Women are the cause of Christmas being stressful....

[Thisusernameisalwaysavailable]

Women are to blame for making Christmas a stressful and expensive holiday.

It's women* who are doing all the planning, booking of trips to father Christmas, managing and booking expensive UK Lapland trips/visits to activity farm, booking light trails, making sure the elf delivers a North Pole Breakfast, sorting Christmas Eve boxes trips to the panto/nutcracker, sorting parties, making sure kids Nativity costumes done, doing the stupid elf in the shelf, writing letters etc

All rushing, trying to make everything perfect and everything a "memory"... And then complain it's all too much, toj stressful, too expensive

Nobody is holding a gun to their head.

We all know the kids would be perfectly happy with a few presents on the morning and able to eat chocolate for breakfast.

Nobody will stop loving you because you couldn't be fucking bothered to make bread sauce from scratch using homemade organic breadcrumbs.
If you didn't bother making a starter, who cares?

Nobody would care if the stupid Elf never arrived.

Live by this mantra "Those who matter, don't mind. those who mind, don't matter"

It's stressful because YOU make it stressful.
Just embrace your Inner Man** and stop making the effort.

*Not all women, my husband dies yada yada yada
** Not all men...blah blah blah

Well, I don’t think anyone is paying for the stamp to the North Pole.

We usually have 10 or 12 for Christmas dinner, DH and I both shop for it and cook and DSS and her boyfriend will help cook. It’s not that stressful. I like it and we sometimes have guests staying over too.

we have a tradition of a Christmas Eve walk with friends that ends up in a nice pub.

Boxing Day is chilling out and dog walking.

it helps that kids all grown up and are happy with money as presents and no one else is that fussed by presents.

then tell him to stop moaning.

I don't do a turkey etc, rib of beef, leg of lamb or a nice chicken when they were young with roasted bits.
I don't like turkey, never have.
I do just enough for dinner as leftovers give me the ick.
Even though leftovers in sandwiches late at night were divine.
From bread sauce, chutneys, stuffing, cranberry sauce, goose, ham and a roast of pork, my late mother and grandmother put on the most incredible lunch, 4 courses and a pudding trolley.
I don't do even a fraction of this.
Nor would I want to.
Around me people are now taking shortcuts andvtheir families don't care.

im afraid I agree -it goes along with the same theme as kids who can never not have a calendar stuffed full of activities, every school holiday going somewhere, memory making, I blame a lot of the women’s magazines too, full of homes that have had stylists and cleaners in etc and pages on pages of amazing home made food that you need a lot of time and often money for - I used to go along with all this- the minute my son hit secondary i stopped it and spent half the amount and had just as nice a time -we now go away every new year instead and pay for my adult son instead as he can’t really afford much in the way of holidays

This post has the same energy as claims that women should do all the housework because they are the one who cares whether the house is tidy!

The reality is that woman are disproportionately judged without society for markers like tidy homes, and subject to harsh social penalities when society's narrative isn't achieved.

I think (not in all families but in enough) that women are largely more connected to their dc and will put themselves out to make their dc happy. No one wants their dc to be the one Santa didn't visit, who doesn't have lovely decorations or get to do the fun things their friends do. Yes, maybe some men are happy to take it easy and let the dc experience that, but I don't think that's a good thing.

I also think that a lot of the stress is actually women predicting future problems and fixing them (are there enough batteries for the toys that have been bought, is there something at dinner that all the family will eat), then because the disaster never comes, some people assume the work was worthless.

Personally I think Christmas would be much less stressful if men just pulled their fucking weight around the home, but for some reason this is seen as a total impossibility. Let's just blame women instead!

I don’t know anyone in real life who gets super stressed about Christmas. All the stress I see is in media and on here (and the odd family pushing a laden trolley around the supermarket with a grumpy dad in a Santa hat and an 8 year old crying his eyes out, but you can see that most weeks sans Santa hat and with less in the trolley).

But I also don’t know anyone who has a terrible relationship with in laws where no one knows how to be a guest in someone else’s home or be civil to people they don’t see eye to eye with. And that seems to be the source of a vast amount of Christmas stress.

I do agree with that too- because much as I think women are their own worst enemies at such times-part of it is because of other women and often men judging their style and competence- I can guarantee there’s always someone pointing out in someone else house ‘why isn’t there any xyz ? ‘

Don't judge everyone's husbands by your own standards. Mine is absolutely wonderful - buys thoughtful presents, organises events, cooks, cleans, decorates the house.

It’s never about the fucking stuffing.
Or when they say I’m not doing x anymore and they get told what a shitty mother/daughter/wife they are and that they absolutely must.

It's this - so many people feeling guilty triped into extra work and for what ever reason feeling unable to say no.

When you do say no - the world doesn't tend to end.

I was devil incarnate when we said no to IL expecting us to travel to them with young kids for chirstmas day- they then started coming weekend nearest and it's fine much less stress for us at least and kids got to spend christmas in their own beds.

Were none of these things available in the shops on the 27th? Is your dh incapable of learning through trial and error? I'm pretty sure that's how I learnt, I wasn't born knowing what should be in the Christmas shop.

Exactly! Shops are open on 27th so no need to buy massive mounts of food and have to play fridge Tetris.

Judging by this thread and your replies on a thread about childlessness with your thoughts on the only women needing IVF are the ones leaving it to late because they dare to want a career i'd say it's pretty clear we just have an old fashioned misogynist on our hands.

Pointing out biology isn't misogyny.
I didn't say only older women need IVF.

Nor is pointing out the truth that it's women that are the ones doing everything for Christmas 🤷

Didn't you see my asterisks?

Landfill. Greed. Stupidity.

Some people don't want their childhood abusers round at Christmas. Or the drunk relatives who get aggressive potentially starting up in front of the kids, or their narcissistic parent making jabs all day long etc

Not everyone has a perfect family. But here we are a ... Another woman putting pressure on other women to make everything perfect....

See how it's women making Christmas stressful....? Women implying that the other woman is somehow ruining the other person's Christmas because they're not prepared to host them. So they feel obliged/guilty/pressured into doing stuff they just don't want to!

You're right on a level, but I think the world would miss it if no one bothered. So thanks to all the people (mums) who do x.

I'm not saying noone should bother, just don't put pressure o yourselves to make everything "perfect". Embrace your Inner Man and lower your standards and everything is a lot easier!

Ye gods, what's a north pole breakfast? What's elf on a shelf, come to that? Have vaguely heard of the latter but never actually known...

@Thisusernameisalwaysavailable

I hear you, but not sure man levelled standards would be much cop wrt this🤔😁.

You say men should pull their weight. Of course they should.

But does there really need to be so much heavy lifting in the first place?

We have great and wonderful intentions. But,
do we need to take the kids to a light trail, a Grotto, take them to Christmas market the panto, have the family wearing matching PJs, get kids opening Christmas Eve boxes, planning and eating a special breakfast, perfectly wrapped presents, elaborate meals, spotless houses etc etc

My point is that none of the extras are necessary, kids and people are usually happy with a stocking, a few gits, chocolate and a meal with the family and friends they want around them .... The extras cause stress and expense, and hassle... And it's all being perpetuated by women, striving to make it magical, perfect, a wonderful memory. These women are being influenced by other women to do yet more things...

It isn't men on Instagram sharing tips for making Christmas day go smoothly, it isn't mens magazines giving advice on how to get ahead on Christmas dinner, it isn't men vlogging their family trip to Lapland.

Women can just stop doing all the extra stuff and the kids would still have a great Christmas film of fond memories and traditions.

North Pole Breakfast is a Christmas themed breakfast, usually on 1dt December.

Elf on the Shelf… come onnn! Haven’t you seen the stupid little elves in the Christmas section? It’s based on a children’s book published in America in 2005, where a toy elf appears in your house and gets up to mischief every night. It started as a family tradition, but was deliberately turned into a commercial product, sold as a book-and-toy set. So yet another (manufactured) Christmas tradition that’s been embraced and perpetuated by women, adding yet more expense, pressure and nightly jobs to an already stressful time of year. And honestly, just look at Instagram for Elf ideas... how many men do you see creating and sharing elaborate setups? It’s another example of how women can end up creating extra work for themselves, then feeling obliged to keep it up every Christmas!

Elf on the shelf is for when Santa isn't sure whether a child as been good enough and needs a second opinion. The Elf comes to check up on the child with questionable behaviour and report back to Santa.

Huh. In my day we just put out a mince pie for Santa and a carrot for the reindeer. (At four I knew the tooth marks in the carrot in the morning were human. I think that was my father's sole contribution to the whole magical Christmas memories deal....)