to be shocked at a 4 day old baby out shopping...

[mrschop]

with his mother of course. But - four days after giving birth you should be resting, recovering, letting all your innards get back to where they should be. Surely not marching around a shopping centre?

And even if the mother is OK to be out and about, shouldn't newborns be given bit of time at home to adjust to being born? Mine didn't leave the house for a week, and then only a short walk up the road.

Am I really old fashioned in thinking that a week or two of rest, peace and quiet (and no germs from random strangers) is the normal thing to do with a new baby?

"and would then return the favour after the birth" Sorry - should read, 'would then return the favour when it was their friends/relatives turn to give birth.

I got hassle from a couple of old ladies for taking one-day-old DS to the park. Bugger 'em I say, it was the middle of summer, I had an easy labour and besides I had a 15mth old DD who needed some exercise. Hardly fair on her for me to wallow in bed for a week (no family support & a self-employed DP to boot)

I'm not posh, no cleaners or nannies.

But I'll be fucked if I'm getting up and hauling 3 kids around 4 days after DS is born.

I'm already preparing everything now so I don't have to do that cuz it ain't gonna happen.

I think pressure to get up and return to normal has NOT helped my PND at all.

So this time, it's going to be different. Some may be able to cope, but for me and my mental health, I need to give my body time to recover.

I'm no spring chicken anymore.

I had the energy, and certainly the motivation - but I would have been 'edging along gingerly' for the first couple of days rather than 'marching', I think.

mrschop .. did you consider this maybe wasnt such a big outing for mum and baby

2 days after getting out of hospital I was in one of the biggest shopping centres in Scotland.

people were amazed until I pointed out it was 5 mins drive or 20 mins wallk from the house.
Add this to the fact we had been stuck in hospital for a week and it seemed like a simple but nice outing

Perhaps this mum was in similiar position??

Actually I am LOL-ing at this thread and mentally comparing it to all those where it is considered FAR too onerous to expect a woman to make a cup of tea for a visiting MIL within 6 weeks of giving birth

Agree at the post birth euphoria. Plus after DH came back from Asda I was very at how Dh got mobbed, and I wanted it too
What the hell was I thinknig???

I think that before 'Rising from childbed' becomes an Olympic competition, it is worth remembering that there are significant bodily changes that need to get back to normal before doing heavy lifting / excercise. Like the uterus shrinking back - which can take up to a week, can't it? And you plvic floor to regain some integrity. Nice to come home from the shopping wih your uterus and vagina still in - not in a soggy heap in Topshop's changing room.

I realise that for many rest is a luxury - but we need to keep up the idea that women need support after giving birth.

There'll be some feckless DH quoting sections of this thread in future as he demands his tea........

YABU - totally depends on the individual, I'd be going stir crazy if I hadn't left the house for a week. Having said that, we went to the supermarket with DS1 when he was 3 days old, and he was fine, lapping up attention, but I was in so much pain from my stitches that I couldn't walk back to the car and DH had to collect me by driving virtually into the foyer..
With DS2 I was more sensible and sent in laws out for groceries. Each to their own, i say.

That was part of my thinking, too - I wonder whether there is an increased risk of prolapse etc in later years because women don't rest enough after giving birth? That's a genuine question, I don't know to what extent these things are linked, but it seems counter-intuitive to me to not give your body a chance to recover after everything's been squished, shoved and stretched through the pregnancy.

I took DS2 out when he was 5 days old to DS1's swimming lesson. I didn't want DS1 to miss his lesson. If it had been sooner I would have taken him sooner as I felt quite well.

This woman may have been out for a short trip to get some baby stuff. DS1 got no baby clothes in newborn so we had to take him out quite young to get some stuff.

I went out when both mine were 4 days old. I had them in a sling and lots of people coo ed at them.

Re: the OP - have to say that I would have had the same reaction. I think babies benefit from being held close to their mummies for a good time after birth, and I think mums benefit from intensive rest after birth.

Scottishmummy - am also an old bag and was truly cream crackered after last birth. I'm also sure that a prolonged period of rest/biscuit eating in bed was part of what resulted in almost perfect bf for me second and third time around, despite large babies/blood loss.

YABU. I was pleasantly delighted to have a girl first time around. Was so excited and desperate to get out and buy her some beautiful clothes. What's to be shocked about? When my dd was born I was on a massive adrenaline high and enjoyed showing her off. Thankfully I didn't notice people looking down their noses at me

I've said in earlier posts I was really raising a general point about whether people seem to have lost the idea that new mothers and babies need to rest, and the benefits and otherwise of taking it easy for a week or two. My OP was a bit judgy but that was to get responses as much as anything - I do think each to their own, but wondered what others thought. I wasn't looking down my nose at anyone.

I'm qan old bag too. But ds went to the pub for lunch at 3 days old - and ds went to pick his bi=g sister up from a party at 8 hours old!

But I have to confess that I was being a bit 'femcho" about it. However, I was very very well and very very happy and it suited me. Even if I was showing off.....!

YABU
Everyone recovers differently after giving birth, I would have gone stir crazy stuck in the house after mine. I also have 3 other DC's to consider!

DD4 is 5 weeks old, she was born on a Saturday, on Sunday I was out doing my horses, om the monday I was back doing the school run.
On the Friday I was back riding my horses again

Not just unreasonable but really quite stupid! My Ds2 was born at midnight, I left hospital at 11:30, had lunch at Mils, did some shopping and collected DS1 from school at 3pm..

YABU

I was out and about the day I got back from hospital (I stayed in one night). I felt fine, it was sunny and it felt good to get fresh air and take a walk as a new family.

Everyone recovers differently and has a different birth experience. Popping out for a walk didn't mean I didn't get plenty of other time to rest with my baby. I'd have gone mad if I had stayed housebound for a week or so!!

YABU, find it difficult to lie-in or relax on the sofe at any time, staying in bed for more than a few hours (aside from a nights sleep) is physically impossible for me. I have to be ootside in the air every day.

out at 5 days old with dd, did get a few comments in the local co-op and had a stitches moment in the local cafe rouge but managed to stagger home.

I took DD to watch DS1 play in a rugby match at five days old and I had a c-section.

YABU

YABU. I went to DD1's nursery concert with dd2, when DD2 was 5 days old.

Ds was only 3 days when we went to Cafe Uno for lunch (I had a c-section). Carrying on as normal and getting out and about was actively encouraged by all the midwives. I regret it actually, I'm sure it contributed towards me failing at breastfeeding.

Back in the 70's you were encouraged to stay in for 10 days, it makes a lot of sense.