Am I wrong to continue to refuse to socialise with DH’s best man

[Westernweath]

I got married last summer (2025) and took offence to a comment made by DH’s best man. Juvenile humour at my expense. I remained calm at the time but told DH in no uncertain terms I would not socialise with him again.

He has respected that until now. Big row last night that I’ve ‘dragged it out for over a year and need to move on now’. I explained I felt embarrassed in front of family and friends. He says as he has apologised repeatedly I should give him a second chance, and be mindful that a lot of alcohol was consumed by him and he has ‘cut right down as a result’.

Maybe I am stubborn. But I believe that fool me once, you don’t get another chance.

YABU - move on and agree to meet up
YANBU - stick to your position

If you don't like the guy then you don't like the guy. I don't see why you should have to change your opinion of him just to please your H. You are entitled to your own opinion.
So long as you don't try and stop your H from socialising with him Idon't see why you need to if you don't want to.

Being mildly annoyed and telling him so is an appropriate reaction. Refusing to talk to him for a year is a massive overreaction. Refusing to talk to him or being around him ever again no matter us apologies and genuine remorse is beyond ridiculous.

mmn

You must dig your heels in. You don't want them thinking you're weak, do you?

You are way over the top on this. Poor husband.

Were you farting on the sofa watching football with a beer? I think it’s a pretty inoffensive joke in the grand scheme of things. I’ve certainly done it!

Guess we will never know as the OP hasn’t returned!

Come on, this was planned. Do we really think, best man thought, well I’ll see whether she looks nice in her dress and respond the way my instincts lead me? Rehearsed nastiness. Bet the apologies have all been to husband not to OP.

You’re over reacting.

Oh OP you really need to let this go. On a scale of one to ten this wouldn’t register for me.

Yes gross, but you’re not marrying him so be pleased and let it go.

In case I am stating the obvious, that memory of him saying that is still strong and vivid because it happened on a very important and significant day for you, when emotions would have been running high - which means your brain found it easy for that memory to dock and decided it was super important to hang on to... especially when combined with the existential threat of being mocked publicly in front of an audience, combined with feelings of being disrespected on your wedding day

yes, I've gone full Freud/neuroscience-y/evolutionary psychology on you to explain why it still boils your piss

He may have thought he was being the super relatable, but overfamiliar guy, with his "ladz bantz", at best, he committed a significant social faux pas, at worst, he was intentionally being an undermining wanker

Intention v impact

Yes, it's a gross comment but it's really not worth cutting off your DH's best friend over. I think you need to get over yourself and forgive him.

Did darling husband realise when he married you that you were severely lacking in a sense of humour 🤷🏼‍♀️

God imagine not having a sense of humour!! That must be awful. What a life your poor husband has 🙄

Jesus is that it!!!!!!!!!!

If the guy has realised he had a problem with alcohol as a result of what happened and has made an effort to change and kept to that, as well as apologising, then I think you give another chance, if only for the sake of your marriage because he's your DHs best friend. If he was still the same and just gave one half arsed apology then I'd agree with you, but he obviously was ashamed of himself and also valued his friendship with DH enough to change his ways, so it's different.

I think I would have actually found that amusing, but then I don’t mind a fart joke. And I’m fairly
gassy 😂
Lots of people don’t like comments like that, which I can understand. However, unless he’s generally a rude/childish idiot when you spend time with him then sorry but I think YABU.

Bloody hellis that it?aren't you being a bit precious?

But the friend didn't know OP would be upset.

That's actually quite funny.

You need to really dig deep into why this has affected you so much, in order to realise how much of an over reaction this has become.
Your poor husband has been stuck in the middle and it sounds like the BM has done everything possible to correct his bad behaviour.

Because the best man was a drunken arse and was crass at OP's wedding at her expense

Oh my get over it, you sound incredibly highly strung...it was obviously a joke and everyone would have seen it that way. Dont take yourself so seriously

It wouldn't take more than one brain cell to think that someone might be upset by it. Best to err on the side of caution and just be respectful

😂😂😂

Is that it?!?!??!

And you haven't talked to him for a year???

OMG way too oversensitive.