to think this woman is a cow? (topic may offend/upset)

[crazybuslady]

Was waiting for a bus yesterday, while at bus stop I saw a mother, dd (approx age 4) and grandma come to bus stop, had seen them earlier walking down the street.

DD didnt want to go on the bus she was crying saying she wanted to stay with granny. Mother mentioned to granny than dd was tired - hadnt slept that day. Mother started to wind the child up eg "you ARE going on the bus"..."noooo mummy dont want to" ..."well you are so there!"

Petty back and forth argument which was frankly rediculas, dd tried to walk away from the bus stop, the mother turned it in to an almost game, mother was laughing and chasing her but shouting swear words at her and telling her she was going to "batter you when we get in" I was Then heard a whack, and looked round to see the mum hit the child 2x. Child started sobbing - from her point of view mum was chasing her laughing next min she was being hit)

Now hittings not to my taste, but I realise some people do this so I just tried to look away - small bus stop though so not really possible.

Child was then wingey (was being ignored by mum who only spoke to her to swear at her) Child then said "I am NOT goin on bus I want to go to grannys" (I though no fekking wonder) And the mother literally dragged dd by her arm along ground. DD fell to ground sobbing, mother grabbed her collar and lifted her up by it shouting and swearing and whacked her 5 more times.

At this point bus came, I told woman if she hit her dd in my sight once more id call police. (Now in retrospect I shouldnt have said that, I should have just called, but I was furious and not thinking straight) We got on same bus mother told me to "fucking go ahead then"...so I did. (mother was now dragging child up bus by arm, I dont mean pulling I mean literally dragging, then whacking her again when she wouldnt sit on seat.

Police car was sent right away but didnt arrive in time before she got off the bus I gave a description etc. But as she got off woman threatened to "batter my face in, if she hadnt got the child with her" (I felt like saying go on then, Id rather take the pain than a poor child, then you will go to prison, child will go to foster care and be better off)

I wish Id followed them, police didnt get them If I ever see them again will phone again.

If she does that in public wtf does she do at home.

cocole

I once stopped to help a man I saw lying on the floor in the car park. Fortunately an ambulance car was nearby so someone stayed with my kids inthe car while I went and got the paramedic. We both helped him up but I was and worried that they let him drive home.

A friend of ours is severely disabled from sickle cell (she was the first Midlander to be diagnosed and ill for a long time before diagnosis) her one leg is severely shorter than the other and her only one leg bends, but only a little bit. She also has epilepsy. The amount of times she has had a fit and fallen or slipped over in the snow or on a moving bus and people don't help her because they assume she's drunk when she is quite obviously disabled. But then we don't see past wheelchairs enough to realise that you can be severely disabled without needing one.

What happened to the good Samaritans? Why are we too scared to help out?

I called the police because an upstairs neighbour sounded like they were rowing and there was a lot of banging. I put the phone down, looked outside and there were police running from all directions! I don't know what was happening, it could have been nothing, but it's not my call to make. I go on what I see and hear and let the real law enforcers decide if something needs dealing with or if it was nothing. At another house we regularly had to call the police out for the neighbours as he was a drunk who used to beat his wife. It got to the point where we only had to say "^Sid"'s at it again" and they'd be there in seconds, they didn't need explanations.

I don't get why it's ok to do something to a child that done to anyone else would be seen as an assault?

I suspect a lot of you on this thread are members of neighbourhood watch.

LOL at the sausage roll. What about if she was being given a slice of aduki bean tortilla? Would the punishment have been proportionate in that case?

lol Swedes, I'm in the process of starting the estate RA

scottishmum007 I disagree with you. KM is just trying to make this thread hers.(KM knows I like her but imo this is true)
she did this the other day as well.
she uses the word bullying to describe her treatment on this thread. yet has defended a grown woman attacking a small child

no doubt there are other things the op cold have done.......but most of them would have put her in danger.

Still no answers. If a man is stressed, has a bad day, has just found out that he has cancer- does that give him the right to thump a woman. If not, why not? Please discuss. Someone!

Can't argue with you there cory! I agree. Like you say - man in stressful job, finds out he's got terrible illness, wife burns dinner, man beats her up and pulls her round kitchen by her hair. Oh dear, well, he's under terrible strain. She shouldn't have burned his meal. He's normally such a lovely man. He very rarely hits her, only once every few months when he's very stressed. He really shouldn't do it, but it's not that big a deal, she'll get over it.

I think not and I don't see why some of us treat our children in a way we would never dream of treating any other human being.

Because some people think they own their children.

itati that is one of my biggest bugs! I get so wound up by the phrase "Parental Rights" there is no such thing! When will people learn they have no rights? You brought this being into existence, you have a responsibility to it.

Exactly, there is no parental rights only parental responsibilities.

Just let KM have her opinion, I don't see what she's done wrong. I don't think she's stirring anything up. She just sees it from a different perspective and I don't believe she is defending the woman, she is trying to think of reasons why she dragged her DD on the bus. Everything in life is not all black and white unfortunately.

been on various discussion forums before where one or two posters don't agree with the majority and all hell breaks loose. it's ashame that others can't just accept that we all have different opinions on a topic.
and there's nothing wrong with stating that you don't agree, yes, that's the whole point of a discussion. But it's the way some posters have worded it, and toyed with words that really makes the difference between a fair debate and beating folk up with sticks for seeing things differently.

scottishmum07
I think you also have failed to read the op's clarifications of events properly. She did not just "drag" her dd on the bus. There was a lot more to it, and the abuse took place on the bus stop for quite a while before the bus even arrived. There is a difference between dragging a child on the bus, and hitting it 7-8 times, swearing and calling it names.

KM is a strong and strongminded poster, she can defend her view. I like her, respect her, she knows this, but like 2shoes it is possible to disagree without taking offence or being offended.

There is no pack mentality. Only a differing opinion. KM is allowed to have hers, she is not ridiculed. She is on the other hand met with some surprise that she is disagreeing...

i think it would have been ott if it was one slap around the back of legs to call the police. then you could argue that she may have just been having a bad fay/lost her cool etc. but this was clearly more than that!!

its not okay to threaten to batter your child when you get home or to drag a child across the ground screaming and swearing at her. myu dd1 is four and can be extremely diffiuclt at times, particularly while we are out! at times i have resorted to a sharp slap on the back of her legs to restrain her/calm her down/stop her running into roads. i normally dont but i am human there is only so much that i can take.

i have never ever hit her repeatedly or threatened to batter her. or dragged her along her along the groung or swore at her!! i have picked her up and carried her kicking and screaming onto buses and i have said "you just wait untill we get home..there will be no tv and no dessert and you are going to your room untill can behave in a manner fitting to a child"

if i had saw something similar i think i would have done exactly the same thing.

i haven't got time to detail exactly what happened from the op's take on it, i was just using a snippit of info from her post so yes I was aware of the whole shinannigans. it does come across as extremely abusive, all i'm saying is that maybe the woman had many other issues going on. as others have pointed out, it's anecdotal so we're not really sure what the true story is (not that I don't believe OP, but she was a complete stranger so we had no idea of her background).
i've not really got much else to say about it, it's really been unfortunate that the OP had to witness that incident.

The point is we all have issues, it doesn't make it alright to assault your child.

what issues give you the right to ........

"And the mother literally dragged dd by her arm along ground. DD fell to ground sobbing, mother grabbed her collar and lifted her up by it shouting and swearing and whacked her 5 more times. "

to loose your cool is one thing but this isn't a case of a mum just shouting at her kid and giving kid a slap.

but this was much more than that.

Ok DS2 age 7 is being an out and out shit, he came out of school all sugared up (yet another birthday) he has forght with his brother, insulted his friend calling her a name, wound up his dad and thrown money at me, My blood sugar is 16.5 my head is about to burst I have dinner to cook lunches to make for tomorrow and a pile of ironing the size of a small hippo.

At what point is sending him to his room to calm down think about what he has said/done not enough, I am having a bad evening so shall I beat the crap out of him now or wait another half hour??

I could have slapped him silly but I sent him to his room had a chat about why he was there gave him 10 mins and now he has said sorry and is building k-nex with his daddy.... If only he was old enough to iron

scottishmum007 on Wed 16-Jul-08 18:39:39
"i haven't got time to detail exactly what happened from the op's take on it, i was just using a snippit of info from her post so yes I was aware of the whole shinannigans. it does come across as extremely abusive, all i'm saying is that maybe the woman had many other issues going on."

Yes and all we are doing is to point out that nobody would have excused a man who was hitting a woman because he had other issues going on in his life.

I have never seen that excuse used on Mumsnet for a man who repeatedly hit his partner. That is the difference I would like you and KerryMum to clarify.

Why would a man not be allowed the excuse of "issues"? Do men not have them? Or are they supposed to control themselves anyway? And if men are supposed to control themselves, then why not women? I am genuinely interested in the answer to this.

So if DH was having a bad day and decided to shout/ swear at my drag me along a road, hit my a few times, that would be ok would it, I mean if he had issues....

Disclaimer DH never has and never would raise his hand to me (of anyone)

I cant believe this is still rumbling on.

I am glad to see that its moved onto a more philosophical general discussion rather than a personal attack on that one woman

I know you are probs all gonna shout at me that I have changed my tune.. but I think its a sad refelction of our society that people wont stop to help out someone they dont know. (just dont think phoning the police was helping in this case.. but hey I've said that already)

I applaud anyone who till take the time to stop and help someone in trouble ...

it is not a personal attack or bullying to disagree with someone, this thread has some diametrically opposed posts but that does not constitute bullying/getting at/pack mentality

it is a demonstrable swathe of (majority) opinion hold one opinion. some posters hold another opinion

so give it a rest with all the bullying slurs- it is inane and inaccurate

you know what this is what one should expect ona discussion board, not sycophantically agreement

nice point of view frasersmummy.
oops I'm back, just can't help myself (DH watching Dr Who, have to fill the time in somehow!).

stop it with all those big words, scottishmummy. i can't keep up, needing to get ma dictionary oot every 2 mins...