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AIBU?

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DP ate the food I was saving for my daughter, AIBU?

227 replies

messier63 · Yesterday 13:30

DP ate the pasta I was saving for dd’s lunch and thinks im being dramatic over it. I know it’s literally pasta but im annoyed because he doesnt even get why it bothered me.

I made chicken pasta last night and dd ate some but said she didnt want the rest because she wasnt hungry. She likes it cold so I put it in a tub in the fridge for her lunch today. I do this loads with leftovers so its not like he didnt know I do it.

When I got up this morning the tub was in the sink and dp said he got hungry after I went to bed and ate it. He said he thought it was just leftover pasta and didnt realise it was for anyone. I said he knows I save stuff for dd but apparently that doesnt mean he has to know every tub in the fridge is already claimed.

He said I should have written her name on it if it was meant for her. I dont label every single thing I put in the fridge, like who actually does that in their own house. He knows I sort lunches and save food for the kids.

Money is a bit tight till payday and ive been trying to make what we have last instead of buying extra stuff. We do have food in, its not that serious, but id already sorted her lunch in my head. He said he could make her a sandwich but its the principle really.

dd thought she had the pasta for lunch so when I offered her other things she refused them and said she didnt want anything else. I just think dp could have checked first, especially as he knows I put leftovers aside for the kids. He says im making an argument out of nothing.

AIBU or should food thats been put aside for someone just be left alone? Would you expect to have to write names on everything in your own fridge?

OP posts:
JLou08 · Yesterday 13:54

You're being unreasonable. I'd think nothing of someone eating leftovers in the fridge unless they had been specifically told it was for someone else.

ACynicalDad · Yesterday 13:55

Can't believe you started a thread on this, he is not unreasonable to eat it though.

AlwaysExtraHot · Yesterday 13:55

SnowflakesandSlippers · Yesterday 13:54

She told dd, she wasn't talking to him.

Unless they have a vast TV-chef-size kitchen, he likely heard and saw what was going on.

brownbootsandhats · Yesterday 13:55

JLou08 · Yesterday 13:54

You're being unreasonable. I'd think nothing of someone eating leftovers in the fridge unless they had been specifically told it was for someone else.

Yet OP clearly says that it is normal in their house that leftovers are put aside for lunches

SnowflakesandSlippers · Yesterday 13:56

AlwaysExtraHot · Yesterday 13:55

Unless they have a vast TV-chef-size kitchen, he likely heard and saw what was going on.

Assuming he was listening, I would most likely be lost in my own thoughts/activity like many people.

Burningbud1981 · Yesterday 13:56

MrsBananaman · Yesterday 13:46

Oh ok that case I would be really annoyed. So he either wasn’t listening and made an entirely avoidable mistake, or didn’t care and ate it anyway. I’d be raging at the rudeness either way.

Raging that he wasn’t listening ? Really ?op was talking to her daughter not him.

pinkyredrose · Yesterday 13:57

He's a greedy twat. Is he DD's father?

RNApolymerase · Yesterday 13:57

I have ravening beasts in my house. If there's anything that isn't fair game to be eaten I write NO on it in sharpie.

caringcarer · Yesterday 13:57

Pasta only takes 10 mins to cook. DH should have made her some more pasta. Why can't DD eat a sandwich for lunch? Are you worried about her eating in general?

caringcarer · Yesterday 13:58

RNApolymerase · Yesterday 13:57

I have ravening beasts in my house. If there's anything that isn't fair game to be eaten I write NO on it in sharpie.

🤣

Flipperthepriest · Yesterday 13:58

Depends whether he heard you tell DD it was to be saved.

Thesillysocks · Yesterday 13:58

I would be more annoyed with a DS who refused all other options because she was expecting pasta…

The fact that you sometimes serve leftovers for lunch the next day doesn’t mean that all leftovers are off limits, I would expect you to say it explicitly to the other adult.

Cora0 · Yesterday 13:59

He should have known better since he was there when you told her you’d save it for her but clearly you’ll have to put a label on it too in the future. Had he already eaten his meal? I would not be impressed if he’d already had his and then went and scoffed down a second dinner when money is tight just because he was peckish.

Dweetfidilove · Yesterday 13:59

I believe you've overreacted on this occasion.

outerspacepotato · Yesterday 13:59

He was in the kitchen when you told your daughter you would save it for her.

So, either it was an honest mistake or he ate her lunch for tomorrow. If he ate her lunch, he's greedy. Is he usually greedy about food? And, is he her father or just your live in partner?

From now on, keep a sharpie in the kitchen and label your containers and that way there's no more mistakes. Who doesn't label containers when you've got multiple people living in the home? Mine gets what it is and date made, my kids will label theirs.

sweetpickle2 · Yesterday 14:00

I would probably be mildly annoyed then I'd get over myself and remember my DH isn't a mindreader. Leftovers are for the house unless specified otherwise!

brownbootsandhats · Yesterday 14:00

outerspacepotato · Yesterday 13:59

He was in the kitchen when you told your daughter you would save it for her.

So, either it was an honest mistake or he ate her lunch for tomorrow. If he ate her lunch, he's greedy. Is he usually greedy about food? And, is he her father or just your live in partner?

From now on, keep a sharpie in the kitchen and label your containers and that way there's no more mistakes. Who doesn't label containers when you've got multiple people living in the home? Mine gets what it is and date made, my kids will label theirs.

If the normal is that leftovers for lunch why should OP make extra work and label things ?

uf he can’t control himself he should ask or label it himself

TheNightScentedStock · Yesterday 14:01

How old is your daughter and why is she refusing to eat all other options.

Does she know you've had a row about pasta and is adding to it or is she very rigid?

whatanuglythingtosay · Yesterday 14:01

If you're certain he did know that the pasta was intended for your daughter then of course he is unreasonable to have eaten it and his excuse that it wasn't labelled is flimsy and rather pathetic.

That said, I would probably make a point of labelling leftovers that you are specifically saving so that he can't use this excuse again.

Hundslappadrifa · Yesterday 14:02

YABU

bridgetreilly · Yesterday 14:02

Honestly, it sounds like you are policing the fridge in a very controlling way. He was hungry, he ate some leftovers. That is pretty normal. If you didn’t want him to, you needed to tell him, not DD.

Coulddowithanap · Yesterday 14:03

messier63 · Yesterday 13:35

He did know though, I told dd I was putting it in the fridge for her lunch tomorrow when I was clearing up and he was in the kitchen.

Saying it when he's in the room doesn't mean he was listening.

brownbootsandhats · Yesterday 14:04

bridgetreilly · Yesterday 14:02

Honestly, it sounds like you are policing the fridge in a very controlling way. He was hungry, he ate some leftovers. That is pretty normal. If you didn’t want him to, you needed to tell him, not DD.

He are someone’s LUNCH

yes it was leftover but it was also someone’s LUNCH

if you are hungry you don’t treat yourself to someone’s lunch

you eat the cheap basics like bread and butter or an apple

SnowflakesandSlippers · Yesterday 14:04

brownbootsandhats · Yesterday 14:04

He are someone’s LUNCH

yes it was leftover but it was also someone’s LUNCH

if you are hungry you don’t treat yourself to someone’s lunch

you eat the cheap basics like bread and butter or an apple

He didn't know that.

phoenixrosehere · Yesterday 14:06

SnowflakesandSlippers · Yesterday 13:51

Because she didn't let him know she wanted to use it and because the dd can just have a sandwich.

So could her DP instead of eating the rest of the pasta or he could have asked.

I grew up checking before just eating leftovers because my mother did the same thing as OP.

Doesn’t matter really if he didn’t hear. Would have taken him a moment to check.