DP ate the food I was saving for my daughter, AIBU?

[messier63]

DP ate the pasta I was saving for dd’s lunch and thinks im being dramatic over it. I know it’s literally pasta but im annoyed because he doesnt even get why it bothered me.

I made chicken pasta last night and dd ate some but said she didnt want the rest because she wasnt hungry. She likes it cold so I put it in a tub in the fridge for her lunch today. I do this loads with leftovers so its not like he didnt know I do it.

When I got up this morning the tub was in the sink and dp said he got hungry after I went to bed and ate it. He said he thought it was just leftover pasta and didnt realise it was for anyone. I said he knows I save stuff for dd but apparently that doesnt mean he has to know every tub in the fridge is already claimed.

He said I should have written her name on it if it was meant for her. I dont label every single thing I put in the fridge, like who actually does that in their own house. He knows I sort lunches and save food for the kids.

Money is a bit tight till payday and ive been trying to make what we have last instead of buying extra stuff. We do have food in, its not that serious, but id already sorted her lunch in my head. He said he could make her a sandwich but its the principle really.

dd thought she had the pasta for lunch so when I offered her other things she refused them and said she didnt want anything else. I just think dp could have checked first, especially as he knows I put leftovers aside for the kids. He says im making an argument out of nothing.

AIBU or should food thats been put aside for someone just be left alone? Would you expect to have to write names on everything in your own fridge?

But he claims to of not known it was lunch. So he just ate left overs.

I get it.

Dh does this too. He just eats everything around him without thinking. Even things that people bought especially for something in particular. It's maddeningly selfish. He'll even take things off our plates as we're eating.

Good grief calm down, he clearly didnt know it was his daughters lunch, other food is available the child won’t starve,

But you said earlier that when you confronted him over the empty tub in the sink, he said he'd had no idea it belonged to anyone. So did you tell him that specific tub wasn't to be touched?

its not like he didnt know I do it

But he's not a mind reader.

You need to be a bit more proactive
Your partner needs to be a bit more aware
Your daughter needs to be a bit less fussy

Absolutely - if he was doing the washing up that is literally when I let my mind wander. I also don't tend to listen in on other people's conversations. Because, manners.

My grandma had a rule.. if it's there eat it.

I'd understand if your in them last few days before pay day and completely rationing (I've had to do that were every bit of food is accounted for) but if not then I dont see a problem at all. He was hungry, he ate food from the fridge. Seems like just some miscommunication. No biggie. X

If I'm saving leftovers for something specific, I tell DH (being in the same room when you told DD doesn't mean he was paying attention... you weren't talking to him 🤷‍♀️). I'd expect DH to do the same if he didn't want me to eat leftovers he'd put in the fridge, otherwise they're fair game.

Labeling takes less than a minute.

He might not have heard her, this is something that could have been a mistake. Now, is he has a habit of being greedy and scarfing all the food, she definitely needs to label and address that.

Not everything is for lunch. Leftovers, unless labeled, are fair game in a fridge.

To resolve this on our house we have one shelf on the fridge that is ‘reserved’. If you didn’t put the item on that shelf, you don’t touch it. Perhaps that would work for you too. Maybe a single box if you don’t need a whole shelf.

You have to label things. Now you know that he will just eat them.

Yea but did you tell him?

I always write on a bit of kitchen roll and then put it on top of any leftovers in the fridge if I want to save it.

Come up with a system? How dramatic is that. A simple label on food that is for someone specific would do?

Why does it matter if there's other food for her to have for lunch?
Unless she personally said she wanted you to save it for her, or she boxed it up and saved it for her own lunch. She's not going to miss something she didn't expect or ask for?

Just give her her favourite sandwich from what's in the house.
You can make more pasta another day and maybe do label lunches as such.

This would piss me off too, greedy bastard

Or she could you know, use her words and tell him?

Is this his house too or does he just stay over from time to time?

If he's lives there too and contributes to the bills just get a system e.g. whatever goes into the red tub isn't to be eaten.
If he doesn't live there read him the riot act and tell him to stay out of your children's food!

All the rights and wrongs about the pasta aside.....he dumped the tub in the sink for someone else to wash.

She could but he sounds the type of man who would say she didn't/ he didn't hear/ he forgot.

This is a minor incident but for some reason I’ve already formed a view of a man who is a cocklodger (lives in your house and eats your food while not properly paying his way). I’ve also formed the view DD is not his child, and he just sees your household as a convenience hangout where he gets fed while talking down to you. Am I right.?

That's rude AF and he needs to be stabbed with a fork when he does that shit. I bet he'd remember to keep his hands to himself then.

If this is the only irritation in your relationship then I’d suggest you let it go. Life is too short.

Maybe he’s not allowed to do that either.

Why on earth do you let him do that? It’s so selfish and ill mannered. I would’ve really kicked off over it by now.

I hate this weird sexist view that men are these big, muscular, hard working beasts in need of the most and the best food to sustain their hunting prowess. When the majority of them have dad bods and work in offices and can get their own fucking food rather than grabbing at other people’s.