To have let my boys play outside with toy swords?

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My neighbour has just had a go at me about my boys playing outside and is now threatening to report them. They were playing with plastic swords pretending to fight and apparently they were making threats to people. I honestly dont know what to make of it. sorry if the typing is a bit dodgy my phones screen is cracked and its making it hard to type properly

dc (8 7 6 4) the older 3 were playing together and the little one was running around the field doing his own thing mostly. They were on the bit of enclosed grass opposite our house where they always play. its not someones garden and its fenced off from the road

we’ve only recently moved in and she’s never seemed to like them. She’s made comments before about them being noisy and has never been particularly friendly so I do wonder if she’s already decided theyre a nuisance and is looking for reasons to complain

It’s the first dry day we’ve had in days so they’ve been desperate to get out. They’ve been stuck in the house for days and were going a bit stir crazy. They took some toy swords and a plastic shield out with them and were playing some sort of battle game. Yes they were being loud but they werent damaging anything or bothering anyone deliberately as far as I knew

There werent any other children out there. It was just my four boys so they werent playing with or threatening anyone else. They were running around together and shouting as part of their game

My neighbour came over and said she was sick of them shouting and carrying on and that she’d heard them threatening to stab people with their swords. She said it was completely unacceptable and if I couldnt control them she’d report them. She mentioned the council and the police although I couldnt really tell if she was serious or just trying to scare me

she also said I was being unreasonable allowing the little one out there as well because he’s only little (he is small for his age aswell). But he was just running around the field and wasnt doing anything to anyone. I dont see why he should have to stay indoors when theres a safe enclosed bit of grass right opposite the house

I said theyre plastic toy swords and the boys are playing not actually going around threatening people. But if I’m honest I wasnt stood next to them the whole time so I cant swear blind about every single thing they said. I can hear them from the front window and check on them but I’m not right there listening to every word of their game

She was basically saying theyre old enough to know better and that its intimidating for other people to hear children shouting threats. I do understand that if they’ve actually said something nasty to somebody then thats not on but I dont know if she’s taken something said during a game completely out of context. She’s never liked them since we moved in so I’m finding it hard not to think this is partly about that

I brought them in and asked what had happened. I told them they cant go around threatening real people even as a joke but they insist they werent doing that

theyre all inside now and I’m starting to worry that I was unfair bringing them in when they hadnt actually done anything to her. I didnt want the situation to get worse or for her to call someone but it feels wrong that theyve been punished just because she doesnt like them. They were only playing together and there werent even any other kids there

For context our back garden is tiny and fully concrete so its not really suitable for four boys to run around playing in. This bit of grass opposite is where the local kids play and mine have always used it. I’m not saying theyre angels because theyre definitely loud and can get carried away but theyre children. I dont expect them to sit quietly indoors all day when the weathers finally dry

I’m just annoyed that she’s gone straight to threatening to report them rather than having a normal conversation with me. At the same time I dont want to be the parent who refuses to accept her kids have done anything wrong if they have

AIBU to let them play out with the toy swords? And does she actually have a point if they’ve been shouting things as part of their game?

Just moved to a new area and allowing your 4 year old to be roaming freely on the village green?

Your older ones are too young to be supervising your 6 and 4 year olds even if you keep checking from a window.
My 6 year old is only allowed in the park opposite our house, again fully fenced in without me if his oldest brother will go (year 9 at secondary).
Apart from that your neighbour sounds a misery, battling each other with plastic swords sounds fine but you lost a little of the high ground (you could have told her to mind her own business ) because you don’t know that they weren’t impacting anyone else passing by because they weren’t being supervised.

Kids play but it sounds like you are used to the noise of 4 boys and she isn’t. It’s her street too.

And yet you moved here with 4 very young children

She sounds like a meddling busy body but there's absolutely no way I would let young children play outside without also being there to supervise.

Not least because meddling busy bodies usually take it upon themselves to confront children who they know they can intimidate easier.

They were out. It was just you that wasn’t.

It’s not always very pleasant to go out in the rain.

Agreed

but Them’s the breaks when you have 4 young children

I find the ageism on here so depressing and unpleasant. Do people really think that they will never be old themselves or maybe they believe that by being nasty about an older woman it will somehow stop them growing old.

She’s completely overreacting and the police and council will not do anything.

Let your kids play.

Christ, no you are not being unreasonable! Your neighbour definitely is!

Yes, OP, you should have bought a rambling old pile in the country, with proper grounds and no neighbours.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, local kids play out in local public spaces and nobody dies.

Because it wasn’t raining today? Did you read the part where I said it was the first dry day in days so they wanted to go and play outside?

OP your kids playing in an enclosed area directly opposite your house in your eyeline on a quiet estate is perfectly fine for me.
Kids need some adventure and freedom. My youngest was out with her siblings (then 6 and 7) in similar situations. They had been taught road sense.
No wonder kids these days are so messed up if every single risk is taken away.
This is a controlled amount of risk at a sensible level. No need to stand right next to them in this situation IMO.

Maybe that’s all she could afford. You don’t know why the OP chose to move here.

Not your business to comment, tbh.

You said your were watching them through the window as you were folding laundry but surely (unless it’s a mountain of laundry!) that would only take 5 or 10 mins? Were you outside supervising them the rest of the time?

I think many people would be concerned at such young children (especially a 4yo!) being out with no adult supervision so if that’s the case, and the neighbour reports you, expect a visit from social services. They don’t do anything except give ‘advice’ but best to avoid it if possible.

Ah fair enough if it’s actual storms - you just said not dry so it sounded like it was just rainy

But it’s what’s needed when you have very young children. Lots of what is needed with little children isn’t 100% pleasant for the adult.

Edit - obviously not if it’s an actual storm as I’ve said above but rain - yes.

I was out all day yesterday with my DS in the rain because that’s what you do. We’ve had multiple UK holidays in the driving rain which DS doesn’t even remember having been rainy!

Exactly. Other than traffic (and it's an enclosed space and a quiet road so that is ruled out) what is the difference between kids playing out now and in the 1970s or 1980s?

Ignore all the twadlle about social services. They will not be visiting. They are not the parenting police.

I think children being a bit noisy playing outside is to be expected when they’ve been cooped up because of the weather.

my lads playing with swords used to do my head in but that’s just kids being kids. Now mine are older I love seeing other people’s kids playing outside even if it is a bit noisy.

You know better than us how secure the space is for your 4yo but sounds fine to me as you were keeping an eye on them, sounds to me like your neighbour is unreasonable

People like your neighbour would no doubt prefer your boys to be stuck inside for the whole of half term watching tv or on electronic devices. Take no notice of her. It’s good for them in so many ways to be out in the fresh air playing games and using their imagination. A’s long as they know not to say anything to anyone who’s not in their game, which I’m sure they do, then she has no business interfering.

And I bet your neighbour moans about kids these days being stuck on video games!

If I saw three boys yelling and playing with swords and a four year old running around a field “doing his own thing” I’d think fuck me, where are the parents?