I have a first date in a few hours, now he’s texted me something that’s put me off

[Jtfrtj]

I have a first date tonight with a man I’ve never met, we started talking online. He knows I’m very into cooking/baking, and just now while texting him I told him I made some protein pancakes. He asked if he could have some, I joked back that I would make him some, and because they’re protein pancakes they will make him strong. He replied “Strong so I can lift you in bed yeah 😏?”. I’ve never even met this man before. Now I feel that expectation and pressure for sex is there now and feel less excited about meeting him. It also feels very presumptuous of him, like he thinks because I’ve agreed to a date I’m up for sexual activity. I’ve not texted back yet because I’m not sure I want to go now.

For context; I have never made any sexual remarks towards him before or him to me, we have been talking for almost two weeks. I am conventionally attractive but I am not provocative in how I dress or how I present myself online. Most of my photos online are of my travel pictures, scenery and food etc. I don’t think I do anything to invite these remarks or give off the impression that I’d be into that so prematurely, but for some reason men will always try and initiate a conversation about sex before the first date. I’m getting tired of it. Am I overreacting?

Why presume she wants the first date to progress to sex and in what world is a comment about protein making you strong flirting or lining someone up to make a bad joke about lifting someone into bed?

Yes, in real life I get enough attention, online absolutely ZERO

Someone has already said it but join burned haystacks dating method on FB, this would have weeded out this nonsense and saved you going on the date to find out he's all about sex (or will be for the next three dates then do a runner).

It's a jungle out there and you need a guide!

You should havd just deleted him. He's already stepped over your boundary.
Imagine clicking with a guy in real life and then having a nice date, really respectful etc.
Any man who would dare text such a message to a stranger, is disgusting. Do not reply,do not meet him, do not engage.

Sadly men with low intelligence will hide behind their screens to push it with women, he's probably a porn addict as well.

Are you sure you want to waste you're time ?

And it’s extremely immature

I'm not 'Blaming' the OP. I suggested it would be better not to post flirty coments before you've even met. It can give misleading signals. I also said his response would make me run. I stand by this.

Unfortunately most men think it’s a way to win you over, Ive sacked off so many, one made a reference to spooning me, while not crude, it’s just so cringe worthy, it was a deal breaker and I cancelled the date, others asking for photos on demand like I’m a performing seal, again I would cancel the date if at any point I started to feel uncomfortable or pressured.

When I read your OP I thought, cancel the date and block block block. Then I saw your update. 200% block!

Think you did the right thing by you because you followed your gut, but I would suggest setting your stall out early doors next time. So when you first start chatting to a guy online, that’s when you can say what you are looking for and that sex talk too early on, especially before you have even met, is off putting for you. Some guys will be put off by that but those aren’t the guys you are looking for.

Well done for having actual standards OP and nipping it in the bud.

oh yuck! i hate this

Unless you met on an app and had 'short term/casual' or 'open to short term' listed as preferences it is VERY presumptuous of him to make these remarks and says everything about his character. Glad you ended it with him, well done. One more loser dodged!

Having now seen the fuller texts, his response was. yuk, but the OP's original texts are really odd too.

I would say it was a 'jokey' comment and nothing more.

If this is the only concern, go on the date and decide from there.

Trust your instinct.

The ‘lift you in bed’ was eww.

The ‘calm down’ was double eww.

Man’s got no class.

Blocking was ridiculous.

I personally wouldn't do this, I would rather see what they think is appropriate to say early on!

OP did say that if he'd said something like 'misread the room there, my bad', that she would still have been open to meet.

But instead he displayed a huge red flags when he told her to calm down.

In this situation if she had previously told him she didn't want sex talk early on then she may well have met him and only found out much later that he was one of those kind of men who tell women to 'calm down'.

It was a very immature thing for him
to say as well as yuk. The fact that he didn’t even apologise, told you to calm down saying it was a joke (yeah that old chestnut🙄), and then block you tells you that you have definitely dodged a bullet there.

This. It's piss poor judgement/behaviour. Go with your gut.

"It will give me strength to lift you in bed."

"I'm not looking for a carer. Bye."

Seriously @Jtfrtj You'd be great at Burned Haystack method of dating. That was a classic "test and apologise". Strict Burned Haystack you wouldn't have tried to tell him where he went wrong, just cancelled and blocked without any explanation or justification. If you haven't come across it yet, you should look it up because you'd be absolutely bad ass at it. And I'm impressed that you're not prepared to take anyone on here telling you that you read this situation wrong either! 💪🏻

I think you will find it very difficult to date online of you assume people are going to avoid flirting and chatting sex. You remark about "making him strong" could have easily been misread, too. Ultimately, I assume you are going to have sex with someone you like, so why pretend it is completely off the cards? You could have said something along the lines of "well we will see about that, you need to earn the right first" type of thing and give this guy at least a chance to see him in real life.

This is just my opinion though and you can do whatever you definitely dont do stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable. But you need to prepare yourself for much much worse if you are doing OD - so you don't faint if someone sends you a dick pic.

Ha! Yes, definitely. It was "test and apologise" without the actual apologise bit. That's next level arrogance!

All of this sounds like so much hard work.
Admittedly I'm single and haven't dated for decades and internet dating didn't even exist when i was in my 20's.

My very brief experience of online dating many moons ago put me off for life but still seems like it was easier than it is now.

I'm glad I have no interest in dating anyone now but I feel for those who need a man/woman and have to go though all this nonsense.

I'm just surprised any woman would be surprised that telling a man she will 'make him pancakes that will make him strong', won't make him think she might be talking about breakfast 'the morning after the date' and make him strong in the sexual department.

That's where many mens minds would go to.

I'm more suprised that anyone is surprised by his response to OP

I don't understand the 'lifting in bed' comment from him. I've never been lifted in bed: have I been doing it wrong?