No one seems to have much of a personality these days?

[Signingwithafelttippen]

Including myself in this too probably!

Has anyone noticed this? Maybe it's an age thing?
When my Dc was younger, I remember the kids parties having a bit of an atmosphere about them, all us parents were knackered, but we generally tried to have a laugh, chatted, made conversation and were interested in one another (or at least pretended to be)
Mid -late 40's now, party today and a couple of weeks ago, just so flat, people barely speaking.
I visit my family, with Dsis and Dbro there, we all chat but having a laugh seems more of a thing of the past?
Everything seems so dull, are we all just collectively depressed or is it just the people around me?
I miss people with a bit of life about them, an interesting story to tell or a bit of wit

Is it just me?

I do know what you mean. My eldest is nearly 19 (yikes!) but I clearly remember all the parents at the kids parties being so chatty and animated - you’d always have a few quirky ones with hilarious stories and a real friendly atmosphere when we got together. My son had a disco party one year and all the mums got up and danced - such fun times. I do feel like this was a lost generation already though which is very sad 😔

This!!! I'm reading this thread quite interestedly. I've always had a big (but not abrasive) personality. I love a good debate, I like wacky things, and I love sharing stories.
I have noticed especially since my DD started school and I now interact on the school run and not solely in social settings, that it seems to be more of a badge of honour about who has it worst. It's exhausting to listen to, so I don't engage. No one wants to hear anything positive because it looks like you are bragging, so it's all doom and gloom and "woe is me"
I realised a few weeks ago whilst eavesdropping on a conversation that it's quite sad I only have a handful of people these days that I can be authentic with.

Secondary school. It appears to be getting worse year on year. It is so so sad.

Totally. I work somewhere where senior staff police people’s emails to make sure the “tone” is right. Not just requiring them to be polite and professional (which is fine) but proofreading juniors emails to make sure they have the right level of positivity when they contact clients etc. They police the way people dress and require female staff to have manicures. There are restrictions on what you can put on social media and how you behave outside work hours.

To a degree some of this is sensible reputation management but it goes way beyond this and it creates an environment where people feel they can’t let their guard down without fear of jeopardising their job. I don’t think this is that unusual either.

I think that corporate life has a much greater reach into the lives of ordinary people than it once did and it does make people take the edge off their personalities and revert to an inoffensive pleasing mean.

@Moonlightdust about the dancing….

I was at a bar around Christmas time and there was a fantastic DJ. It wasn’t advertised, we just popped in for a drink, so I suppose it’s possibly not the right audience. But I said to my friend (the last long time friend I have) “nobody is dancing” and she said “ well nobody will because now there’s the risk of it ending up on social media”.

Which is true.

There were lots of people filming the DJ… of course!

I think it’s less a personality void, it is just that people dont have to chat to people now(sadly some haven’t got the message!).

If you met me, you would probably say I had no personality, but it’s just that I cba to show it to people outside of my ’inner circle’.
The internet has enabled people to relate to others in a different way.

@Anarchy99 reading that, I’m guessing you’re not the sort of person that would go to a social group who meets in the pub? I’m seeing the people who actually wanted to go out and have a chat.

This is really interesting. I feel like I and some of my friends have become a bit more boring but I thought it was just middle age.

I do think that lots of people (including me) have put effort (successfully) into being amusing on social media/WhatsApp groups but that this style doesn't quite work in real life socialising.

I did so for many years and do meet with friends sometimes.

I think people don’t understand that the internet had changed things dramatically and this was accelerated by COVID. Not being loud and dancing etc doesn’t mean lack of personality, I think perhaps people are more thoughtful of others in a lot of ways.

I see many people online saying world not back to normal after covid - and I think this is what they mean.

Not sure it's covid exactly but mix of phones social media and depressing world order and probably money worries for more but people seem less engaged socially and more subdued.

Just out of interest, what sort of organisation do you work for? What industry? I work in the public sector and this is entirely alien to me.

My colleagues are very open and chatty with each other. We are all around or older than 45 though... and we're in the NE. Maybe this .makes us more chatty by nature too.

I actually think the world post COVID is better in a lot of ways. It won’t go back to the way things were because that isn’t how the world works.

You can have plenty of social contact without having to go anywhere (video calls have made distance seem invisible).

Many people are having a perfectly fun life but you wouldn’t necessarily know it as they are doing their interactions in other ways.

Its private sector and its an advisory function to businesses. Don’t want to be more specific than that. I think its a very distinct culture and probably quite different to public sector.

Its honestly horrible: I am like a fish out of water and trying to get out.

Very true about having opinions, I often don't say mine now, even with family I know think differently. It's strange, the differences would have been celebrated at one time and made for an interesting debate.

Not what you mean I'm sure, but this week I found myself nostalgic for when going out to pubs was still popular and the slightly anarchic fun that often entailed.

This has to be phones and sm surely? This is very worrying

What profession is this where you have to have manicures? That's madness

Fair enough. But would you go to a social, originally intended to meet new people - and not talk to anyone? That’s what I meant.

i’m not a fan of people being loud myself.

The point that you make about people having very big fulfilled lives online… I agree, they are. What’s a puzzle to me is that the people who are out and about seem very guarded and I don’t mean that they’re worried about saying something offensive… the concert is a really good example… they’ll tell you that they’ve been, but they have nothing to say about it.

People are much more guarded. Wary of the 'woke' police, perhaps.
When I was 9-5 every day in work, with the same 20-30 people around, more or less, for years at a time, we got to know, and care about, and joke with each other very well. But now I can, and do, work from home, and so do most others. The interaction is completely different. Nowadays, social life is half online. And online is harsh, judgemental, and I think often not true.
Also, even here, on Mumsnet, there was a different world. There were a few Christmases years ago when people helped with gifts for struggling families. I am sure sometimes people lied, but I think more than half the time it was genuine need and kindness. That trust has gone now. People are less naive/innocent.
In my private life, I have learnt to keep quiet about things I would have been comfortable sharing an opinion about in the past. I suppose everyone else has.

This exactly, You said it better than me.

yeah but is a kids party really the place for that?
it's a kids party
i'm guessing people have just come for the kids party not to have a natter with you
arrange a day or night out with the mums
then i think you can expect that there
not at a kids party i don't think

Everyone I know seems to be exhausted or borderline depressed tbh. In my 20s I used to hear of eg people on anti depressants and think it was shocking to think they were any way prevalent but now … god life is tough, it’s exhausting and non stop and you get two days a week off and those days are spent running about the place and trying to keep your life together while worrying about too many worries

Well, now I want to ask where you live and if you want to meet up to walk around an exhibition!!

I often feel like I

Like I am the one talking too much for too long and with too much enthusiasm!!