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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

rude worker in whsmith upset my 8yr old d

288 replies

pastapestofor6 · 10/07/2008 22:17

my dd 8 has been saving up to buy some hsm magazine, she has got the required 3.50 so today was the happy day for the long anticipated purchase to take place,
she went into smiths, I sat on bench directly i mean DIRECTLY outside with 2 younger ds's, she entered shop and the shop assistant[who i might add i dont know] said 'where is your mum?'
dd says 'just outside on the bench', woman then says 'what you doing in here' dd replies'just looking around', woman says 'do you have any money?' dd replies 'yes £3.50' to which woman replies'well you wont get anything in here for that' at which point dd fled the shop white as a sheet and shaking
I made to go in the shop and give her what for, but dd begged me to leave it, considering her upset i did so, very reluctantly i might add!
but aibu for letting her go into shop on her own [she is nearly 9]
and if not , then what should i do?

OP posts:
Flashman · 11/07/2008 17:59

LittleBella I have had a shop assistant imply that myself and DW would not be able to afford a leather sofa we were sitting on - some would consider it rude - we just thought it was funny - and our laughing at her in the shop was much more effective than getting annoyed.

Life is to short to get wound up by every slight. Ringing up and writting letters take what 30 40 mins out of your life - do something else with the time. I read that you only get around 650,000 hours over a lifetime - that is not many can you afford to waste them on something that trival?? Just boycott the shop. Simple.

FrannyandZooey · 11/07/2008 18:03

Flashman 2 adults are more than able to laugh at that kind of rudeness
an 8 year old really isn't and shouldn't be expected to be able to IMO

Flashman · 11/07/2008 18:07

My point was more of the poster getting so worked up now that she has called head office - then rejected what they have said - and people are saying write letters go to the papers.

And Franny I was asked what would I do if someone spoke to me like that.

squeaver · 11/07/2008 18:13

pastapesto - write directly to kate swann. She has a reputation for being switched-on and super-sensitive to customer service.

IME, WHSmith staff are crap.

FrannyandZooey · 11/07/2008 18:15

yes but implying an 8 year old will be able to take the same urbane view is a bit harsh
I would probably laugh if it happened to me - not if it happened to my ds who hasn't the same confidence or ability to deal with this type of crappy treatment

TenaciousG · 11/07/2008 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 20:12

Flashman there's no point boycotting a shop unless you tell them about it. They need to know why.

Original poster
pastapestofor6 · 11/07/2008 21:00

thanks eveyrone again for taking the time to post and give your opinions
flashman, no I am not out for blood, nor have I personally taken offence, my daughter is a very shy quiet little girl who has been earning the money for the mag through keeping her room clean and tidy hoovering and tidying the bookcase, i think she DESERVES to be treated a little better than a barrage of questions that she is barely able to deal with, and as for the armani reference....
I am undecided as to what to do now, dd has been today to buy the mag from tesco [arrrgh]
all is well in the pesto house, thanks once again all

OP posts:
Flashman · 11/07/2008 21:17

Little Bella - boycott it why do they need to know - do you tell someone that you are not talking to them so they know or do you just stop talking to them.

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 21:19

Flashman, if a shop doesn't know you're boycotting them and why, what is the point of doing so?

A customer/ retailer relationship is not the same as a personal one.

Flashman · 11/07/2008 21:23

You boycott it for your own satifaction - I myeself can't stand the twats in Dixons (if it still is Dixons been so long since I been in there - but I just did it and know they are not getting any of my money. i did not demand to see manger, or write letters. life really is to short to get worked up over something that little.

RegenerAitch · 11/07/2008 21:24

flashman... are you a dad yet?

Flashman · 11/07/2008 21:25

Not yet - and not likely to be - I think I might have throttled her before the birth.

Flashman · 11/07/2008 21:26

oh Ps there should be a smiley there before I get flamed.

margoandjerry · 11/07/2008 21:26

That's so unnecessary. Poor DD.

I would go in to the shop when DD is not around and ask to speak to the manager. I wrote to complain to Kate Swann about them stocking playboy pencil cases but got a brush off response.

It's such a shame - used to be a really family orientated shop.

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 21:26

Look for an eight year old, it's not that little.

It's like telling them that it doesn't matter that the doll is broken, fgs could they please stop crying about it and move on, because everyone's bored about it now.

This is about having some consideration for a child's feelings and acknowledging that they matter. Not dismissing it and making them feel that their concerns are trivial and not worth bothering about.

RegenerAitch · 11/07/2008 21:28

see... i'll be interested to see if your 'life's too short' attitude changes at all if your kid is treated like shit by an adult. i bet it will, tbh. you'll want to, er, throttle them.

Janos · 11/07/2008 21:28

pastapesto, I really felt for your daughter on reading the OP. I was a quiet, shy little girl too and would have been very upset by an adult speaking to me that way.

Good for you sticking up for your daughter.

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 21:29

Ah I wondered about your total lack of empathy flashman.

Are you about to become a Dad or something?

RegenerAitch · 11/07/2008 21:32

janos has hit the nail on the head for me personally. sometimes it's so important to be seen by your child not to tolerate this sort of behaviour. and sometimes it's important to teach them how to take a view on it and let it go. in having complained, i feel, that's what pastapesto has done.

ChukkyPig · 11/07/2008 21:36

Pasta, I am currently having an email war (well that's a bit strong, words anyway) about the daily star and where they choose to display it in our particular branch.

The people in the customer service email department are really getting on my t*ts now as they are not even reading what I am saying but sending out some irrelevant schpiel (sp?).

I think that you should complain to the manager of that particular store. He has to keep his customers happy to meet his targets, which isn't true of the email or phone people.

If you get an unsatisfactory response, or can't bring yourself to complain in person, you're going to have to boycott. I think I may need to do the same. Which will be very difficult for lots of very boring reasons.

Sorry for your DD take her to a hobby shop to spend her £3.50 instead! And point her in the direction of a nice friendly looking store person to make up for it!

jangly · 11/07/2008 21:36

Definitely write to the woman squeavor linked to. Its best to go straight to the top with a complaint and the chief executive is the right person.

margoandjerry · 11/07/2008 21:36

There is a tendency on MN among some posters to catastrophise everything that happens to children:

  • someone slightly raised their voice at my child who was running riot
  • I'm so upset because my child had to have a piece of junk food at a child's party
  • my child was bored for five minutes and it's really not on.

I do get quite annoyed with those posts and I can't help thinking our mothers and grandmothers would think we were a bunch of precious, pampered numbskulls.

HOWEVER, in this case a shop assistant was unnecessarily mean to a small child who was behaving impeccably. I tend not to look very kindly upon people who are mean to small children for no reason. So the tough guy approach is unnecessary imho.

Flashman · 11/07/2008 21:37

Well Pinky is due date is 23rd July. Its not a lack of empathy - , but I just can't see what the big deal is, but then I never was a shy child.

Oh and I really think that my life is short will kick in even more - do I really want to waste my life on WHS - as margoandjerry said - she wrote a letter, spoke to the manager and result sweet FA. Would have been much better to just go fuck it, boycott them and read a newspaper or something in the hour two hours you have saved.

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 21:39

totally agree m&j

Why is it difficult to boycott WHS? I don't think I've been in a branch for years (not through any active boycott, just haven't felt the need) and it's had no impact on my life whatsoever. What do they sell anyway? Newspapers and books? You can get newspapers anywhere and I get books from the library or Amazon. I can see it's a problem if your post office is there though.