurses) took her lead and I always ask as well. (in a very casual way if the client is fairly young, say early twenties or younger).