To have let my boys play outside with toy swords?

[cm100298]

My neighbour has just had a go at me about my boys playing outside and is now threatening to report them. They were playing with plastic swords pretending to fight and apparently they were making threats to people. I honestly dont know what to make of it. sorry if the typing is a bit dodgy my phones screen is cracked and its making it hard to type properly

dc (8 7 6 4) the older 3 were playing together and the little one was running around the field doing his own thing mostly. They were on the bit of enclosed grass opposite our house where they always play. its not someones garden and its fenced off from the road

we’ve only recently moved in and she’s never seemed to like them. She’s made comments before about them being noisy and has never been particularly friendly so I do wonder if she’s already decided theyre a nuisance and is looking for reasons to complain

It’s the first dry day we’ve had in days so they’ve been desperate to get out. They’ve been stuck in the house for days and were going a bit stir crazy. They took some toy swords and a plastic shield out with them and were playing some sort of battle game. Yes they were being loud but they werent damaging anything or bothering anyone deliberately as far as I knew

There werent any other children out there. It was just my four boys so they werent playing with or threatening anyone else. They were running around together and shouting as part of their game

My neighbour came over and said she was sick of them shouting and carrying on and that she’d heard them threatening to stab people with their swords. She said it was completely unacceptable and if I couldnt control them she’d report them. She mentioned the council and the police although I couldnt really tell if she was serious or just trying to scare me

she also said I was being unreasonable allowing the little one out there as well because he’s only little (he is small for his age aswell). But he was just running around the field and wasnt doing anything to anyone. I dont see why he should have to stay indoors when theres a safe enclosed bit of grass right opposite the house

I said theyre plastic toy swords and the boys are playing not actually going around threatening people. But if I’m honest I wasnt stood next to them the whole time so I cant swear blind about every single thing they said. I can hear them from the front window and check on them but I’m not right there listening to every word of their game

She was basically saying theyre old enough to know better and that its intimidating for other people to hear children shouting threats. I do understand that if they’ve actually said something nasty to somebody then thats not on but I dont know if she’s taken something said during a game completely out of context. She’s never liked them since we moved in so I’m finding it hard not to think this is partly about that

I brought them in and asked what had happened. I told them they cant go around threatening real people even as a joke but they insist they werent doing that

theyre all inside now and I’m starting to worry that I was unfair bringing them in when they hadnt actually done anything to her. I didnt want the situation to get worse or for her to call someone but it feels wrong that theyve been punished just because she doesnt like them. They were only playing together and there werent even any other kids there

For context our back garden is tiny and fully concrete so its not really suitable for four boys to run around playing in. This bit of grass opposite is where the local kids play and mine have always used it. I’m not saying theyre angels because theyre definitely loud and can get carried away but theyre children. I dont expect them to sit quietly indoors all day when the weathers finally dry

I’m just annoyed that she’s gone straight to threatening to report them rather than having a normal conversation with me. At the same time I dont want to be the parent who refuses to accept her kids have done anything wrong if they have

AIBU to let them play out with the toy swords? And does she actually have a point if they’ve been shouting things as part of their game?

Yes but what do you think a road is for? It may not be the M25 but it's for cars.

You should be out there with them. Only takes a second for an accident to happen.

Was this enclosed field not private property @cm100298 ?

You've ignored the most pertinent part of my post. A 4 year old is allowed out to play in the streets without adult superision.

Let your children play, she sounds bonkers

Kids need this kind of play. She was being a twat.

I think playing with pretend weapons is an own garden thing really- it sounds like an overreaction, but I know plenty of people who wouldn't be thrilled.

4 and 6 are too young to be out playing without you. However I see nothing wrong with children playing with toy swords.

I live in Ireland, maybe it's different here but I can't believe the reactions of some people just because some kids are out playing and making a bit of noise. Mine are older now so those days are (just) over for me but as long as it's not that high pitched screaming constantly, I quite like listening to the other kids on the estate out playing.

.....just a suggestion 😂

You're just being silly now. Ridiculous nit-picking.

Is she for real! Let her report you I say…

Yes things have changed dramatically, in that children are in fact safer than we were in the 70's and 80's (GenX here).

What we didnt have were parents in a constant state of panic about something happening to us, and so allowed us freedom to live and grow.

I was abused as a child.....by a member of my own family. If your child told you something like that now, you would believe them, not beat them for telling "evil lies". Lets the kids play out and put your phone down, its not doing you any favours.

no its not private property as far as I know, its just the little grassed area opposite the houses. its enclosed and fenced off from the road but its not someones garden or anything like that. other kids play there sometimes too so I always thought it was just a communal bit of green space for people round here to use.

And enclosed and fenced off field will very likely be private property

It's too funny you think I am the one nit-picking!

The children are the other side of a road. End of. No lies, no nit-picking, no out of context. That IS the context.

Yes, I was wondering the same.

Agreed. Totally irresponsible. A 4 year old being sent with a 6/8 year siblings to play across the road. Unbelievable. And all that peiple are focusing on here about are toy F-ing swords.

Yes, in a way, I suppose. Back in the 60s it was commonplace for groups of kids to play out, with the older ones looking after the younger ones. As a 4 - 6 year old, I was regularly taken to the park by neighbours’ older kids (9/10). It wasn’t regarded as negligent or irresponsible, it was normal and accepted.

Stop with the fucking ageism. Its offensive. And shows your ignorance.

World has gone mad. Can't believe there are posters here who tell kids to be quiet in a park 😂.

The space is also literally just outside the house - she was watching from the window. The road sounds incredibly quiet! We live somewhere similar, grass directly opposite our house, no need to cross a road but, there is a road - small close where literally the only people driving or walking are the handful of neighbours.

I'm not a boomer. I still have young teens at home. Mine were out at 4 in a quiet estate, out with the other kids who live beside us. I watched from the window, could see them at all times. They knew not to go where I couldn't see them. As I said, I live in Ireland, maybe it's different here, people expect kids to be out playing.

I’m Gen X too. I would have thought with your unfortunate history you would be marching on the side of child safety, ie supervision of a 4 yo in this instance.

Unless you’re staying OP should put her phone down, rain jacket on and go out with her kids rather than lazily watching sporadically from a window?

Here's a bit of a story.
Next to my house is a field. We used it as a paddock, it's nice and flat.
My wife has passed and my daughter has moved into a wonderful career, horses are lovely but Im a bit shy around them so haven't kept any.

In 2015 two liitle boys knocked at my door and asked if they could play at being knights in the field, their Mum was with them but she stayed at the gate and let them ask for themselves, they gave their names and told me they were 12 and fourteen.
They
Of course I let them.

They are both in their middle twenties now, there have been breaks, while they were at university and other things.
They fight in full armour now, they do a thing called HEMA, which you can Google.
Both those boys are sons to me, and one of them is actually my son in law.

We had to have a lot of boundaries, even ten years ago, I was forty years old and a very distracted widower.