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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to see red in Tesco's

87 replies

superflybaby · 07/07/2008 11:03

For some dumb reason me & DP took DD to Tesco's yesterday, I normally do Tesco shop on own, but we had loads of time & wanted to spend whole day together for a change.

To cut to the chase, DD threw a tantrum, not all that bad but was crying. DP was holding her and this guy goes 'will you shut that fucking baby up!'

The guy ran, DP put DD back in trolley and went after him, but couldn't find him. Wish he had as I wanted to give him a piece of friendly advice, to put it nicely!

Can't believe how rude some people are. Incredible.

OP posts:
themoon66 · 07/07/2008 11:08

Perhaps he had a hell of a hangover.

lazarou · 07/07/2008 11:10

I bet he goes back to his mates now 'yeah, i did that thing again when i shout abuse at someone then run away hur hur hur'

Original poster
superflybaby · 07/07/2008 11:22

well if he did have a hangover he really shouldn't hang around the nappy isle in Tesco's! I know that is the last place I would be.

OP posts:
nametaken · 07/07/2008 11:38

oh that is so unbelievably funny. I bet he does it all the time - one day, someone will catch up with him and then it will be even more funny

Saymyname · 07/07/2008 12:27

What a loser.

What was your Dp going to do when he caught him though?

milknosugar · 07/07/2008 12:33

why did your dp chase him? thats either ridiculously childish or needlessly aggressive.

he prob shouldnt have said anything, but i hate crying babies in supermarkets, those of us who have managed to escape the kids dont want to hear it. if you are on your own and cant do anything about it its different, but he could have taken her out. i ran all the way round a supermarket once, missed half of what i wanted - purely because there was a baby crying and all my hormones were screaming at me to sort it out. it wasnt mine, but it may as well have been all the stress i felt

so yanbu to see red, but your dp is unreasonable to chase him and yes the guy was rude but with good reason.

i think thats one of the most waffly, inconclusive posts i have ever managed

VictorianSqualor · 07/07/2008 12:41

YANBU to be pissed off at the remark but what on earth was your DP playing at?

Goober · 07/07/2008 12:44

What a 'big man'

I'd have ripped him up for arse-paper.

mankymummy · 07/07/2008 12:46

um... in defence of the DP.

someone from the next door but one shouted out the window for me to shut my f*ing car alarm up once. it only went off for about 5 seconds, it was 11am and they have really noisy parties til all hours.

i knocked and knocked on their door screeching... "who said that? who said that? come out here you little madam".

thank god no-one came out.

OPs DP was justifiably furious i would think...

ScottishMummy · 07/07/2008 12:48

Yes man rude but your DP aggressive and impulsive to chase him

you all sound as daft as each other. acaveman grunting at baby andyour DP having a berky and chasing him

what was he going to do?
Remonstrate
Fight?

itati · 07/07/2008 12:48

The swearing was out of order but in the current climate we live in I wouldn't have gone after him.

Kewcumber · 07/07/2008 12:50

I understand you being annoyed but why did you pay it any attention? Random people say all sorts of stupid things, you just need to feel cross about it and tehn let it go. You will not make rude people less rude by confronting them IME.

lucyellensmum · 07/07/2008 12:51

If that had been my DP he would probably be in prison by now, or i would - there have been times when the screaming babes in tesco are almost enough to send me over the edge (especially when its mine!) but i would never dream of saying anything

ScottishMummy · 07/07/2008 12:53

try a bit of anger management.deep breath, ignore the stimulus. focus. remain calm

Original poster
superflybaby · 07/07/2008 13:34

Ok then, my mistake. It's obviously perfectly acceptable to say 'shut that fucking baby up' to someone and infront of a 2 yo and not expect an apology.

Why should people like that go along in life thinking their behaviour is acceptable? people need to be told!!!

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 07/07/2008 13:38

no-one has said its acceptable.

Iklboo · 07/07/2008 13:39

He may have had mental health issues.
Also he's not going to shout abuse and then apologise for it is he?
He was incredibly rude but your DP shouldn't have gone after him - anything could have happened

Goober · 07/07/2008 13:41

Superflybaby.
I'm with you.
I would have kicked off my shoes and legged it after him.
What a wanker!(And clearlly a childless wanker at that!)

Kewcumber · 07/07/2008 13:41

I'm just bemused that you think an adult who does that sort of thing is likely to apologise.

ReverseThePolarity · 07/07/2008 13:41

YANBU. What a tosser to say that to your dp. Bit silly of your dp to run after him though; could've ended up nastily.

You might find this useful for next time though!

I do hate the way though in this country as soon as we hear a crying baby we get all angry and nasty because want people to stop that noise. The nasty looks you get if your lo is crying! In some other countries, the sound of a crying baby is enough to make people run over and try to soothe the baby for you!

And you know, supermarkets are not baby free zones. If you want to "escape the kids" why not go to a pub where kids aren't allowed (there are plenty)? If you go to a supermarket, expect crying children! It's the nasty looks that get kids smacked in parents, because others want to "see parents doing something".

lazarou · 07/07/2008 13:42

"You will not make rude people less rude by confronting them IME."

Exactly, it's a waste of energy

ReverseThePolarity · 07/07/2008 13:42

"in parents"?

"in supermarkets"

onepieceoflollipop · 07/07/2008 13:43

Of course what that man dead was incredibly rude and provocative.

However these sort of people quite possibly won't change by someone going up to them and addressing it, regardless of the approach used.

I am not sure if you have responded to people enquiring what your dp intended to do had he caught up with this man? This would have in all likelihood ended up in a physical fight, or at the very least the man making further abusive remarks/comments.

"people need to be told" - perhaps, but I am not convinced that it makes a lot of difference, not in this scenario anyway. The man was unlikely to make a grovelling apology (even though he owed you one).

flubdub · 07/07/2008 13:43

Christ, id be bloody furious! And upset! I dont know what my dp would have done, but he wouldnt have just shrugged it off!
It was rude, hurtful, unnessesary, and WITHOUT good reason!yanbu

onepieceoflollipop · 07/07/2008 13:44

What that man dead should have course read what that man did.

LOL