to be shocked at a 4 day old baby out shopping...

[mrschop]

with his mother of course. But - four days after giving birth you should be resting, recovering, letting all your innards get back to where they should be. Surely not marching around a shopping centre?

And even if the mother is OK to be out and about, shouldn't newborns be given bit of time at home to adjust to being born? Mine didn't leave the house for a week, and then only a short walk up the road.

Am I really old fashioned in thinking that a week or two of rest, peace and quiet (and no germs from random strangers) is the normal thing to do with a new baby?

What's so "full-on" about leisure shopping? And I'm not sure that a trip to the shops (baby department - so quite possibly for something that they'd only just realised was necessary?) necessarily interferes with the babymoon. And I'm a bit about the implication that if you don't closet yourself at home, you're missing out on something wonderful - it reminds me of bf'ing browbeaters who bang on about the lovely snuggly moments you get when bf'ing - as if you can't possibly get those with ff'ing. (I am a bf'er).

Personally, I'd have gone barking if i'd had to spend 2 weeks lying about in bed after giving birth each time. I got to spend plenty of time snuggling my DCs in bed after the birth, in spite of being up and about - mostly in the middle of the night .

But comments like 'I had to get out to get the food/loo roll' etc is partly my point. Surely many of you had other support in the hours after birth, if not days or weeks? You obviously felt OK to get out and about, but there is (sometimes) a bit of post-birth euphoria, and maybe it is better that others around you recognise that, and see that you and the baby are very vulnerable in those first few days. And then look after you - do the shopping etc while you rest? Obviously it is a very old fashioned idea.

Exactly Mog, I found that, as DD1 was only 19 months, the only 'quality time' I got with DD2 was when I took her out on our own, if we were in teh house I had other people wanting cuddles nad DD1 climbing all over me! Not exactly relaxing!

I would have shot myself if I was stuck in the house for two weeks. With ds1 I drove my sister the airport when he was 3 days old, and took ds2 to a barbecue when he was 3 days old. I think as long as I feel ok they are ok. Little babies are portable as they mostly sleep in their baby carrier, stroller, carseat anyway.

We popped to tesco on the way home from hospital with dd2 (my 2nd csection as well) had to get bread/milk etc (dh and mil hadnt thought of that) and dd1 was with my Mum so easier to do it on way home without her.

Had so many lovely comments and because we are always in there shop there frequently I even got some flowers form the checkout manager (who was amazed we hadnt even been home with her!)

YABU.

Was in hospital with DD1 for 5 days - asked for a night pass out so I could be there for my God-daughters 1st birthday celebration. Only stayed an hour or so as was very emotional.

On way home from hospital we stopped at Tesco and then had people round that night. Next night was Xmas Eve and we took her out, ditto NYE.

DD2 - Have no idea what I did but know for a fact that at 5 days old I was out shopping with my Mum but no idea what happened between day 1 and day 5, other than I wouldn't have been lying around in bed.

DD3 - Chilled at home day 1 but on Day 2 I did the school run with all 3 DD's and then my and DP went shopping. Day after that we started house viewing.

I did however also have LOADS of time lying on bed breathing in new babies, staring at their sleepy faces, kissing their feet, breastfeeding, having baths together, writing in their journals, taking photos, eating chocolate, biscuits and cake

I laugh at the idea of having support at home.

When ds1 I was living in my mothers house and no one helped me. She went to work all day and dh went to work all day. With ds2 dh left work to pick me up at the hospital, drove me home, went back to work, and an hour later my mom came and dropped off ds1 and left. I'm very grateful for her not helping though. I learned how to do it all on my own from day one, and am a very confident mom.

Thing is Mrschop - has anything bad happened as the result of all these mothers going out with their babies quite soon after the birth?

I took DD out the day she was born!

Having said throughout pregnancy that I hated pink, and if we had a girl she would wear her brother's hand-me-downs, I had a sudden urge to buy some pink socks from John Lewis.

I was only there 15 minutes, then DH drove me home.

Would also like to point out that with DS I couldn't walk for a week, so it was a different story.

Well I had to stay in hospital for the first week because they kept losing DS's blood test results .

I got up every morning, showered and put on make-up etc. I could not bear it. Not being allowed out with DS in the fresh air etc. was really difficult. I also felt undermined by the different opinions of midwives etc. It definately affected my bonding with DS.

So, I do think this get your life back straight away is ridiculous and, let's face it, unrealistic - do you ever get your life back? - but I also think that women should be given some freedom to do what they want not what someone thinks they need.

some people have more energy than others.

i'm a lazy fuck.

i couldn't imagine doing naff all 4 days after having the girls, was still bleeding like stuck pig and leaking like a sieve.

DH took each of the girls out in their buggies for some fresh air - good especially as DD2 had slight jaundice - and did some runs to the supermarket or shopping centre for bits and bobs we forget.

that was about it.

this time, DH has his fortnight of paternity leave + a fortnight's holiday and Mama will be here for a month in mid-November so i plan on allowing my auld, haggard body to recover and spending evenings on the couch marathon BFing and drinking wine.

But MKG, that is partly my point - there should, in my view, be more recognition of the need for new mums and newborn babies to take it easy: and I mean recognition by the mothers themselves and those around them. But as I've already said, I can see others don't share that view.

You see I was so frustrated, TC, that I didn't do any lying in bed with DS just put my grappling hooks all over the walls!!

I took DD out for a lovely stroll at about 36 hrs old as I needed some air (and we wanted to show off. Neighbours all saw us and were quite shocked - one of them said "but weren't you still PG yesterday?". We got lots of cards and flowers from people on the street

I do think I over did it a bit though, the 4 mile walk at 4 days was a bit much. More because I had become paranoid (hormones!) and thought DP was going to steer the pram into the lak/road/brambles. He was a bit peed off

Cross-posted, we have another supporter (4 vs the rest of mumsnet)

dd1 was born at the start of the loveliest summer we've ever had in all my years in scotland (2003).

we were in hospital for about 5 days because of the forceps delivery and my subsequent post-partum infection.

DH used to adore taking her in her pram for walks to the beach.

with DD2, he'd take her to the park about a quarter of a mile away, with it's lovely view of all that is Edinburgh to us.

with this one, we've got a gorgeous loch just made to stroll along for DS.

If it's what you want to do and you have the support, then it's a lovely idea. Being looked after and being able to rest and recover.

But equally it's fine if you want to be up and about.

IMO.

I don't think I was capable of leaving the house until dd was about a week old, but I had to go the supermarket when she was 10 days - great aunt was very taken aback (former midwife).

I do kind of get your point though. Dh thought that if I was capable of getting out and about when dd was so tiny then I couldn't have been that tired . As Marslady says, it's a few weeks later that it can catch up with you.

And I do remember seeing a mum with a tiny newborn in Ikea who was getting very stressed; food shopping is necessary, buying bits and bobs isn't.

People seem to recognise that women will be tearful after giving birth, and are at risk of PND in the weeks and months afterwards. But we also seem to think it normal that someone who has just grown a new human being, and then gone through, in childbirth, one of the most physically and emotionally demanding experiences that a human being can, will be stocking up on baked beans a couple of hours later. I really find it quite bizarre - birth is so momentous: if you can't take a moment in the immediate aftermath when can you?

I definately agree that for some going out to early can be detrimental. I could have come home after 6 hours but chose to stay for a night. A friend who has had 2 CS copes by staying secluded at homw with her family and close friends to help. Each to their own.

I went to John Lewis when DS was a couple of weeks old. We were sat in the cafe.

Woman of a certain age sat at next table asked about him. When I said he was 2 weeks old, she said 'He's very young to be in John Lewis isn't he?'

Fiofio - I've got three children, and I stayed in bed longer after my third than after the other two. And my second was 22 months when third was was born. No cleaners, nannies or cooks, just dh. Admittedly would be hard if no dh, or if dh had no time off, or was useless fucker.

"Erm, this business of lying in bed for a couple of weeks after the birth is a) fairly recent and b)was only for posh women."

Erm, no it wasn't. Not according to the reading I've done. Most women would have their relatives and friends to help them after the birth and would then return the favour after the birth. They would then be 'churched' at 40 days - ie would go to church and have prayer said for them to mark their return to the community. This 'time out' still happens today in more traditional societies, in all but the most impoverished communities.

yes dh is good but no other help and 5 other kids
it is easier for me to take the dcs out than stay in