to think this woman is a cow? (topic may offend/upset)

[crazybuslady]

Was waiting for a bus yesterday, while at bus stop I saw a mother, dd (approx age 4) and grandma come to bus stop, had seen them earlier walking down the street.

DD didnt want to go on the bus she was crying saying she wanted to stay with granny. Mother mentioned to granny than dd was tired - hadnt slept that day. Mother started to wind the child up eg "you ARE going on the bus"..."noooo mummy dont want to" ..."well you are so there!"

Petty back and forth argument which was frankly rediculas, dd tried to walk away from the bus stop, the mother turned it in to an almost game, mother was laughing and chasing her but shouting swear words at her and telling her she was going to "batter you when we get in" I was Then heard a whack, and looked round to see the mum hit the child 2x. Child started sobbing - from her point of view mum was chasing her laughing next min she was being hit)

Now hittings not to my taste, but I realise some people do this so I just tried to look away - small bus stop though so not really possible.

Child was then wingey (was being ignored by mum who only spoke to her to swear at her) Child then said "I am NOT goin on bus I want to go to grannys" (I though no fekking wonder) And the mother literally dragged dd by her arm along ground. DD fell to ground sobbing, mother grabbed her collar and lifted her up by it shouting and swearing and whacked her 5 more times.

At this point bus came, I told woman if she hit her dd in my sight once more id call police. (Now in retrospect I shouldnt have said that, I should have just called, but I was furious and not thinking straight) We got on same bus mother told me to "fucking go ahead then"...so I did. (mother was now dragging child up bus by arm, I dont mean pulling I mean literally dragging, then whacking her again when she wouldnt sit on seat.

Police car was sent right away but didnt arrive in time before she got off the bus I gave a description etc. But as she got off woman threatened to "batter my face in, if she hadnt got the child with her" (I felt like saying go on then, Id rather take the pain than a poor child, then you will go to prison, child will go to foster care and be better off)

I wish Id followed them, police didnt get them If I ever see them again will phone again.

If she does that in public wtf does she do at home.

This reminds me of once, when I saw a child having a tantrum when she was with her gran - the poor woman couldnt do anything with her, she must have been about four too - so strong enough to be quite a problem. The little girl just would not BUDGE!! i could see the lady was getting really upset - but thankfully someone intervened and saved the day, i think they knew the child. Totally different story i guess as the nan was obviously just being kind and persuasive with a little girl. But change this slightly to: uneducated, possibly young mother who has brought up in an environment where shouting, swearing and walloping are an every day thing. Yes at first she might have tried to persuade and play along, but i don't think it would be long before she lost the plot maybe. I could see this would be something i may have done with DD1 actually. Made a game of it, wrong thing to do, got frustrated and lost my temper and im sorry to say "shouted and sworn" but probably not hit, i might have done the wrist grabbing thing and i hate that too. Is it this persons fault that this is all she has learnt to do?

Seriously, it doesn't excuse it but maybe it highlights that there is really not enough support out there for mothers in difficult situations

hatrick - I think the point she was trying to make is that it's easier to restrain yourself in public. So if the mother behaves like this in public, how does she behave in private when she doesn't have the inhibition of a public audience?

I don't think 'the mum just snapped/having a crap day /who knows her circumstances are?', can be used all the time. Some people are just nasty, bullies, who abuse children to feel superior.

I don't think 'the mum just snapped/having a crap day /who knows her circumstances are?', can be used all the time. Some people are just nasty, bullies, who abuse children to feel superior.

Why oh why is there always someone who will say "oh judgy judgy, mum was having a bad dad, child might be a fuckwit, what do you do with a 4 year old who wont get on a bus" I tell you what you do you pick them up and carry them not beat the fuck out of them.

What do you have to do in the world for someone to say "thats wrong" with out flipping through the guardian to see if it is PC or not?

Oh poor poor child rapist he was having a bad doy, how can you judge him, broken home, low self worth, toxic parents.

Some people need to get a grip on the real world, because while you are all trying to out PC the next person the moral fiber of this planet is being eaten by the scum crewling out from the woodwork, that we must all play nice with because it is non PC to say stop

Woohoo as a mother that gives me a right to abuse my child, so glad that was made clear, will ask the other half if he fancys a spot of child abuse before dinner as a parent its out right.

Was there no CCTV on the bus ?
Birmingham is absolutely crawling with CCTV camera's at bus stops and on them.
Hopefully if the Police caught up with this woman she'd be put on a course to teach her other methods of handling her anger and make her a better parent, if that's how Granny parented her it's difficult to break the cycle.
And I disagree others would have reacted if it was that bad, my brother was being hit with a baseball bat around the head in the street and people were moving out the way so avoid being hit and doing nothing, he could have been killed.

hatrick, i have gave my child a single smack on occasion in the home .
dicovered that it didn't work for me and have moved onto other forms of punishment. i.e naughty corner.

as for the audience issue.

if in public i remove my child to a toilet or somewhere as i feel it's embarassing for other parents to witness you dealing with a naughty child.

for example i'm in a restaurant i will not ruin everyones peace by taking my child into the nearest corner. i shall take them to the toilet. let them take a tantrum in the toilets corner. and return into the restaurant when the child is calm.

Kerry'smum the point is as parent you're main job in life is not to loose the plot, full stop.

This is more than a mum having a bad day.
Surely our role in society is to take collective responsibility for our youngsters?
I think the OP was right to be concerned and to act accordingly.
Appalling behaviour

Kerrymum, if her hands were full, how did she manage to keep on hitting her child

And frankly, km the fact that it was the mother hitting the child doesn't make it excusable.

I am having a bad day but I wont be lashing out at the DCs.

If this woman was so free to hit out in public what is she like in private?

I have siad it before and I will say it again, just because someone ^can have a child does not mean they should^

hatrick did you read any of the other posts i was discussing with the other mums on this thread?

well if I got to the stage where the only way I could controll my child was in the way described in the op " mother grabbed her collar and lifted her up by it shouting and swearing and whacked her 5 more times. "
then I WOULD DESERVE THE POLICE BEING CALLED.

(sorry caps stuck) I am not a halo mum I have smacked and sworn but this was ott.
(Kerrymum do stop)

Greggs sausage rolls are the nicest on the planet (& nothing is as good as one of their chocolate eclairs). MMJ, you have risen in my estimation.

I always try not to judge when I see harrassed parents etc because I accept I do not know the whole back ground and all I am seeing is a snap shot, however, what the OP has described would have been too much for me too. I would have tackled her as well.

your all very brave. i'd have been scared of meeting her at bus stop again and her trying to give me a kicking like she threatened.

that is COMPLETELY different. The teacher is not his mother. I am.

And our Parental Responsibility Rights are that we can knock nine bells out of our child and no one else can even put a hand on their shoulder.

Will she be having a bad day if she gives the OP a smacking??
Don't worry crazybuslady, people that beat small children are not brave enough to hit an adult.