I have a first date in a few hours, now he’s texted me something that’s put me off

[Jtfrtj]

I have a first date tonight with a man I’ve never met, we started talking online. He knows I’m very into cooking/baking, and just now while texting him I told him I made some protein pancakes. He asked if he could have some, I joked back that I would make him some, and because they’re protein pancakes they will make him strong. He replied “Strong so I can lift you in bed yeah 😏?”. I’ve never even met this man before. Now I feel that expectation and pressure for sex is there now and feel less excited about meeting him. It also feels very presumptuous of him, like he thinks because I’ve agreed to a date I’m up for sexual activity. I’ve not texted back yet because I’m not sure I want to go now.

For context; I have never made any sexual remarks towards him before or him to me, we have been talking for almost two weeks. I am conventionally attractive but I am not provocative in how I dress or how I present myself online. Most of my photos online are of my travel pictures, scenery and food etc. I don’t think I do anything to invite these remarks or give off the impression that I’d be into that so prematurely, but for some reason men will always try and initiate a conversation about sex before the first date. I’m getting tired of it. Am I overreacting?

Urgh that's grim That would give me the massive ick. Vile. I would be cancelling. I'm so glad to not be in the online dating game. So many men are just rancid.

And why the hell would he need to 'lift you' into bed? Does he not think you're capable of getting in to bed yourself?!

What on earth is a protein pancake though?!

I asked if you were able to meet someone who met your standards. You did and I’m pleased for you. For many people dating is very very hard. Finding a great guy is like finding a needle in a haystack and I think one misstep in an online communication was not the red flag Mumsnet made it out to be. However the OP seems very happy with her decision and hopefully she’ll meet someone lovely at some point.

Me.

But this is my whole point. The OP wrote something that came across as very suggestive, and hence they got a cheeky suggestive comment back.

The man clearly thought that she was referring to him lifting her. Why else would be need to be strong??????

A lesson to be learned on being careful what you write in a message and how it is interpreted.

Glad you've binned him off.
That would be a massive red flag for me too.
Not even met the bloke but already he's envisaging you in bed together.
Breathe a massive sigh of relief

I would imagine he was thinking of a specific sex position, not having to lift the OP like she was unable to get into or out of bed 😬

Ahhhhh and NOW we are adding to the context...

As it is written, your message could easily be read as being flirty and cheeky.

"The man clearly thought that she was referring to him lifting her. Why else would be need to be strong??????"

What?? There are plenty of reasons why a person would like to be strong!

I can’t see the issue here, it’s a joke, I’d respond with yeah no luck mate or similar,

What was suggestive?

"As it is written, your message could easily be read as being flirty and cheeky."

Even if she's flirting she didn't invite him to mention having sex even before the first date!

Not an appropriate joke between people who haven't even met and she's given no indication she wants him to talk like that.

The suggestion of sex was a misstep - which she gave him the chance to recover from - telling her to calm down was the red flag

OMG actual wow! You are calling the OP a prick tease?

What a horrible misogynistic thing to say! I hope you are not a woman!

Nasty. Showing who you are @ThePerfectStormBird

No, the OP put this much earlier in the thread regarding them being athletes.
Possibly the first page of the thread

Calm down???
Bye bye. What an ass. You dodged a bullet there OP.

EXACTLY my point!

People interpret written text in different ways.

"they’re protein pancakes they will make him strong" written in a message could easily be interpreted as flirting and an innuendo.

It's the first thing I thought, and having worked in engineering for years it is also what most the men I worked with would have thought too if it was someone they were going on a date with.

The OP clearly did not mean it to be suggestive, but it can easily be interpreted as suggestive.

They are going on a date! It’s just a silly joke, he didn’t ask her to have sex with him for gods sake

That would put me off too. Even if I went against my gut and proceeded with the date I think I’d later regret it

This is a perfect example of the written word being interpreted differently from the intention it was written in. I wasn’t being nasty in the slightest, I was curious. Sometimes high standards can lead to a standard no one can reach and that can be lonely in the end. When this guy wrote his comment he was potentially feeling light hearted and silly, yet it landed as demanding and presumptuous. The written word goes wrong and it goes wrong often.

"The OP clearly did not mean it to be suggestive, but it can easily be interpreted as suggestive."

OMG. If you have a really dirty mind you can turn any innocent sentence into something suggestive. Doesn't give him the right to be inappropriate.

You think he's childish to block you after you said let's leave it? What did you expect him to do? I mean surely you were intending to block him if you weren't interested, are you childish too?
His remark was stupid and obviously he wanted sex so your not at all unreasonable to say let's forget it. You are unreasonable to think his response to that was wrong.