To think parenting high energy little boys is a different type of parenting?

[iwonderificould]

DS is now nearly six and I have to say I love parenting him now although he can still be quite hard work, but he’s got bags of energy, fearless, independent and fun to be around.

But thinking back to when he was a toddler … it was really hard work and not very enjoyable. He didn’t really play with toys in any meaningful way but could create chaos in seconds. One of his favourite things to do was to pull books off the bookcase and throw them across the room, or empty the cats water bowl. He was just a mini wrecking ball of energy and mischief. He didn’t even watch TV so I didn’t have that option.

We ended up out a LOT as a result. I remember my friends from the NCT group (all with girls!) commenting on it. If there was a group, we were there, we did soft play, parks, all sorts, I had so many passive aggressive sort of comments about it.

Three years later I had my second child and I understood that actually you don’t have to be out all the time. DH and I waited for her to destroy the house (sort of toddler part 2) but it didn’t happen and still hasn’t. I can stay in and do puzzles and playing.

There wasn’t and isn’t anything ‘wrong’ with ds; the opposite but I do find even now that energy needs burning. So when I read on here things like ‘when do they get time to chill / I loved staying home doing crafts and playing with mine / oh a long bath is all they need’ I realise some of us with children with bags of energy … we are doing a very different parenting journey!

Where on earth did I mention toddlers? 😎

Two boys, both high energy but well behaved at school. Always tried to tire them out. I remember one New Years Day being the first family at a National Trust Park waiting for it open . They were both raring to go! Both now young teens. Loads of sport and hate to chill, always on the go. Always asking what are we doing today?

Be warned, the more they do when they are young - the more stamina they build 😂

My DD is high energy to the point that my parents who raised three children (1 boy and 2 girls) were amazed at her running around so hard after hours of playing. It was as though she picked up speed. From sun up to sun down she has always been a huge ball of energy and we are constantly active. I definitely see other kids at daycare or at play dates, whether boys or girls, who are much more calmer and I imagine they would be the types to sit down and do a puzzle.

My daughter as a baby and toddler was very chilled, easy going, she slept, ate, laughed, played nice, very few tantrums. Just no issues.

My son is wild. Just wild. He did not sleep through still occasionally wakes, he needed to be held so much I got tennis elbow on maternity leave, as a toddler he fought meal times, he fought dressing, he fought brushing teeth. Starting to come round to dressing and teeth and touch wood having fewer tantrums now. It has been exhausting at times.

A bigger age gap between them.

Daughter's teenage years however particularly 12-13 a test beyond what I thought was possible. By 14 all calm again. Never want to experience that again I'm hoping my son's teenage years are a little smoother.

I take my hat off to you, I have 3 kids, oldest is a boy but he has always been so chill, not the wrecking, rough housing type. When I see other boys I think I wouldn't cope 🙈
Don't get me wrong, they aren't perfect, they can create plenty of mess and noise etc but there is no wrestling or rugby tackling or anything like that.

Agree with many other’s comments that it’s not necessarily a boy thing .
I have 3 daughters and I’d say my grandson is easier than my girls were .
My girls ran off , wouldn’t sit still if we were out in a cafe or restaurant for example.
My grandson even at age 3 would sit nicely between myself and my daughter to eat his food .
Of course he is active wants to play outside and go to playgrounds but he doesn’t run off like my girls did .
To be fair I could occupy my girls with art and craft at home though and they would watch a little TV .
I remember another mum who said “ oh you’re lucky, all girls they won’t run off at the park and will stay nearby to play “
Me “ no 🤣”

2 placid boys and a slightly chaotic girl over here

I understand the argument that gender differences are socialised, but the higher rate of rough and tumble play in boys appears across cultures at very early ages and mirrors patterns in all primates and mammals. That strongly suggests a biological influence.

Obviously individuals are individuals and you can get girls who like to wrestle and boys who don’t.

I have a boy who was non stop (and frankly at 23 can barely sit still now! He runs before work, is on his feet all day there, plays football and kickboxing after or goes to the gym). My DD is much lower energy, academic and creative. I’m not saying it’s a gender thing (though I would generalise that it is), but personality.

It isn't a boy/girl thing but a high energy child thing. I have 2 of them and my parenting journey is not the same as most of my friends. It's joyful but tiring.

I’ve often wondered this actually, like have I actually contributed to it!?

He is generally quite easy now as you can just go somewhere he can run about and he’ll entertain himself happily. He’ll also spend ages in the garden in good weather. But my toddler experience and that of others differ.

It’s personality more than gender as I’ve got a bonkers girl! She rarely sits still, ants in pants, loads of energy and loves physical stuff like climbing trees and getting muddy, even wrestling . Even when she was a baby she was always kicking her legs 😆 it’s only the last couple of years she will sit to do art work. I used to look at my friends calm girls and wonder what i had done differently.
She’s my only one 😍😅

Is say parenting a high energy child of either gender is difficult.

My 2 year old daughter is always on the go, we are out hours each day. It’s not about their sex. Thats his personality.

Boys absolutely are generally more active toddlers. Alway made me laugh when my friends who were mums of girls would say 'oh actually Betty is really active!' and like I've seen Betty sit still and nurse a babychino on several occasions whereas my son knocks it back like a shot and is out the door in a millisecond.

They only ever realised if they went on to have a boy.

Honestly can't get over mums here saying it isn't a boy / girl thing.
It is. Exceptions to the rule don't disprove the rule.

It’s really not. Not at all.

my MIL has six boys, and won’t watch my youngest two for even five minutes, girls.

the older two girls, yes.

it’s not a boy girl thing. It’s a personality thing

My grandson remarked "I don't like tidying. Untidying is much easier". I had to agree.

It is a proven fact, look it up.
Of course there are variations within each sex.

I needed to get out every day with DD in the same way, YABU to turn it into a boys/girls thing, it’s just about parenting the child you have, at the stage they are at.

I have 2 of each and I found boys so much easier than girls , you just have to give them something to do .
Girls are a whole different ball game . Not only my youngest is worse than any boy I know but they argue , they argument , they have an atitude problem and behave like divas . Worse of all is they hold grudges ! The 2 girls together are enough to make the Dalai Lama feel loose his 🤬!

I have twin girls but I relate very strongly to your description of your eldest! But the difference may be that eventually they food really get into crafts so I sometimes get quite a lot of peace with them colouring. But they are wild!!!

But it’s not ! At all . Boys are so much easier on so many levels imo

I have 3 boys and they are all completely different. One is a friendly explorer who gets on with most people and likes to know how everything works (he liked to run off and find new friends, he would break things or take them apart to see what's inside); one is quiet, thoughtful and bookish, he likes to find deep meanings (he played quietly on his own creating worlds with a lot of imaginary play and loved stories); my youngest does every sport going and gets on with younger and older people alike, he loves helping others (nightmare ball of energy, but somehow still popular with teachers/kids).

They all came with their own challenges and worries at different stages of life. The balls of energy can be challenging earlier in life, but the quiet bookish ones often come with challenges later in life.

I expect girls are just the same; some will be nightmare balls of energy, and some will be quiet and bookish.

I have 4 boys. Eldest 3 were all fine. Wondeful infact.....my 4th.....my word i love him but he is hard work. He never plays with toys - just wants to threw them. If it isn't loud, he doesn't want it. He holds toys that flash right up to his eyes.
He just wrecks everything. Cant take him anywhere as he doesnt understand playfulness or how to interact with others. Not even to his nannys bc he smacks the tv, pulls her blinds etc. Our place is 100% him proof so just easier having him at home. At toddler group he was absolutely wild charging around, rilunning backwards and forwards over and over, throwing all the books, toys ect. All the other children looked at him like he was possessed. I realised then he wasn't just boisterous, there was something else.
He is 3 and on the autism pathway waiting to be assessed. He is non verbal but makes so much noise it's unreal. BUT he is always happy. Very happy. Hardly ever meltdown and his favourite place to go is big Asda. He loves the lights and he loves people too. He is a darling but I am TIRED.