I have a first date in a few hours, now he’s texted me something that’s put me off

[Jtfrtj]

I have a first date tonight with a man I’ve never met, we started talking online. He knows I’m very into cooking/baking, and just now while texting him I told him I made some protein pancakes. He asked if he could have some, I joked back that I would make him some, and because they’re protein pancakes they will make him strong. He replied “Strong so I can lift you in bed yeah 😏?”. I’ve never even met this man before. Now I feel that expectation and pressure for sex is there now and feel less excited about meeting him. It also feels very presumptuous of him, like he thinks because I’ve agreed to a date I’m up for sexual activity. I’ve not texted back yet because I’m not sure I want to go now.

For context; I have never made any sexual remarks towards him before or him to me, we have been talking for almost two weeks. I am conventionally attractive but I am not provocative in how I dress or how I present myself online. Most of my photos online are of my travel pictures, scenery and food etc. I don’t think I do anything to invite these remarks or give off the impression that I’d be into that so prematurely, but for some reason men will always try and initiate a conversation about sex before the first date. I’m getting tired of it. Am I overreacting?

Yes I think this is the best advice on here to be honest. I agree that texting can cause a lot of miscommunication, I don’t like texting so long for this reason. But we were both busy previously so 🤷‍♀️ Also agree that daytime sets less of a tone for sex too. I’ll bear that in mind.

Thank you x

Haha I’m autistic so taking things literally is my speciality! 😂 Just to be clear, I agree you made the right call cancelling the date and wish you luck with the next person you go on a date with. I am not judging you negatively based on what you said to him whatsoever. I just personally would have been confused by the protein pancakes comment and wouldn’t have known what to say in return!

Bruvs got no game.

Tell him pancakes are off the menu and certainly he ain't getting no muffin.

weak.

Your pancake flirting was weird tbh, i would never say to a random man ive never met before that I'll cook him pancakes to make him strong. A bit cringe

❤️, but hate bananas…of any description 😂
glad you avoided this ‘date’ 💐

Can you read? I said I was making pancakes and he asked if he could have some. I joked back.

🤣😂🤣

So no apology then…

OP, any chance you could share your pancake recipe?

Have a look at the Burned Haystack dating method, it's really good at explaining why situations like this are an instant block.

If you ever had a shred of doubt, he got rid of it by blocking, lol.

Anyway, obviously you are way out of his league, nice one for rooting out the crap ones before wasting your time!

Her joke was a tad cringe TBH, but responding with unsolicited sexual innuendo is much more cringe.

You’ve had a very lucky escape there OP imv!

out if interest how cam you tell you’re blocked?

Jeez OP, you had a lucky escape. Anyone who discusses sex on the first date ( or even before), would give me the ick. I suspect you would have left after 20 mins..🙄

Mostly uncool men than the cool girls on here...all butt hurt. 🤣

How dare you not respond with a "I can't wait for you to lift me in bed" 😂🤣😀

What does the fact you think you’re physically attractive have to do with it?

Ah I see, words on text can easily be taken the wrong way. I actually hate texting for this very reason, if we were texting so much we would have made it to the first date, but this is the generation we’re living in!

I just personally would have been confused by the protein pancakes comment and wouldn’t have known what to say in return!

Well at least now you know not to reply “so I can lift you in bed” 😂😂

Just to be clear, I agree you made the right call cancelling the date and wish you luck with the next person you go on a date with

Thank you

OP you've had some vile comments on here. His comment wasn't just suggestive it was inappropriate. You've not even met! The "calm down" response solidified what your gut was telling you. As women we don't need to settle for this type of shit. Good luck in the dating game. I'm single by choice because of all this nonsense!

This is worse than the round table on The Traitors for people over analysing and misinterpreting everything.

The point I was trying to make was that while I’m use to a certain amount of attention I don’t in my opinion sexualise myself, or portray myself as someone who like to attract sexual attention from the opposite sex, so it bewilders me as to why men always feel so comfortable to bring up sex prior to the first date. I thought I made that quite clear. I take it you have an opinion of me acknowledging that I fit the beauty norms in society, yes? Interesting that’s all you took from the entire post, it’s not a crime to know you’re attractive.

It’s a circus out there isn’t it. I wonder if men ever stop to realise that they’d get more sex if they knew when to keep their mouths shut 🙄

OP look into the Burned Haystack Method. Theres a FB group for it, it is very very eye opening and helpful in cutting out men like this before they waste your time.

I feel sorry for single ladies today.
I met and married my husband before the internet, so it was all done by sight , smell, movement...not words.
I honestly dont think I would have bothered with online dating. It sounds (from what I hear and especially what I read on here) too much like a minefield of disasters.😖

Well done OP. What an idiot. Some men are gross 🤮

lucky escape.