Aibu to ask for worst wedding stories ?

[Dippt]

I’m sat here sick and I was scrolling facebook and in my memories were photos from genuinely the worst wedding we’ve ever been to. It is hands down the funniest and worst all in one.

It was up old man conniston in a holiday home with the bi fold doors open so we all crowded round to watch them get married in a sitting room.

bride was 2 hours late and the registrar finally said if she didn’t turn up asap she’d be leaving because she had another wedding

because the bride was so late the shellfish buffet was binned before the wedding because it had sat out for too long

it pissed it down all day

favours were mugs with our names on them and because it was so cold and rainy people were clutching them to their chests but they’d used sharpie to draw on the names, it came off when the mugs were filled with hot coffee so we were all covered in sharpie

No other food was put out as the shellfish buffet was very expensive and should have been enough for everyone.

they had a barrel of beer and everyone was smashed

Brides family fucked off for a steak dinner as they had little kids, came back to watch the first dance

Second dance as a married couple was to ‘no woman no cry’

we went for a curry in the village at 1am.

They didn’t last a year.

Best man was a woman and her speech centred around anecdotes of 'when groom and I were going out....'.

Adult only wedding. MOB had invited her friends to the evening do, they brought their young daughter in a bridesmaid dress.

This one I have told before. It was late 1970s and I was about 10 and a bridesmaid.

The wedding and food were fine, we went back to my grandparents at tea time and everyone changed for the evening do but I wasn't allowed to. I think my mum wanted everyone to know I was a bridesmaid.

My dress was a thin polycotton thing with short sleeves. I had been freezing during the photos.

It being the 1970s I was wearing silver plastic sandals.

The evening do was in the staff social club at the place the groom worked. It was in a mental hospital which had previously been a Victorian asylum.

Lots of dancing and drinking took place amongst the adults. The sandals started to cut in to my feet.

At some point my parents decided to call a cab.

The first one they called said they would be 10 mins and then didn't turn up. The same thing happened with the second cab and the third.

My parents decided we needed to walk to the main road, having been an asylum it had a lot of land and a really long drive.

It was late, I was tired, I was cold (no coat or shawl or anything) and my feet were now bleeding. I was not happy.

Fortunately cab number 4 did arrive.

We stayed with my grandparents that night.

In the morning my mum wanted to go shopping, I was finally out of the dress but she had forgotten to bring any other shoes for me so I had to put the sodding sandals back on. I cried at the thought of going shopping.

An ex colleague got married and we were all invited to the night do and they had a burger van pull up for food. The smell was enough to make you vomit (think stale greasy cooking oil) and the worst part was that there was a price list up so everyone was expected to pay! Owing to the smell I’m guessing hardly anyone “bought” anything - it was a rubbish do in a grotty wmc that has since been pulled down and there was a big scrap and so at about 9:30pm we all left and went for a curry in town.
if you can’t afford to put a do on, just don’t bother!!
They lasted less than 2 years!!!!

Thunder and lightning and a church on a cliff top like a scene in a horror film. By the time we arrived at the reception we were all cold and bedraggled and started to steam gently in the heat of the social club in which the do was to take place. The wedding breakfast was served in the bar. All the tables had been pushed together to form one long table and we were all squeezed in so had to co-ordinate getting food to our mouths with our neighbour as there was no room to raise our arms independently. There was a conservatory running alongside the bar and due to licensing laws all kids had to leave the bar at 8pm. This resulted in the sight of many faces pressed to the conservatory windows overlooking the bar like Dickens orphans gazing longingly at we lucky things who were still in the midst of the action. The whole thing was hideous and we gave up and still somewhat damp decamped to our hotel where we snuggled down in bed and watched a film.

Oh the one I was a bridesmaid at, the couple celebrated 50 years together this year.

My new husband decided at the very last second that he didn’t want to do a speech, so I had to step in and do the ‘thank you’s’ etc. I guess I had more confidence than he did, but it wasn’t a large wedding (just a few family and friends) and I think I have always slightly judged him for doing that to me. Plenty more red flags since!!

I went to one IN DECEMBER in rural Lancashire
The ceremony and reception room where the same so they kicked us out while they turned them around which took about 90 minutes IN DECEMBER we were stood outside with no inside space, but an outside bar? A few men just got hammered everyone else got cold. it was a beautiful garden and I imagine in summer would be gorgeous, dreadful in winter

Went to one which was a lovely wedding but the best man’s speech was AWFUL like something from the 50s, no one was laughing and I think he just doubled down on it and it got worse and worse and worse. The bride was FURIOUS, lots of people were really upset, it’s all anyone remembers from an otherwise lovely wedding which is a shame.

Asian wedding but the reception was basically silence. No sense of celebration. Dry wedding too.. not that you need a drink but after in we wanted to drown our sorrows 😂. No speeches etc

food that was ridiculously spicy that nobody ate it too.

In contrast. Her brother’s wedding had dancing, music and pure joy! No booze at that one either but it was fun!

Went to a cousins wedding which was awful. Held in a nice place in the middle of nowhere. No food, no canapés, nothing from arriving at the ceremony at 11.30am until the ‘main meal’ at 4pm. It was a buffet of burgers and hot dogs, and each table was called up. By the time our table (last table) was called up, there was basically just scraps left. And nowhere nearby to get any food. We left after the ‘meal’

bloody awful.

After the ceremony, the canapés came round. It was a very ‘well to do family’ in a very posh hotel. I declined the canapés as I didn’t want to spoil my appetite for the meal……….this was the meal

We were invited to a Hindu wedding and it was beautifully elaborate. The ceremony lasted for hours. The only drinks on offer was water. The queue for the curry buffet was so long that we didn’t bother

Went to a friend’s wedding. Groom was a widower whose wife had passed away a couple of years beforehand. Ceremony was lovely and all was going well until the speeches. He stood up and started to speak and give what amounted to a long eulogy about his late wife. Some of his late wife’s family were at the wedding. He then proceeded to say that him and his new wife had a few problems and disagreements but were no longer slamming doors. The bride then gave a speech reiterating the problems they had but were working through them. The look on everyone’s faces was a picture. Surprisingly this was about 4 years ago and they’re still together.

😂😂😂

Recent wedding we were evening only, almost everyone else has been there all day and were palatic.

4 fire pits dotted around, one lady about 60 years old fell in one and had to be dragged out and dowsed down.

Ten minutes later she was back at the bar getting more drink, still smouldering.

I’ve been to some crackers!
First one was a cousin, I had just had a baby, but adults-only wedding. I asked my mum to take care of the baby, and explained I would need to express milk during the wedding. After being reassured there “definitely was a private room you can use” we got there and there wasn’t. Not only that but another cousin was very obviously pregnant and was given extra space, given her own suite of rooms, told to go and rest by the bride over and over. I was told off by the staff for daring to ask what space they had for expressing. Just a shitty, miserable experience. My husband and I left as wept as we reasonably could, got home and snuggled with our children.
Another wedding; there was no food. Well there was, but my husband and I didn’t make the cut for the food: instead we were there for the ceremony, then told to “occupy ourselves” when everyone went in for the meal, then told to come back in for the do after. It was miserable. Us and about 6 other cousins were all outside the room. We didn’t make the cut. Middle of nowhere wedding too - I had to drive for an hour to grab pizzas.
Another wedding I went to was MENTAL. The couple were late, over an hour each. They didn’t exchange rings - they braided their hair together. The maid of honour was their 4 year old daughter, and mum expected her to give a speech! Mum and Dad were both plastered by 10am (wedding was at 9am) and no one was watching their daughter at all, she fell into the lake twice, until I took over babysitting her. By 3pm, everyone else had left, but I didn’t want to leave a young child in the care of drunk parents so I called my husband and he came over with our children. The children made friends whilst I tried to find some food or something - there was no food anywhere on the premises. Catering staff hadn’t been paid, so refused to show up, there was literally the bride, groom, the four of us and their daughter two hours away from anything. I ended up having to leave my husband with the bride and groom, driving to the closest town and begging someone to give us some food (eventually found a pub with crisps) and bringing back what I could find, we slept in the ceremony cottage that night, B&G just kept drinking. Next morning I called Social Services and told them that they were drunk in charge of a 4 year old, waited for someone to show up and cut off the bride and groom totally. Never spoke to them since.
A co-workers wedding was “Alice in Wonderland” themed. We were all given character cards with our invites that we had to stick to. (I was a Rose flower, my husband was a card solider) It had a list of recommended costumes and the hire cost. One coworker had hired something different that wasn’t on the list, and got herself a blue dress and blonde wig. The bride literally turned purple as she screamed at her…kicked out the wedding, then she turned to the rest of us and said “At least you lot got it right. IM THE ONLY ALICE” at the top of her lungs. Proceeded to divorce 2 weeks after the honeymoon (which was a tour of the places that inspired Carrol to write Alice in Wonderland). Absolutely nuts.

….as an aside to your disastrous wedding…Victorian asylums we’re built in large grounds with winding drives leading up to the entrance….hence the term ‘driving someone round the bend’ when they have a mental episode. At least that’s what I read somewhere.
I also remember silver plastic shoes in the 70’s!

A very expensive venue, freezing cold, served 1 tiny drink on arrival, no tea or coffee or soft drinks. No food, dinner not for 2 hours. The groomsmen were pissed off at being asked at the wedding, on the day, for the hire cost of their suits, got rat arsed as hadn't eaten from the early hours (they had to pay at an extortionate bar) then basically had their own party in the middle of the wedding, including dancing on a table!!

I've worked in hospitality for decades so there were a few but the worst was a bride caught by the groom having sex in their bedroom with another man. You can imagine the chaos that ensured.

We went to my cousin's wedding. We were led to believe the caterers were very posh and had done work at the Houses of Parliament. It was all finger food brought round on trays. To say it was meagre is an understatement.

Every time we went to the toilet we had to pass the main hall where a very joyous Jamaican wedding with lots of food and dancing whereas our evening do consisted of mingling. We'd come all the way from Scotland (where our weddings were 100 times better) so had nothing in common with the majority of the guests.

We fled early and had fish suppers on the way home.

Family wedding; the bride's Rolls Royce broke down on the way to the church. Family helped themselves to the flower arrangements at the end of the pews while the happy couple signed the register, so they walked back down the aisle to no flowers at all.
The caterers had put the prawn cocktail starter on the tables hours before we arrived, on the hottest day of the year.
The best man revealed in his speech they groom enjoyed an intimate encounter with the stag night stripper.
My old DDad spent the whole day in hysterics.

These are brilliant! Made my day.

and I get married tomorrow 🤣

These are brilliant ! @Helpwithweaning1good luck for tomorrow!

I just remembered something else that happened on that wedding. A sheep escaped its paddock and got into the marquee , everyone was so drunk it got a collective round of applause

Definitely not the worst but mine wasn't great

A family member was asked to do some photos as they were into photography and we were on a tight budget and having a tiny wedding
Just me and hubby by a local landmark about 30 seconds from the pub just a couple of snaps no posing for ages just basic with a good camera was all I wanted
Nope they decided not to as we arrived at the pub I have maybe 6 photos of us at the pub but only 2 of us together taken by other people, loads of the guests though.

I invited a friend from school, paid her transport, meal and had my kids stay with family over night so she could stay at ours she insisted I leave with her and her child as didn't want to be at my home alone once Little one was tired so I left my own wedding at 9.30pm

My brother's wedding..it was in a city centre setting so horrible commute and walk to venue. People pissing on the wall outside the venue. Guests weren't enjoying themselves. Dance floor was empty. My brother didn't thank or mention my parents or any of his family in his speech which was awkward. The whole day was very uncomfortable.

The one where we left the reception and saw a couple having a full on fight in the car park, was the bride and groom. The dh pals, I told him no more weddings thanks 😅

A few! One was a "tea dance". We got 2 sandwiches and a tiny piece of cake. One cup of tea, one glass of wine for the toasts.
Another one where the bride's father had died the year before, her BIL gave her away and made the speech. It was all about missing him and how he would have loved the day. The bride and her mum sat crying throughout and continued afterwards.
Another where the groom started his speech "Wives, eh? You're not allowed to kill them anymore.!"
I think it was supposed to be funny.