DP ate the food I was saving for my daughter, AIBU?

[messier63]

DP ate the pasta I was saving for dd’s lunch and thinks im being dramatic over it. I know it’s literally pasta but im annoyed because he doesnt even get why it bothered me.

I made chicken pasta last night and dd ate some but said she didnt want the rest because she wasnt hungry. She likes it cold so I put it in a tub in the fridge for her lunch today. I do this loads with leftovers so its not like he didnt know I do it.

When I got up this morning the tub was in the sink and dp said he got hungry after I went to bed and ate it. He said he thought it was just leftover pasta and didnt realise it was for anyone. I said he knows I save stuff for dd but apparently that doesnt mean he has to know every tub in the fridge is already claimed.

He said I should have written her name on it if it was meant for her. I dont label every single thing I put in the fridge, like who actually does that in their own house. He knows I sort lunches and save food for the kids.

Money is a bit tight till payday and ive been trying to make what we have last instead of buying extra stuff. We do have food in, its not that serious, but id already sorted her lunch in my head. He said he could make her a sandwich but its the principle really.

dd thought she had the pasta for lunch so when I offered her other things she refused them and said she didnt want anything else. I just think dp could have checked first, especially as he knows I put leftovers aside for the kids. He says im making an argument out of nothing.

AIBU or should food thats been put aside for someone just be left alone? Would you expect to have to write names on everything in your own fridge?

Was he actually listening when you said this? If busy tidying up he may not have heard, especially if you were telling your daughter, not him.

What are your portions like? Only you say you are trying to make things last so wonder if he needed the late night snack as you all aren't eating enough.

Edited for not reading the post fully.

Exactly the ridiculous Ness of these threads.

Your DP was too tight to buy his own lunch, absolute penne pincher!

aw @Pigeonatthewheel I see what you did there! :)

I agree with most people
YABU
Shame there wasn't a poll really.

If there are leftovers at any meal in our house, they'll go in a tub in the fridge.

Any food in a tub in the fridge is fair game unless there is a specific note left to say "Don't eat the pasts / cake / curry / whatever"

I would be furious if someone woke me up after I'd gone to bed to say "Can I eat that piece of quiche that is sitting in the fridge?" How infantising.

You needed to say to your dd 'Don't be ridiculous. The pasta has gone, now, do you want X or Y for your lunch?' or, if older 'The pasta is gone, just make yourself something else.'

AIBU or should food thats been put aside for someone just be left alone?

Yes, but you can't expect someone to know what's actually been put aside, and not just left over.

So OP, you must be new to MN. What you basically have here is someone with a penis whose hunger must be assuaged at all costs (financial or social) and a child, who has no penis and therefore any expression of food preference she might make is not only to be ignored but actively shoved down lest she think she has options in life. Honestly, I'm surprised you have to ask. And this has been covered so many times in the last 20 years since I joined - menz hungry, menz eat, OP being female is somehow responsible for whatever happens next. HTH.

Maybe he cannelloni afford so much.

This plus the DD is obviously unreasonable for not making herself some pasta because every child of a MNer has been making roast dinners since the age of 5 and a half

It's pasta. First world problems.

Is there a specific reason it had to be her lunch?
Like, are you working and therefore don't have to cook, or it was a packed lunch for her to take for the day?

Otherwise they're just leftovers, I don't understand why they have to be allocated to a specific person unless there is a good reason for it. Seems a bit OTT...

I know but you described it as 'sitting down and coming up with a system'.
Surely thats a bit in depth.

The world has gone bad if couples need to do that. One post it note stating 'keep your grubby hands off because this is for Erica' would suffice. 😀

Poor husband.

That's a dumb take.
Reverse the situation: child hungry in the evening - give them the food; husband has an entire morning to figure out what to make for lunch - they can make something else.

Label it or it’s fair game!

Seriously? If OP had eaten something that her dh was saving (without telling the OP) then you would be screaming that her dh was fatshaming her and being abusive. Just stop thinking about gender and think about people as persons and you might get some perspective.

This. I would have told him that it was being saved for a purpose.
Otherwise it's anyones

Does DP live with you?

Yabu, your dp offered to make her sonething else and if she liked it so much she wpukd have ate it when first offered it.

@messier63 I would have been more sympathetic if your dp hadn't offered to prepare dd's lunch. He ate without knowing it was earmarked for dd and therefore wanted to "make up" for it. But your entitled child refused to eat anything else. That's on you. If I was your dp I would leave the household.

you wanted him to wake you up to ask what food he's allowed to eat?

I'm sorry but this is a complete overreaction.
You really do hate men don't you?

she was asleep. is he really meant to wake her up to ask permission to eat food? what if he'd had toast instead, does he need to ask her if those slices are for someone else? would you be ok with a man demanding he be woken up to be asked permission from his wife if she wanted food?

Don't be ridiculous.

In a fridge used by many people, food is available if there is no note saying otherwise. This applies whether the hungry person is male or female.

You are making this into something it isn't.

I’d buy a special lunch box that’s for her only and write her name on it.