DP ate the food I was saving for my daughter, AIBU?

[messier63]

DP ate the pasta I was saving for dd’s lunch and thinks im being dramatic over it. I know it’s literally pasta but im annoyed because he doesnt even get why it bothered me.

I made chicken pasta last night and dd ate some but said she didnt want the rest because she wasnt hungry. She likes it cold so I put it in a tub in the fridge for her lunch today. I do this loads with leftovers so its not like he didnt know I do it.

When I got up this morning the tub was in the sink and dp said he got hungry after I went to bed and ate it. He said he thought it was just leftover pasta and didnt realise it was for anyone. I said he knows I save stuff for dd but apparently that doesnt mean he has to know every tub in the fridge is already claimed.

He said I should have written her name on it if it was meant for her. I dont label every single thing I put in the fridge, like who actually does that in their own house. He knows I sort lunches and save food for the kids.

Money is a bit tight till payday and ive been trying to make what we have last instead of buying extra stuff. We do have food in, its not that serious, but id already sorted her lunch in my head. He said he could make her a sandwich but its the principle really.

dd thought she had the pasta for lunch so when I offered her other things she refused them and said she didnt want anything else. I just think dp could have checked first, especially as he knows I put leftovers aside for the kids. He says im making an argument out of nothing.

AIBU or should food thats been put aside for someone just be left alone? Would you expect to have to write names on everything in your own fridge?

I think maybe your worry over money has you losing your ability to be rational.

he maybe did hear you say it but most people would zone that out and likely forget, he simply ate some left over pasta, like many would,

next time say to him directly please don’t eat this it’s for Jane’s lunch if it’s thay important,

It’s not just on her to communicate though, him asking would have been a valid form of communication too. Leftovers clearly aren’t fair game in their house.

Really? Your husband checks with you before he is allowed to eat anything in the fridge?

Unless there’s a massive back story this sounds like a misunderstanding. It’s unreasonable to expect an adult who contributes financially to ask permission before they eat anything. So, I think the two of you should sit down and come up with a system whereby you can both identify anything that’s been earmarked for someone but anything else is fair game.

There should be agreed foods that can just be eaten if someone is randomly hungry ie toast, so that planned/prepped meals don't get eaten. This is especially important if you are on a tight budget.
In our family we always have plenty of bread in the freezer to be toasted if someone is hungry.
Other food needs to be checked.

Eating leftovers that you frequently use for other lunches isn’t on

hungry is bread and butter - or bread and cheese if funds allow

She was asleep.

Oh ok that case I would be really annoyed. So he either wasn’t listening and made an entirely avoidable mistake, or didn’t care and ate it anyway. I’d be raging at the rudeness either way.

Well presumably this isn't a regular issue or the OP would have said. We don't know if this has come up before but it seems that her DP thinks they are fair game and the OP disagrees. If this isn't something that has come up previously or if she usually tells him if something is to be saved, then how is he to know?

Why didn’t he just go to bed? Presumably he’d already eaten his meals for the day, he sounds greedy

Make some more pasta?

@messier63 if it’s in the ‘communal’ fridge, it’s up for grabs.

You should really be annoyed at yourself for not labelling it rather than at your DP. Also, your dd is being a pain not accepting something else, which I assume is fuelling the unnecessary argument.

Hilarious.

1. You didn't mention this in your first post.

2. You told your daughter, not him

Her husband can. Why should OP?
he was the one who ate it all
@chirrupybird

I have fridge raider teens. We have designated shelves for meal food whoch they know not to touch
If I out something on another shelf then usually stick note on saying 'mums lunch' or dc dinner

Perhaps he had a smaller tea than usual, perhaps he skipped lunch, perhaps he was feeling peckish. Greedy? Flipping heck, that's a leap. Lots of people eat 'supper' before bed (even not greedy ones)!

Presumably this was because he is a grown adult who manages his own appetite as he sees fit, rather than in your view of how often he should eat

Because she didn't let him know she wanted to use it and because the dd can just have a sandwich.

Agree.

Everyone seems to be making a mountain out of a molehill here.

He could have been a bit more apologetic but ultimately didnt do anything wrong.

Fine for dd to be disappointed but no reason to refuse eating anything else.

You are over dramatising it all. There was other food available, its not like the plan had always been for dd to take it for lunch, if she had eaten the meal as intended there wouldnt have been leftovers. It doesnt even sound as though she asked you to keep it for lunch herself, for all she cared it was going in the bin.

His suggestion of labelling food if it is being saved for one particular person sounds very sensible so no idea why you are pooh-poohing it.

He did know though, I told dd I was putting it in the fridge for her lunch tomorrow when I was clearing up and he was in the kitchen.
No excuse then.

If food is in the fridge for a certain reason in this house - it gets labelled otherwise someone will eat it.
It’s a misunderstand, DP didn’t know and has offered to make something else.
At christmas, I have to label off whole shelves to stop DH/DCs eating it all.

Well that's quite a drip feed. Why didn't you mention this in your first post?

She told dd, she wasn't talking to him.