To have let my boys play outside with toy swords?

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My neighbour has just had a go at me about my boys playing outside and is now threatening to report them. They were playing with plastic swords pretending to fight and apparently they were making threats to people. I honestly dont know what to make of it. sorry if the typing is a bit dodgy my phones screen is cracked and its making it hard to type properly

dc (8 7 6 4) the older 3 were playing together and the little one was running around the field doing his own thing mostly. They were on the bit of enclosed grass opposite our house where they always play. its not someones garden and its fenced off from the road

we’ve only recently moved in and she’s never seemed to like them. She’s made comments before about them being noisy and has never been particularly friendly so I do wonder if she’s already decided theyre a nuisance and is looking for reasons to complain

It’s the first dry day we’ve had in days so they’ve been desperate to get out. They’ve been stuck in the house for days and were going a bit stir crazy. They took some toy swords and a plastic shield out with them and were playing some sort of battle game. Yes they were being loud but they werent damaging anything or bothering anyone deliberately as far as I knew

There werent any other children out there. It was just my four boys so they werent playing with or threatening anyone else. They were running around together and shouting as part of their game

My neighbour came over and said she was sick of them shouting and carrying on and that she’d heard them threatening to stab people with their swords. She said it was completely unacceptable and if I couldnt control them she’d report them. She mentioned the council and the police although I couldnt really tell if she was serious or just trying to scare me

she also said I was being unreasonable allowing the little one out there as well because he’s only little (he is small for his age aswell). But he was just running around the field and wasnt doing anything to anyone. I dont see why he should have to stay indoors when theres a safe enclosed bit of grass right opposite the house

I said theyre plastic toy swords and the boys are playing not actually going around threatening people. But if I’m honest I wasnt stood next to them the whole time so I cant swear blind about every single thing they said. I can hear them from the front window and check on them but I’m not right there listening to every word of their game

She was basically saying theyre old enough to know better and that its intimidating for other people to hear children shouting threats. I do understand that if they’ve actually said something nasty to somebody then thats not on but I dont know if she’s taken something said during a game completely out of context. She’s never liked them since we moved in so I’m finding it hard not to think this is partly about that

I brought them in and asked what had happened. I told them they cant go around threatening real people even as a joke but they insist they werent doing that

theyre all inside now and I’m starting to worry that I was unfair bringing them in when they hadnt actually done anything to her. I didnt want the situation to get worse or for her to call someone but it feels wrong that theyve been punished just because she doesnt like them. They were only playing together and there werent even any other kids there

For context our back garden is tiny and fully concrete so its not really suitable for four boys to run around playing in. This bit of grass opposite is where the local kids play and mine have always used it. I’m not saying theyre angels because theyre definitely loud and can get carried away but theyre children. I dont expect them to sit quietly indoors all day when the weathers finally dry

I’m just annoyed that she’s gone straight to threatening to report them rather than having a normal conversation with me. At the same time I dont want to be the parent who refuses to accept her kids have done anything wrong if they have

AIBU to let them play out with the toy swords? And does she actually have a point if they’ve been shouting things as part of their game?

What a contradictory post. So you did exactly what OP's children were doing and it was great for you...but OP's children shouldn't be doing it?

What's actually up with you?

Why so tetchy with everyone?

I'm the same sort of age. Mine used to go over the Army training grounds and come back with spent ammo, camouflage nets etc. Not at 4 but 7or 8.

Yes, exactly.

The field is enclosed and theres no access straight onto any main roads where we are. The road they have to cross is for houses around here and so its not a busy road

So the field is private property?

You need to be out with them, sorry. You can fold the laundry when you bring them in for lunch. If one of them decides to come home and there happens to be a delivery van passing, you can't do anything to prevent tragedy from inside a window.

And then you'll know for sure your neighbour is being batshit about the noise. (Or not.)

Thanks for backing me up.

The road they have to cross

No ball games, no skateboards, no music brigade can do one. If you don’t want to hear children playing go and live in a bungalow cul de sac.

I would have supervised mine when they were that young but not everyone does. Maybe she’s not used to hearing children play. Children play outdoor less and I think some people have forgotten how noisy they can be. Not sure who she’d report you to. I was once told off by a neighbour because I was playing with a ball on a Sunday. There are some miserable people around.

Are you for real???

Ask her if she wants you to gag them and tie them to a chair. She is being ridiculous so the best thing to do is ignore her as nothing will ever make her happy

I suggest you read again.

I grew up playing like that in appropriate places - in the orchards and woodlands on a friends farm, up the side of Helvellyn, on the banks of the Dee, where the nearest property for miles was - ours (or a friends where we were staying). Where the only adults we were likely to irritate were our own.

At home, in either suburban house or village property, we were quiet and sensible, no screaming, no yelling.

The point being (and I think you could see if it you weren't being obtuse) that we were supervised where necessary and taught what was appropriate, where. We were not left unsupervised and free to play whatever games we fancied, in places where it would interfere with other peoples enjoyment of their homes.

What exactly does it tell you?

I think she is probably a bit of a moaner but you are too blasé about the amount of noise they were making and the game they were playing plus a 4 yo is too little to be playing out without you actually being present outside .

Omg we have lost the plot as a society I can’t believe how many people even on this thread think you should be out there hovering over them! Don’t even get me started on the neighbour, everyone has forgotten that kids being out, playing together is literally how we learn to become human. It’s how we grow social skills how we build creativity learn to problem solve. Of COURSE the neighbour is batshit and of course you shouldn’t have to be out there with them as long as they’re safe from traffic and you’re a stones throw away, Christ alive no wonder kids are addicted to iPads and completely socially bereft these days, I despair.

I’m sorry, what? Were you not allowed out to play at that age, especially if there were older kids with you? They’re 4 and 6, not toddlers anymore.

I do take them out aswell, they have scooters and we go to places like the farm and parks etc. they just wanted to play on the little field today and I dont really see the problem with me not being stood right next to them the whole time when theyre literally opposite the house and I can see them from the window.

If they’d had a ball then I might have been a bit more concerned as even though its not a busy road it could have gone into the road and one of them might have run after it without thinking. But it was just the swords, they werent playing with anything that could bounce away into the road or anything like that.

they do know to look both ways and not to run across the road without looking, theyve known that from an early age even the 4 year old knows to stop and look. obviously hes only 4 so im not saying id trust him to go off crossing roads on his own, but he wasnt on his own and I was keeping an eye on them. I just dont think every bit of outdoor play needs me stood right beside them when theyre somewhere I can see them.

I remember the Jamie Bulger case. The boys were 10. A game gone wrong?

I'll also say that my children didn't have guns, swords or any toy weapons as they grew up and certainly didn't suffer. Indeed I can't remember any of their friends having things like this either. It is certainly not a normal part of childs play as you seem to infer. They also didn't play out on the street, especially when they were 4 years old. That is utterly irresponsible. It takes my breath away.

Maybe I'm not most people? We have no idea what they were doing, and if and whom they were threatening. I'd suggest that if they're allowed to run unbidden at the age of 4 they are not being given much guidance in anything.

If your kids were threatening to stab me with a plastic sword I think.id try and die as dramatically as possible. Kids these days can't win. They're outside, they are annoying They're on devices they're going to nit be able to make friends.
Tell her to piss off.

I only played unattended by adults in our garden or a friend's garden at 4. I didn't go to a public park unattended until I was about 9.

We seemed to manage all the creative play, exercise etc in a private external space.

Yes, the sword game is fine. It's exactly the sort of imaginative play children were doing before they were doing it on ipads - and I know which I'd prefer.

Children have played with swords since Adam was a cowboy swashbuckler.

Half a quote as well as lies and exaggerations.

The road they have to cross is for houses around here and so its not a busy road

Actually, I really can't believe how many posters on here who seem to think it's appropriate to let a 4 year old out to 'play' without adult supervision. What the hell is going on? Have I entered some kind of time warp?