to be absolutley grossed out by suspected 'pooh crumbs' in our bed fom when we had people staying over??

[Lowfat]

Honestly, I feel sick - I want to burn the sheets, the mattress, the bed and bleach the whole room.

IL's were staying they had our bed. We have just gone to change sheets with DH and found little tiny brown balls of ????? in the bottom area of the bed side whe FIL slept.

DH gathered the sheets around them when he saw them to prevent them from spilling and they are currently waiting to go in the machine.

The sheets will be washed entirely on thier own on a hot wash - at the risk of perishing the elastic, I would throw them away but we only have 2 bedding sets and can't really afford to buy a new one at the moment

IL's are not old or infirm, but FIL had a rotten stomach when he was here (or maybe it was normal but not a 'man smell' I am used to) but he stunk out the bathroom whenever he used it and then entire top floor when getting up and going to bed.

This is the first time they have stayed over with us in over 2 years and while I want to encourage interaction with our DC's I am not prepared to have my house made in to a smelly sh*t hole!

This is not a joke post BTW

barf!

i'd bet rid of those sheets or wash them and consign them to the paint sheets pile.

sleeping naked whilst a guest in someone's house is vile.

My sil once found what she thought was a splash of carbonara sauce on her sofa. It wasn't. The babysitter had had her boyfriend round though and ...

... sorry tmi for a Sunday pm.

well, hving worked on old peoples wards at hospitals/old peoples homes i can tell you exactly where the poo balls came from -

your fil obviously got shite all over his hands,and rubbed his hands together, causing the dry balls. This is common, especially after particularly runny shites (you said he was ill at the time).

One old bid used to manually excavate her own (rather large if I recall correctly) poo balls and store them either under her pillow or beside her plate on her tray

God now I remember why I gave that line of work up...

And I just remembered why if I start getting dementia, I'm going to top myself immediately.

I can't believe I actually clicked on this thread, nevermind read it.
I'd have to burn the whole bed, it's just too gross.

rofling at all this!!!!

ah thanks, needed a good laugh today!
POO CRUMBS!!!!

Maybe they were the tiny rolled up bits of loo paper from where he wiped his bum?

And he carried them in his cleft and released them in the bad while asleep.

I bet he didn't wash his hands after wiping either.

ew see thats the thing, people who drop poo crumbs in other peoples beds, also wipe poo smears on light switches and door handles, and transfer poo germs via kitchen supplies...never eat crisps or anything that a poo-crumb kinda person may have touched before you. I bet he is like that step child on the other thread who wiped his arse on the hand towel.

thanks for all this

am just going to visit my lav for a quick vom

you Brits are too nice.

next time, i'd get them a room in a nearby hotel and if they asked why, they'd get my Texas accent declaring, 'Are you kidding?! The fumigator just left! And I had to bonfire those poor sheets, they're not toilet paper, you know!'

aye that should do the trick alright nae mankysheets, nae pesky inlaws staying over

he wasn't making fairy cakes was he?

orchocolate crispy cake

Well, Lowfat, you're a bigger person than me, because after your post on 11:22:46 I'd have no problems causing a scene.

Oh, hell no.

You'd have heard the ol' Southern drawl booming, 'Eeew, who put their blood all over my couch?' Or I'd have just handed him some upholstery cleaner and a rag and told him, 'Well, it's not your lucky day, cuz this house is a 'You made the mess, you clean it up' house so on you go.'

Its just poo! But then I have been a nurse for a few years and so I am poo-immune. Agree with the detailed explanation given as to why you have poo crumbs instead of skid marks. Just remember if you ever visit a dementia ward never accept a malteser. Or a mars bar for that matter, the old buggers can get very creative.

lol and at shoegazer!

Ewwwgh!!!!

This thread is very gross and funny. Poor Lowfat. I'd not be inviting them again for a long long time! I fact I don't think I'd be keen to stay with them either...

How do you actually know they were poo? Didja sniff?

He might have slipped a chocolate muffin into the bedroom secretly because his errant DIL wasn't feeding him enough

Or perhaps he was wearing brown socks or had particularly dirty feet (didn't you say it was at the end...?)

Anyway YABU: I'd never inspect the sheets of my guests, just fold them quickly and stick them straight in a hot wash. Bodies leak.

Hmmm grape nuts for sure.

Would it have been better had they come from the arse of your own father I wonder?

We DILs can be hard on the PILs.

I think it was where he hadn't wiped his arse properly, therefore leaving poo in the crease. Then as he rolled over in the night (whilst having a wet dream), the poo started to roll into little balls and escaped to freedom.

Waaaaahhhhh, cocolepew - a wet dream too? Is there any crustyness present Lowfat?

boak

yum