rude worker in whsmith upset my 8yr old d

[pastapestofor6]

my dd 8 has been saving up to buy some hsm magazine, she has got the required 3.50 so today was the happy day for the long anticipated purchase to take place,
she went into smiths, I sat on bench directly i mean DIRECTLY outside with 2 younger ds's, she entered shop and the shop assistant[who i might add i dont know] said 'where is your mum?'
dd says 'just outside on the bench', woman then says 'what you doing in here' dd replies'just looking around', woman says 'do you have any money?' dd replies 'yes £3.50' to which woman replies'well you wont get anything in here for that' at which point dd fled the shop white as a sheet and shaking
I made to go in the shop and give her what for, but dd begged me to leave it, considering her upset i did so, very reluctantly i might add!
but aibu for letting her go into shop on her own [she is nearly 9]
and if not , then what should i do?

oh gosh custardo, didnt expect my post to warrant this either
but now I am beyond irritated

it IS personal you loon, its MY dd we are talking about ?????

Well custardo that very grown up.

And no not man - child!!

you might think its patronising flashman, but seriously, when it's your child - the whole world changes - and its not worth trying to explain. as a community of parents - we know how pesto feels when her precious child is rebuffed after working hard for the £3.50 and the excitement building ofgoing into town to purchase something longed for.

can't even begin to take meaning until you actually have children - and no matter how elequently we try and explain - you just won't get it.

until its your daughter - then my dear 0 i guarentee you will want to rip someones head of and shit down their neck ....over £3.50

clearly you are.

How is it personnel I don't know you from Adam.

sorry pesto - i'm not entertaining a 10 year old - my teenagers are in bed.

cust - one question did you read through the thread or just join at the end?

Flash it is difficult being a male voice on mumsnet and it's refreshing to have a male perspective.

What happened to OP daughter was upsetting.

When your little sprog pops out, have a look at sprog and think, how would I feel if someone was deliberatly nasty. Then you will understand.

Still looking forward to your announcement. Does your DW MN?

are u quite sane flashman?
its personal because I asked for advice about a situation that happened to ME and MY daughter
how more personal would u like

Dear God, is this still going on? So, the shop assistant was rude, little girl cried, and what - you want the woman to lose her job over it? I cannot believe how absurdly inflated this incident has become!

Ok, OP is shy, her dd is shy. Well, my granny was crippled with shyness, and raised her kids the same way. My mum decided - bravely, imho - that her children would not suffer the same irrational phobias as she herself did, so when we were faced with similar incidents, we were told to get on with it. She did not reinforce our fears, and guess what, we can all now deal with "authority figures" in a calm and rational manner.

You, OP, had a perfect opportunity to take your daughter back into the store, explain that she'd saved up the money, and stay with her while she completed the purchase. You could have shown her how to conduct herself appropriately when faced with petty Nazis.

Instead, the pair of you ran away crying, adopted a passive-aggressive "I'll get her" attitude when phoning to complain, and are now whinging about boycotts and compen-bloody-sation! I cannot believe how pathetic this is! Get a bloody grip, woman!

IMHO, it is the role of the parent to raise his/her children to be able to fend for themselves. She's nearly nine, half-way to being an adult, and you're still wiping her nose for her.

Unreal.

shakes head

Go on then, hunt down the rude shop assistant, surround her house with outraged MNetters with pitchforks and Burn the Bitch!

where in my post oldfarkinglady did you gather the useless piece of info/supposistion that I was shy
I am far from shy actually, just restrained in how I conduct myself in public

Oldladyknowsnothing: "You, OP, had a perfect opportunity to take your daughter back into the store, explain that she'd saved up the money, and stay with her while she completed the purchase. You could have shown her how to conduct herself appropriately when faced with petty Nazis."

This bit of your post is useful.
The rest is not.

Seems you spent too long learning assertiveness and ran out of time for empathy and tact.

So not shy, just passive-aggressive? Nice lesson to teach your child.

but it is not personel - I don't know you it was a question I answered as a question, how can it be personal i don't know you.

And i really can't see why you are so worked up.

I have said I can't see what is so bad about the comments. I was asked what i would think if someone did the same to me - answered that. Thought it was a waste of time writting letters to them - and commented about the phone call you made. Said a bit about life being short and not worth the effort of getting worked up about something so small.

how is this passive-aggressive? why should she have confronted the woman when what she wanted to do was comfort her child? this is a customer service matter, if it's a store-wide policy to treat children like little criminals then i for one would like to know about it. if not, then i imagine that the people running WHS would like to know about it and attend to the matter. that's all that is being proposed here.

you were NOT asked what would you do if some one did the same to you flashman
you wre ASKED what would you do if someone did the same to your CHILD
why oh why can you not get it
I give up
have a good night mulling over your small self perceived moral victory on a PARENTING thread mr non parent

TheHedgeWitch - I am sorry i did not see your reply other wise I would have taken that on board. But I really struggle to see what is wrong with the comment.

OldLady I started the boycott suggestion so don't blame pesto for that.
Your second post makes slightly more sense than your incredibly rude, insulting and offensive first post. Yes, the OP could have gone straight back in and put the idiot woman in her place however:

1. That is assuming that she got a full, clear story from her DD in the first minute or so on leaving the shop. It sounds as though her DD was a little upset (lets leave storied of how you wouldn't be, your mother wouldn't be; your Auntie's dogs best friend wouldn't be, this is HER dd and she WAS)

1. From a conversation which she had, rightly or wrongly, with head office, it would appear that it is company policy to treat children as guilty until proved innocent, and their 'apology' for the woman's attitude was a bit of an excuse - "yeah but..". So the question is, what now?

Have read old lady post twice. I think she has a point.

The WHS woman was a bitch though.

lol aitch i spent hours crafting that response will you please not x post with me (but faster) saying the same thing more eloquently and in fewer words??

How about empathy for the poor woman you're all hounding? FFS, phone calls, letters to head office, demanding she's sacked... because a wee girl cried? A little bit of proportion here?

The OP's daughter is going to face many challenges in life, some of which may even involve feeling a bit embarassed from time to time. If she can learn to feel that and still stand her ground, she'll learn something useful. Instead, she's learned to get upset over very little, run away, blow it up into a huge incident - and still gain no resolution, so she (and/or her mother) is left fuming impotently without having ever addressed the "culprit".

Has anyone been made to feel "good", or even "OK" about this incident? What has been achieved?

"How about empathy for the poor woman you're all hounding?"

Ok, I suggest she goes on some serious customer service training and learns who pays her wages. Unpaid training.