To have let my boys play outside with toy swords?

[cm100298]

My neighbour has just had a go at me about my boys playing outside and is now threatening to report them. They were playing with plastic swords pretending to fight and apparently they were making threats to people. I honestly dont know what to make of it. sorry if the typing is a bit dodgy my phones screen is cracked and its making it hard to type properly

dc (8 7 6 4) the older 3 were playing together and the little one was running around the field doing his own thing mostly. They were on the bit of enclosed grass opposite our house where they always play. its not someones garden and its fenced off from the road

we’ve only recently moved in and she’s never seemed to like them. She’s made comments before about them being noisy and has never been particularly friendly so I do wonder if she’s already decided theyre a nuisance and is looking for reasons to complain

It’s the first dry day we’ve had in days so they’ve been desperate to get out. They’ve been stuck in the house for days and were going a bit stir crazy. They took some toy swords and a plastic shield out with them and were playing some sort of battle game. Yes they were being loud but they werent damaging anything or bothering anyone deliberately as far as I knew

There werent any other children out there. It was just my four boys so they werent playing with or threatening anyone else. They were running around together and shouting as part of their game

My neighbour came over and said she was sick of them shouting and carrying on and that she’d heard them threatening to stab people with their swords. She said it was completely unacceptable and if I couldnt control them she’d report them. She mentioned the council and the police although I couldnt really tell if she was serious or just trying to scare me

she also said I was being unreasonable allowing the little one out there as well because he’s only little (he is small for his age aswell). But he was just running around the field and wasnt doing anything to anyone. I dont see why he should have to stay indoors when theres a safe enclosed bit of grass right opposite the house

I said theyre plastic toy swords and the boys are playing not actually going around threatening people. But if I’m honest I wasnt stood next to them the whole time so I cant swear blind about every single thing they said. I can hear them from the front window and check on them but I’m not right there listening to every word of their game

She was basically saying theyre old enough to know better and that its intimidating for other people to hear children shouting threats. I do understand that if they’ve actually said something nasty to somebody then thats not on but I dont know if she’s taken something said during a game completely out of context. She’s never liked them since we moved in so I’m finding it hard not to think this is partly about that

I brought them in and asked what had happened. I told them they cant go around threatening real people even as a joke but they insist they werent doing that

theyre all inside now and I’m starting to worry that I was unfair bringing them in when they hadnt actually done anything to her. I didnt want the situation to get worse or for her to call someone but it feels wrong that theyve been punished just because she doesnt like them. They were only playing together and there werent even any other kids there

For context our back garden is tiny and fully concrete so its not really suitable for four boys to run around playing in. This bit of grass opposite is where the local kids play and mine have always used it. I’m not saying theyre angels because theyre definitely loud and can get carried away but theyre children. I dont expect them to sit quietly indoors all day when the weathers finally dry

I’m just annoyed that she’s gone straight to threatening to report them rather than having a normal conversation with me. At the same time I dont want to be the parent who refuses to accept her kids have done anything wrong if they have

AIBU to let them play out with the toy swords? And does she actually have a point if they’ve been shouting things as part of their game?

Jolly pleased she has 4 DC. We need people to have large families otherwise the world is going to be in a parlous state economically, top heavy with older people. She didn't strike me as inattentive, either.

Your neighbour is being unreasonable to complain about the noise of children playing outside in daytime at half term, especially as cries of "stab 'im!" etc was probably just to each other as part of the game.

However they are not being unreasonable to warn you that they strongly considered calling the police as your 7, 6 and 4 year olds were outside without an adult - if someone started a thread on Mumsnet about being concerned that their neighbours' infant children were out without an adult they would be repeatedly told to call the police/social services! Around here 9-10 is the youngest age for playing out so even the 8yr old is borderline imo, but you do say that you can actually see them from the house and were checking.

How do you know that biologically they are all hers?

They may be but it’s incredibly rare to have 3 kids within 3 years, considering pregnancy is 9 months.

Omg, these replies are crazy. Its gone from the original question to .. people are mysoginstic and the OP shouldn't have had 4 children because her housing is unsuitable.

In other situations posters would be rushing to say how their children always played out from age 5 and it would be helicopter parenting to be outside with them.
The OP was supervising. She says she could see the entire green area through the window. Children have played fake sword fighting for hundreds of years. They were only mock threatening each other. This is fairly normal make believe play. Perhaps the neighbour isn't used to having a young family next to her. But trying to police children's games and complaining to the parent about said games isn't on.

That’s just not how it works in the modern day. We supervise our children and avoid unwanted risks to their safety.

Even if your road is just for estate traffic, that doesn't account for visitors and delivery drivers. You cannot be that far away from a 4 and 6 year old. It's not fair on the older boys to be responsible for them. Your neighbour might be over exaggerating, the police will not care about boys sword fighting. However, if you were in your house across the road there is no way you could know how loud they are. There is fun, boisterous play and there is screeching and screaming. Perhaps it was the latter and the neighbour was at her wits end. She might be unwell, or starting with dementia or all manner of reasons why she felt they shouldn't be doing what they are doing and since you weren't actually supervising, just watching through a window from (realistically) quite some distance away, you can't really argue with her about how loud they were and what they were threatening.

The neighbour probably felt very uncomfortable that there was no adult looking after a 4 yo.

Your neighbour sounds a bit overzealous regarding the noise/game presuming in was daytime hours. I would say an 8 yr old shouldnt have supervisory responsibility for the younger children though ,so adult supervision of a 6 and 4 yr old is needed.

How do you know that biologically they are all hers?

Statistics. Balance of probability.

Yes, I had two myself.
It was very hard one summer when it rained non-stop.

Yes, it does. The children are being given freedom and tools to develop their imaginations. They play together, which suggests collaborative play and strong sibling relationships. Their mother is intelligent and articulate. I’m an early years teacher, and I’d say the signs are good.

Only said by someone with privilege

Yes, I do.

Why don't you?

She sounds like an old bat, ignore her and let the kida play. As long as they aren't disturbing anyone or causing damage then there's no issue.

Stereotypes exist for a reason.

Send some more primary age kids out dressed as police officers to arrest them .

You should be supervising the 4 year old.

Why do your four boys' right to play noisily trump your neighbour's right to enjoy her home peacefully? Parent them.

This

I’ve been out in the rain many times with my DC when they were younger.
(And I’ve sat at many a river bank in the rain with older DS while he fished!)

Tbh, if they didn’t enjoy being out, I’d take them home.
I don’t think we need to martyr ourselves to be good parents.

I'd burst out laughing. Call the police and the council on some tiny kids playing knights or whatever?! 'Yeah you go ahead and do that mate.'

Literally she sounds miserable as fuck. Just smile broadly and ignore every word.

I think it’s really nice that your boys actually play!

I’d ignore the woman, she could have asked nicely for a start!

Just keep a proper eye on them and make sure they’re not screaming obnoxiously, that’s all I’d ask as a neighbour!

The police and council aren’t going to care about children playing games.

It was 2pm during half term, there’d obviously be some noise and no they weren’t screaming. I do parent them but you can’t expect quiet all the time unless they’re asleep or sat on screens all day (which my dc hate as they’re too active) and that definitely would get people having something to say about that too.

Have I missed the posts where OP has said anything about her income, profession or class?

Are your replies based only on the income of the OP posting?

What part of the story has given you any indication of whether the kids will be net contributors?