AIBU to hate Christmas?

[AylesBuck]

That's it. I've reached the point where I just can't bear the thought of Christmas anymore. We're only in October and I'm already stressing about hosting, logistics, shopping, cooking, the lot.
I've been saying for years that I don't want to do it anymore. All our family lives overseas, so Christmas always means either travelling to them or having them come to us. Mostly they come to us. Either way, it all falls on me, and I'm done.
So this year I've told the family I'm not hosting and I'm not travelling either.
Not sure if it's perimenopause, middle age or just years of Christmas fatigue, but I can't stand the whole thing anymore. The endless consumption, buying stuff, eating too much, travelling, organising everything. I just don't get it anymore, especially when it's making me miserable.
I can't stand buying stuff for the sake of stuff. I can't eat anything more than a carrot now without getting indigestion. I can't bear the thought of being stuck in a house full of people for days on end. Just thinking about it makes me feel claustrophobic.
It just doesn't work for me anymore. I don't want presents, elaborate meals, guests or a packed schedule. I just want a few days to chill, do absolutely nothing and not feel under pressure to make Christmas magical for everyone else.
AIBU? Has anyone else reached this point, or am I turning into the Grinch?

I love Christmas but it's just me, DH and the dog, we see familyat some point over the xmas period but the day itself is very chilled!. Your version of Christmas sounds like hell to me, dont blame you for turning grinch 😉

YANBU I am getting waves of revulsion for the whole commercial, tatty, forcedness of it already.
If you focus on the sense of renewal and hope of the Christmas message then all well and good.
If you follow the horrible shops/TV version of the 'season' then yuk, yuk, yuk. It's dreadful.
So my answer is, do your own version of relaxing and resting, whatever that is.

You will hate Christmas if you don’t do it how you want to.

Nope, I’ve been saying for years that we should make Christmas less often. Every bloody year is too much.

Christmas should be every 4 years, like the Olympics. It’s far too often in my grumpy opinion.

Think you should plan a holiday & come back when it’s all over.

Good for you for saying it!
What was their reaction?

Christmas is a lovely time but sadly marred hideous consumerism. It’s a shame and you are not BU

I love Christmas but we’ve simplified it over the years and it’s pretty much perfection now.

YANBU to hate it though. Obligation and packed schedules and a season full of tasks that you don’t need or want will do that to you.

I agree, I find the whole thing so pointless, not helped by feeling obliged to host every year. Would love to go away or just stay home with my husband and child but can't bear the guilt if we don't have parents come over.

I feel the same way, agree with everything you’ve said here. I used to enjoy it. We always just had a small family Christmas. Everything is just so in your face now, with the shops. I also hate that DS is already aware, meaning the festive season is no longer special.

I mostly see it as I get nearly 3 weeks off work(lucky me I know most people don’t get this) we usually go away on holiday or just do some chill things at home the 4 of us

knocked the big extended family Xmas on the head years ago

we don’t cook a big meal or anything either - we usually just have curry or a lasagna or something that wel all eat and just chill

don’t buy loads either - the kids don’t even ask for much tbh as we always managed expectations

Good on you! You should do Christmas your way. I can't stand all the 'forced' fun. I just love being at home with my little family, eating and drinking what we want and not going into debt for one day. Some people love big christmas' and that's cool too. But not for me either 😊

YANBU. I love Christmas myself, but even I get stressed out and a bit overwhelmed sometimes and I don't have the added pressure of hosting and cooking.

@AylesBuck
Im with you!

For years I hosted until I just hated every moment of it.

Dd got married and took over the hosting, great, thats all stopped now for the wider family.

I hate wasting money on presents no-one wants/needs, I ask everyone what they want and get back a "dunno" or " I don't really need anything"

DP and I would love a chilled Xmas, in front of the tv with picky bits (hate that term but can't come up with another) 😆

Dd gives birth to 2nd dgc early Dec so we'll spend it at hers but we're thinking of having a buffet, basically opening packets no cooking!

The only person making Christmas stressful is you. And more widely, women.

We want to make it "magical", we want everyone to love their gifts, have the house perfect, host 5 different meals etc.

But the kids are happy with a few presents, and chocolate for breakfast.

They wouldn't give shit if they never visited FC, went to an expensive themed grotto, went on a light trail, had a perfect night pole breakfast delivered by elves etc..

They want a cheap chocolate advent calendar, go to bed excited, wake up early and rip open presents and eat chocolate for breakfast and then just play with their new toys.

So, embrace your inner Man and stop giving a shit, do the bare minimum, get a takeaway and enjoy it.

Book yourself a spa day away - stay over. Come back on the 27th. Leave them to it - the people who want to celebrate should and the people who don’t shouldn’t have to.

Make a long list of things you do.

Mark off the things you enjoy doing, things you want to do, and things you want but in a reduced form.

Look at ways of eliminating the rest. For example, compose a message or have a chat with whoever you swap meaningless gifts with and suggest stopping. Say you have 10 people and you are thinking of the environment and needlessness and "let's just swap Christmas wishes without buying a gift".

Look at your guest list, suggest a small family Christmas "for a change", you don't have to host because that's what you always do. Make a change.

Tone the whole Christmas thing down but still wear the Christmas jumper, have Christmas music on, enjoy decorating your house all through December. You will look forward to it rather than dread it.

Don't have 3 types of potatoes and 2 types of stuffing and 3 desserts for Christmas dinner. It's a meat and veg dinner, reduce the options! It will still be lovely and much more stress free.

Get rid of the mental load, make a change and treat Christmas as a few days of rest, relaxation, celebration rather than a bonkers and stressful day.

100% Agreed. I could have written this word for word. The over consumption and expectation around one day is bullshit. Like you I am not spending my rare time off travelling overseas again. Being stuck in a house for too long with family like a pressure cooker and spending money I don't have as single parent buying shit no one needs. If you are a practicing Christian who wants to celebrate the birth of Jesus then fair enough - but that message seems to have disappeared in the materialism of it all.

Totally agree with you. I feel the same. I never used to be like this. I'm not sure whether it's menopause or just Christmas fatigue either. One of my friends always holidays abroad at Christmas. She has no children and her elderly mum goes to family so she feels no obligation. I used to wonder why people did that. Now I would love to do the same. The trick is to keep it quite small and not feel obligated to host too many people.

We have friends who are spending a minimum of £500 just to go to the UK Lapland.
That's without travel and anything else...and just for one half day...
It's absolutely insane.

This sounds lovely (especially the three weeks!). I think we’ll dial things down here as well. I don’t love Christmas food, either! We’re lucky we don’t have to conform to family.

Me. I loathe it!

I dream of a week in the Caribbean instead.

I'll be buying a lottery ticket later.

I hate it too. It's usually horrible weather so you can't go out and do much. To me it's just another day (I don't have young children). So much commercialism now.

Yanbu I don’t even put up a tree, no kids and dh isn’t bothered. We go out with family for a pre Christmas lunch sometime in Dec then we all carry on as normal none of the pressure or photos of a bulging fridge just a calm relaxed Christmas. We all love it this way now.

I have a scaled back Christmas, it’s just my three adult DC, myself and my DH at home on Christmas Day.
I make an easy M&S Christmas lunch, we see relatives the day after Boxing Day for a walk instead of either of us hosting.
I pick up the M&S food combined with a visit to my DM who is in a nursing home on Christmas Eve.
I book one family activity such as a light show in the week leading up to Christmas.
I normally go to one party and a couple of dinners in December with different people which I enjoy and the pantomime with my husband on Boxing Day.

Around 27 years ago I decided to only buy for my DH, DC and parents.