rude worker in whsmith upset my 8yr old d

[pastapestofor6]

my dd 8 has been saving up to buy some hsm magazine, she has got the required 3.50 so today was the happy day for the long anticipated purchase to take place,
she went into smiths, I sat on bench directly i mean DIRECTLY outside with 2 younger ds's, she entered shop and the shop assistant[who i might add i dont know] said 'where is your mum?'
dd says 'just outside on the bench', woman then says 'what you doing in here' dd replies'just looking around', woman says 'do you have any money?' dd replies 'yes £3.50' to which woman replies'well you wont get anything in here for that' at which point dd fled the shop white as a sheet and shaking
I made to go in the shop and give her what for, but dd begged me to leave it, considering her upset i did so, very reluctantly i might add!
but aibu for letting her go into shop on her own [she is nearly 9]
and if not , then what should i do?

[RegenerAitch]

nothing yet. but given that the OP seems to have uncovered a policy at work, then it should be brought to the attention of the people in charge so that they can decide what to do with it. tbh i'd be more cross at the customer service response than at the woman by this stage. all they had to do was apologise and say that they would take the matter seriously, whereas they excused the behaviour on the grounds that children have been running around that store.

[notasheep]

WHSMITH are the pits,I asked for a book by Benazir Bhutto and they said is HE a footballer
Dont shop there anymore

[pastapestofor6]

my daughter has no idea that i even made the call, do you think that it is something we all sat down and gloated over around the tea table?
I just dont see how my dd deserved to be spoken to in that way, she didnt cry at all, was just shocked that an adult would be mean for no reason at all whatsoever, yes I do see what you are saying about going in/confrontation/ immediate resolution, but my dd HATES confrontation , and at 8, I am kind of inclined to indulge her a little in that respect

[StealthPolarBear]

lol notasheep, we all know SHE is a swimmer

[Flashman]

I was summing up for you, in the Op you did not ask what "I" would do granted, but someone did ask that and I answered. This is Not a Parenting thread, it is a am i being unresonable thread. And you did not ask what to do if someone did the same to their child but but aibu for letting her go into shop on her own [she is nearly 9]
and if not , then what should i do?

So I do not think you are being unreasonable in letting go into the shop. And you have my comments on what I think you should do.

[pastapestofor6]

Benazir Bhutto the famous long distance runner you mean surely

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

I'm not defending the assistant - what she said was wrong, and she should have been upbraided for it. No doubt her manager has had a word. She may even now be crying herself to sleep over it.

But what do you know of her life? Has she young children that keep her awake at night? Is she menopausal? Nursing elderly parents? Had she just discovered her husband has been unfaithful to her with her best friend's husband? You haven't a clue, but so many of you would see her sacked for upsetting (not yelling and swearing at, or hitting, or molesting) a child? Really?

That's what I mean by "empathy". Thinking, maybe the world has more perspectives than just mine, and maybe it's not the end of the world if a shop assistant snaps at me/my dd.

Of course I understand protective mothering, but learning how to cope with difficult situations is a big part of growing up, and sometimes we need not to support our child's every reaction.

[pastapestofor6]

no its not a parenting thread, its a parenting forum

[StealthPolarBear]

Yes, I'm always getting her mixed up with duncan goodhew

[Flashman]

TheHedgeWitch - ok I totally agree that your way to deal with this is 100 times better, and does make this whs worker look a bit worse.

[StealthPolarBear]

OLKN, she is in a customer service role and if her performance / attitude has been affected by one of the situations you describe her manager should know and be sympathetic. WHS as a company cannot let that sort of attitude be displayed to their paying customers who have done nothing wrong. It hopefully shouldn't come down to sacking a menopausal new parent with personal issues.
If she was a doctor who made a huge error of judgement because of personal life, would that be OK? Customer service is what shops do!

[pastapestofor6]

hedgewitch has flashman got a secret crush on you?

[Flashman]

err it is lots of different things - but this particualr one is called Am i being unreasonable - and that kind of sets it up for a debate. If you wanted parenting advice there is a thread for that - and i would not have dreamed of posting on that as I don't have a child.

[TheMagnificent7]

Oldbiddyknowsfuckall - I feel good about insulting Flashman. And I'm still going to feel good for pointing out again that you compared the OP's child to a child with special needs this morning which is so f**ked up. Everyone deserves good service in a shop, and to use a term like SEN as an insult shows how low you are on the foodscale anyway. All children, regardless of circumstance, could show you a lesson in compassion.

Are you smoking Flashman's cigar ?

[TheMagnificent7]

And when I said Flashman should be reading How To Win Friends And Influence people, that wasn't an insult. It's the best book on conduct and customer service ever written

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

SPB, she's not a doctor though, is she? Nobody died.

OP has made her feelings known to WHS, and WHS have dealt with it appropriately, I would hope. I understand that OP doesn't feel vindicated by the bland words she heard from WHS, but it would be a breach of the assistant's privacy to go into details about any disciplinary proceedings.

I'm sure most of us have had days (in whatever paid, or indeed, unpaid role) when we've acted badly, and regretted it.

It's the way the hysteria got whipped up!

[Flashman]

TheMagnificent you have not insulted me once yet.

[Flashman]

I liked how to lose friends and alienate people by toby young myself.

[thumbwitch]

this thread is amazing - it started off so snesibly and has descended into mayhem.

FWIW - WHSmith's attitude stinks - they should have made an unequivocal apology; as anyone knows the customer is always right, even when you might secretly think they are as mad as a box of frogs!

The woman in the shop is a bigoted moron, regardless of her home situation, who doesn't know the value of the goods and who chooses to lie to a child who was doing nothing wrong.

pastapesto has every right to be upset about the situation and to do something about it. And now she has done something about it, a bigger issue has emerged about WHS overall customer service attitude - see para 1 again.

Flashman is surely the name of the bully in Tom Brown's Schooldays?

[notasheep]

Thumbwitch- I was being serious

[thumbwitch]

PS - I did not mean to imply in any shape, way or form that I thought the OP was as mad as a box of frogs - I don't think that at all! But some customer complaints are from people who are...

[TheMagnificent7]

I called you a cock. You cock.

And the Toby Young book was shit.

Flashman is also the series of books by George MacDonald Fraser. Flashman is described as "Celebrated Victorian bounder, cad, and lecher, Sir Harry Flashman, V.C"

Fanjo to you and I