To have let my boys play outside with toy swords?

[cm100298]

My neighbour has just had a go at me about my boys playing outside and is now threatening to report them. They were playing with plastic swords pretending to fight and apparently they were making threats to people. I honestly dont know what to make of it. sorry if the typing is a bit dodgy my phones screen is cracked and its making it hard to type properly

dc (8 7 6 4) the older 3 were playing together and the little one was running around the field doing his own thing mostly. They were on the bit of enclosed grass opposite our house where they always play. its not someones garden and its fenced off from the road

we’ve only recently moved in and she’s never seemed to like them. She’s made comments before about them being noisy and has never been particularly friendly so I do wonder if she’s already decided theyre a nuisance and is looking for reasons to complain

It’s the first dry day we’ve had in days so they’ve been desperate to get out. They’ve been stuck in the house for days and were going a bit stir crazy. They took some toy swords and a plastic shield out with them and were playing some sort of battle game. Yes they were being loud but they werent damaging anything or bothering anyone deliberately as far as I knew

There werent any other children out there. It was just my four boys so they werent playing with or threatening anyone else. They were running around together and shouting as part of their game

My neighbour came over and said she was sick of them shouting and carrying on and that she’d heard them threatening to stab people with their swords. She said it was completely unacceptable and if I couldnt control them she’d report them. She mentioned the council and the police although I couldnt really tell if she was serious or just trying to scare me

she also said I was being unreasonable allowing the little one out there as well because he’s only little (he is small for his age aswell). But he was just running around the field and wasnt doing anything to anyone. I dont see why he should have to stay indoors when theres a safe enclosed bit of grass right opposite the house

I said theyre plastic toy swords and the boys are playing not actually going around threatening people. But if I’m honest I wasnt stood next to them the whole time so I cant swear blind about every single thing they said. I can hear them from the front window and check on them but I’m not right there listening to every word of their game

She was basically saying theyre old enough to know better and that its intimidating for other people to hear children shouting threats. I do understand that if they’ve actually said something nasty to somebody then thats not on but I dont know if she’s taken something said during a game completely out of context. She’s never liked them since we moved in so I’m finding it hard not to think this is partly about that

I brought them in and asked what had happened. I told them they cant go around threatening real people even as a joke but they insist they werent doing that

theyre all inside now and I’m starting to worry that I was unfair bringing them in when they hadnt actually done anything to her. I didnt want the situation to get worse or for her to call someone but it feels wrong that theyve been punished just because she doesnt like them. They were only playing together and there werent even any other kids there

For context our back garden is tiny and fully concrete so its not really suitable for four boys to run around playing in. This bit of grass opposite is where the local kids play and mine have always used it. I’m not saying theyre angels because theyre definitely loud and can get carried away but theyre children. I dont expect them to sit quietly indoors all day when the weathers finally dry

I’m just annoyed that she’s gone straight to threatening to report them rather than having a normal conversation with me. At the same time I dont want to be the parent who refuses to accept her kids have done anything wrong if they have

AIBU to let them play out with the toy swords? And does she actually have a point if they’ve been shouting things as part of their game?

Nip it in the bud now or she will continue. She’s probably used to quiet road and no kids. Things are about to change. Shes not your friend and if shes old / retired, shes got nothing else going on in her life except to complain and curtain twitch.

I think you should be outside supervising your youngest two, this would avoid your neighbour complaining about what she can hear as you will know exactly what is said and what is happening.

Charming. Tell “old people” to “fuck off” tells us all about the type of person you are.

She sounds an absolute PITA. As long as you were watching, which sounds like you were, she’s being totally unreasonable

I swear some adults forget they were children some time in their life & actually went out to play, so sad

I would be incredibly, overwhelming polite and tell her that, of course if she feels it necessary she absolutely MUST report the children! Hopefully officialdom telling her not to be so silly will put a stop to her complaints and you not being rude or obstructive won't give her anything to fight against.

@cm100298 are you being honest with yourself about how loud they are being? Are they shouting/screaming?

Because you weren’t there, you literally have no idea whether A) She’s making a mountain out of a molehill or B) She’s right and your children were misbehaving.

That’s the crux of it, you don’t know. You weren’t there. You need to be watching them. They’re all really young.

She sounds like a miserable killjoy. They are children and it's great that they're outside playing together, away from screens. It's the stuff that childhood is made of and lovely that they're having fun, using their imaginations with their siblings.

Next time she moans ask her "what games would you like them to play?" "which toys would you like them to play with?" "do you remember being a child?" "did you always dream of being the neighbourhood moaning minnie?" (OK, don't ask the last one).

Let her complain to the council. Let her complain to the police.

My mum's got a nearby neighbour who moans regularly about the boys who live nextdoor to her. The mum of the boys said to my mum "I'm sorry if they make noise while they play outside, Sheila told me they're too loud" and my mum said "I love hearing children playing outside, that's what they're supposed to do. My children used to do the same in this same street when they were younger." They're lovely boys, really polite and respectful but sure they also play that makes noise and that's totally fine!

This. I expect she was dying for an excuse to come around and have a go. Personally I’d not let a four year old play outside in a shared area with road access unsupervised but I don’t think anything else was unreasonable. So they were shouting and playing, good. More kids should have the opportunity to play freely outside.

You should be out with them really at their ages.

I would get your DC to offer her a ticket to their next historical reenactment.

Your kids were doing nothing wrong, but you really should have been out there with them, for their safety. The field might be enclosed and visible from your house, but if you're not looking at it the whole time you could miss someone going in or the kids coming out.

He was unsupervised really. If there is a road between me and my 4 year old. I would worry. I do understand the temptation to get on with washing folding, but I think on balance OP should have been on the site with the four year old.

I just think that is too little. It takes a few seconds to leave the fenced area and run out under a car. If the game goes wrong, they stub their toe etc, a four year will focus on that upset and not an oncoming car. Also if she looks away and the boys are playing, he could slip off unnoticed. We know that from the news.

But the playing with plastic toys is fine. The bit about the "threats" is pathetic. I'd ignore her.

I think people are being incredibly polite to you. Four small boys screaming and shouting outside in a public area with swords and no adult supervision is my idea of neighbours from hell.

not loads of washing lol just a basket full, I was trying to get it done while they were out for a bit.
They do play other things, they make up their own games half the time. In the house they play with figures and lego mostly but they were fed up of being stuck inside so took the swords out and I honestly didnt think it was a big deal. Other kids sometimes play on the grass too and bring things like light sabers and water guns in the summer so its not unusual round here.

its an estate so you dont really get random people walking past, its mostly people who live here and the odd visitor. I didnt see anyone walk past while they were out there for them to be threatening anyway. Obviously I couldnt hear every single thing they said from inside but from what I could see they were playing with each other, not going up to people or bothering anyone. I do get that I cant know exactly what was said the whole time but I think theres a difference between kids shouting as part of a game and actually threatening someone.

I wouldn’t report children playing, but personally, I don’t like to see them playing with toy swords or guns. I never allowed mine to have that type of plaything.

Wow - can’t believe the nasty ageist and misogynistic posts here on the basis of one person’s story. On the face of it, yes it seems unreasonable but I’m glad we don’t burn women as witches anymore as the pitchforks were out on this one straight away…

“Karen” “nutter” “busybody” “bitch” “old troublemaker” etc how depressing that we so easily castigate women with these labels before hearing both sides. 😔

Nothing wrong with them playing and running around at all.

But I agree with those saying 4 is far too young to be outside without an adult out there with them - so is 6 really. If your 4 yo is outside, you should be outside too - something could happen in a split second.

I haven't read your entire post because it's very long, but it's very obvious from the start that your neighbour is nuts.

It's perfectly fine for kids to play with toy swords and clearly, they are not actually threatening to stab people. They're little boys swashbuckling with plastic swords, not teenagers waving zombie knives around in a county lines gang dispute. Good grief.

Also I don’t think rain is a reason to be in for days at a time - you all put waterproofs on and get outside just as you would if it was dry. I think that’s the main problem here tbh.

She said "she’d heard them threatening to stab people with their swords"

Course she did! Silly old bag is trying to condition you into not letting your boys out to play and making noise! Sod her!

Next time say "Sorry?" No, I cant hear you can you repeat that?"
Don't bend to the old bat

I'm old and retired and strangely I do not complain and curtain twitch, far too busy doing things that I enjoy as well as things that i have to do. Three small children (6, 4 and 2) live next door to me. They can be noisy, but that's just kids and I would never complain as despite being old I do appreciate that children make a noise, They are lovely kids who always chat to me when I see them. Less of the ageism please

I would teach them to stop if they see her and say 'Hello Mrs Bouquet, how are you today?'

She obviously wants attention, the nasty individual.

Some people just like to complain. We have a public grassy patch outside our house. My neighbours kids play out there most days in the summer and yeah you get a bit of shouting but it doesn't bother me, you can't expect kids to be silent and as long as they are having fun, that's what matters. They are not hurting anyone. Just ignore her. She's probably just a busybody with little going on in her life so has create drama.

There’s been storms here otherwise we would go out in the rain.