Aibu to ask for worst wedding stories ?

[Dippt]

I’m sat here sick and I was scrolling facebook and in my memories were photos from genuinely the worst wedding we’ve ever been to. It is hands down the funniest and worst all in one.

It was up old man conniston in a holiday home with the bi fold doors open so we all crowded round to watch them get married in a sitting room.

bride was 2 hours late and the registrar finally said if she didn’t turn up asap she’d be leaving because she had another wedding

because the bride was so late the shellfish buffet was binned before the wedding because it had sat out for too long

it pissed it down all day

favours were mugs with our names on them and because it was so cold and rainy people were clutching them to their chests but they’d used sharpie to draw on the names, it came off when the mugs were filled with hot coffee so we were all covered in sharpie

No other food was put out as the shellfish buffet was very expensive and should have been enough for everyone.

they had a barrel of beer and everyone was smashed

Brides family fucked off for a steak dinner as they had little kids, came back to watch the first dance

Second dance as a married couple was to ‘no woman no cry’

we went for a curry in the village at 1am.

They didn’t last a year.

The one where I wasn't welcome

My brother really didn't want to get married,but she did

7 years of dating and she finally wore him down and he agreed

She went full bridezilla and started spending money that they didn't have

She wanted the day to make the royal weddings look like a do in a scout hut but simply didn't have the funds-they'd always been grabby but this went nuclear

They got everyone else to pay for it-her parents paid for the dress,bridesmaids dresses,ring,cars,photos,music,licence,mua,hairdresser and flowers

They got my parents to pay for the evening part-venue,food,drinks etc

Everything else,they got a list and their names ticked off when they coughed up or they where uninvited

Her problem was,I was a skint single mum and simply didn't have 2k to spend (let alone on someone else's day) but as I was family,they couldn't really uninvite us

I did buy a lovely present and my/the kids outfits (we looked lovely) and the kids where really well behaved on the day

That wasn't good enough for bridezilla-id done wrong by not finding and spunking money on crap like her shoes or their honeymoon (they didn't want to pay for any of this-she had to have it explained to her that i couldnt afford to pay for them to go away for a week or to buy her expensive shoes)

They both made it very clear that they didn't want myself or my dc there on the day and not only ignored us,but got her family to do the same (they where slagging us off behind their hands but loud enough for us to hear)

Best man got pissed,mumbled through his speech,another guest fell and broke his leg,a couple fell out and had a row (they where hissing at each other)granny fell asleep at the top table and started snoring,my mother was head to foot in black and the food ran out (30 plain/no toppings jacket potatoes will not feed 150-its not fishes and bread)

This was all my fault and they got snotty because I had to run over to sainburys and buy meal deals for my dc as they where staving

I left early after hearing her slagging me off in the toliets and never spoke to them again

I wouldn't have had an issue with not being invited,what pissed me off is they did invite us but then made it clear we where not welcome

I never spoke to either of them again-we had been mates before then

They broke up within 2 months,got back together,had my nephew and spend their lives trying to get everyone else to pay for him (when she was pregnant,they sent lists to people with tick boxes next to their names and if you didn't buy what they wanted,they refused to let you meet him-they are still at it 13byears on-her parents buy his clothes/school bits and my parents feed him)

Most weddings I’ve been to the ceremony and reception rooms are the same. However there’s always been a lobby or public bar we can wait it. And most have been in summer so we could go outside.

Oh my life.

😳😮😯😲😂

We went to a wedding when I was post-op (two hernia repairs) and was a bit sore, but okay to attend. However, the seating was narrow wooden benches, and after a few hours, I was feeling really uncomfortable and achey, so I went to sit in the car, where I could at least have a proper seat. The car was parked in a designated bit of field away from the venue.

Meantime, a young woman had been making hay with the wine and gyrating up a storm on the dance floor, bottle in hand. This was mid-evening, and aure as night follows day, there were obviously going to be tears before bedtime and a whole lot of messiness.

After about ten minutes in the car, I could hear indistinct but definitely raised voices and see figures approaching from the venue. As they get closer, I heard a man say/shout ‘I know she hit you, but she’s my wife, I’ll sort it.’ Turns out the dancing queen had lamped someone before dissolving into floods of tears and flouncing off in a drunken huff.

The bride’s family clearly didn’t like the groom or his family; equally clearly, the bride’s mother, aunt and sister didn’t much like the bride’s father (no divorce, separation or whatever, they just thought he was a drip), as their speeches spelled out in no uncertain terms.

Oh, and we caught covid while we were there.

There was also a family member’s wedding where the best man’s speech spent more time that was entirely necessary describing the groom’s penis. (Like a baby’s arm holding an apple, in case anybody is curious.) Excruciating. Being blanked the whole evening by my uncle, even though we were on the same table also wasn’t ideal, but he’s always been a colossal dick, so that wasn’t a surprise. The lengthy description of the actual colossal dick, on the other hand, was.

One coworker had hired something different that wasn’t on the list, and got herself a blue dress and blonde wig. The bride literally turned purple as she screamed at her…kicked out the wedding, then she turned to the rest of us and said “At least you lot got it right. IM THE ONLY ALICE”

In fairness, if I agreed to go to an Alice In Wonderland wedding and didn't want to wear the recommended costume, I would go as anything but Alice as I would expect the bride to be dressed as Alice - she's the central character. The bride handled it ungraciously to say the least but I can understand why she was annoyed.

Lovely traditional family wedding that took place in the 1980s - church ceremony followed by wedding lunch and ‘evening do’ in the function room of the local posh hotel. Bride and groom stayed at the hotel overnight and next morning after breakfast they went to the function room to collect their cake and gifts before leaving on honeymoon. Discovered a couple of burly bouncers at the entrance demanding money to enter - turned out that the hotel manager had a side hustle showing porn movies in the function room on Sunday mornings. The dimly lit function room was packed.

Oh no, I got why she was annoyed. It was the sheer nastiness of how she screamed “I’m the only Alice” to be far to the other coworker, she had been assigned a flamingo, and the costume suggestions weren’t flattering on a lady with a bit of a pot belly, so she asked for something that would cover her stomach. She also isn’t the sort of person I would have expected to read the book/watch the films so I can understand it a little.
However, I really disliked the way the bride handled it. It wasn’t a nice exchange and we all felt wildly uncomfortable. Left as quick as possible.

Yes, awful way to handle it, I agree.

I think for 'flamingo' I'd just wear something pink and hope for the best, any kind of costume actually resembling a flamingo would be hugely impractical!

Dh and I drove 3 hours to the evening reception of an old school friend of his. When we arrived at the appointed time the reception was still taking place, everyone seated at tables. So we waited in the foyer, and waited, and waited, looking through the glass door. Eventually a member of staff asked if we were all right and informed us that there was no evening do, no buffet, and no other guests! Dh and I marched off in high dudgeon, taking our gift with us, and dh never spoke to the friend again.

How come you thought there was an evening do?

We received an invitation! Really bizarre. Either no other evening invitees had accepted, or dh (and I as +1) were the sole ones… Couldn’t fathom it at all.

Can still see that foyer now - it was at Herstmonceux Castle…

Ceremony was in an orangery during an extremely hot day, upwards of 35c. No water to drink, the only patch of shade was being used for photographs. Everyone very concerned about the elderly relatives and newborn babies and the venue staff just shrugged

There was the one where the bride was Irish Catholic and the groom English C of E.

I was young and single at the time and my 'dear' brother introduced me to a very attractive man at the bar. We chatted, me keenly with best moves and I asked him what he did (lawyer? accountant?/ plumber?/ anything?)

Reply- "Sure if I'm not in the seminary".

My 'dear' brother gave me a thumbs up from the other side of the room

Very odd, did you ask her?

Fella shooting up in the toilets; the glass in the toilet window being smashed out during the evening; chicken drummers on the buffet all frozen so the DJ announced 'nobody eat the chicken!' then staff put them behind the bar on plates and a couple of hours later put it back on the buffet table...; huge punch up which ended up with the bride having blood on her dress; police were called; riot vans outside... We went into a takeaway after we left (early) and even the people behind the counter and in the shop were saying 'did you see that mad wedding!'

@Hallamlass - no, dh was so cross he never had any contact again with old friend. That was about 25 years ago!

I can understand that! However, I'd want to find out what went wrong!

Mishaps at my own wedding.

The wedding party (lead by MIL and FIL) started down the aisle before the bride and groom were even in the building. I was pretty disappointed to have missed the lining up moment and watching them all walk down the aisle from the back.

My MIL also wore a deep cut plunge neckline dress. She had just come back from a beach holiday and her tan lines meant she had a bright white spot that especially brought attention to her breasts.
(I understand how she dresses is her business but it was a very conservative venue and crowd)

My dad sat on my bouquet and broke it in half right before walking down the aisle.

A friend announced her pregnancy during the reception.

I would say the best drama happened before the wedding when my MIL announce to my husband we had to move our wedding were going on a long haul beach holiday and getting back the day before and might not make the wedding. FIL was officiating our ceremony. After talking to FIL they were arriving back home 2 weeks before our wedding so very little chance of missing it due to flight delays. She just likes drama.

But honestly our wedding was really fun and these hick ups are just laughs (and eye rolls) 20 happy married years later.

The worst wedding I attended wasn’t the couple’s fault. There was a storm of the century type of situation. The venue flooded soon after we arrived and we had to evacuate. It was down a long winding path so to get to a main road we all had to hike in our finery through the mud while getting absolutely drenched. It at least made for an interesting night.

Ex persuaded me to attend a wedding of a friend of his (whom I had never met), neglected to tell me that he was a 50 year old junior member of a notorious organised crime group, marrying a lad with learning difficulties who was only 15 when they met. They had somehow messed up the invitations so half the expected guests didn’t turn up. At the sit down meal half the table I was on was empty. I had to keep smiling whilst the other gang members motioned to the waitresses to bring out the remaining meals for them to have as seconds.

Actually I have another stuck in foyer at wedding story.

Wedding took place at church and then we all progress to reception venue. The day was freezing - sleet and icy wind, and everyone keen to get inside. But - the previous wedding reception had not finished and moreover they showed no inclination to leave. The staff were clearing tables and asking the guests to go, whilst wedding party #2 were squashed in the foyer as it was too miserable to wait outside. So awkward and “our” bride was in tears and her dm rowing with the wedding venue people. Of course it took absolutely ages to set up the room again and did put a dampener on proceedings.

I went to a friends wedding and her sister came in a whole bridal ball gown complete with train and long veil and tiara. Her reasoning "we'll I eloped and didn't get to wear a wedding dress." The brides response "yup that's my sister 😂" Couple is still together. Not sure how close they are to her sister though.

I was a bridesmaid in another friends wedding where every other bridesmaid changed dresses after the ceremony because they didn't like the colour. (Yellow, it was a lovely dress.) The groom's sister were bridesmaids but he wouldn't allow the bride's sisters to be part of the wedding party. (They voiced some concerns about their relationship.) They are now divorced after he cheated on her during her breast cancer treatment. She is very glad to be rid of him. (Funny though her PIL who are lovely people sided with her and helped her get another property after her divorce from their son. They cut off son because of his vile behaviour)

Went to another wedding where the only beverage served was milk and it was announced that if anyone went to go purchase another drink at the hotel lobby bar they would be barred from reentry.

This has been very funny to think about looking back on all these!

Classy!

Relative’s wedding, bride and groom were clearly pissed off with each other at the reception and that came across beautifully in the photos of them together. They were like that day to day was nothing new. Not only did they look like they wanted to be anywhere else but with each other on their wedding day, they’re very young children had clearly picked up on the horrendous atmosphere and looked so anxious and upset in all the photos. On the day itself the kids were pains in the arse but it wasn’t until you saw their sad little faces and their body language in the photos it really hit home how the shitty behaviour of both parents affected them. B&G proudly displayed on the walls in their home before the eventual split and I always thought “why the fuck would you want to look at any of those pictures ever again let alone every day.

Another relative’s wedding they had an Iceland buffet (no issue with that) but nowhere near enough food (huge issue with that) and ours was the last table to go up and there was bugger all left. I got smashed out of boredom during the speeches which were long and dull to the point my dad kept hiding the wine from me. It didn’t work. I still ended up with one of the worst hangovers of my life. But at least I can’t remember those speeches.