Family unhappy to go to a vegan restaurant for my birthday

[HideTheDog]

It’s my birthday soon and I chose a vegan restaurant to eat at. It was only for me, my husband and children and they were all happy with the restaurant. It was booked weeks ago for 4.

Last weekend some of our family asked if they can join us for the meal so I asked for who wanted to come and increased the number of people on the booking. They knew it was a vegan restaurant.

Today I got a message from one of them to say that now there are more people and some don’t want to eat at a vegan restaurant, they think we should eat at another restaurant which serves non vegan food as well. I messaged back to say no and that I chose it because I like it and if anyone doesn’t want to come then to let me know so I can amend the booking again.

This person has obviously told the others and I’ve been invited into a WhatsApp group chat to discuss what we should do. 🤨 I’ve ignored joining their group chat and just sent another message saying it’s for my birthday and I picked the restaurant that suited the ones going originally, I won’t be changing the restaurant and if they want to go somewhere else they can. I’ve said I’m happy to go to another restaurant with them another time.

I’ve been told I’m inflexible and only thinking of my own needs. Is it really inflexible to want to go to a restaurant I choose on my birthday that was originally chosen and booked weeks ago for just the 4 of us? I don’t mind them coming, but I feel that they’ve tagged along and now want to change it to suit them.

So they have invited themselves along and now want you to change the venue to suit them ? Cheeky fuckers! the only reasonable reply is Fuck off.

Vegan food can be bloody amazing - but in some non vegan restaurants it can be awful so good for you for sticking to your plan! Honestly what are they expecting - lettuce and chickpeas on a plate?
Now I am craving a visit to my favourite - Shrub in Chester

@HideTheDog I’m neither vegan nor veggie but I’m more than happy to eat at such a restaurant. My friend is vegan and there are so many good options these days - why can’t they try it?

@HideTheDog - how dare you think of your own needs on your own birthday!

Madness - you have every right to have your birthday dinner at the place that will make you happiest.

Crikey op your family are wankers!!! You do your night. I’d uninvite them anyway for being such arseholes. How dare they suggest that you do anything other than please yourself on your birthday?! Some people are genuinely just weird.

I bet no matter what the outcome, your twat relatives will somehow manage to twist this into 'HideTheDog making this all about herself' and 'typical awkward vegans'. I didn't believe that there were still people like this in 2026, but here we are. Do not be browbeaten into changing the venue! CFs.

Stick to your guns. TABVU.
If they don't like your choice, they can all piss off somewhere else together while the 4 of you have your lovely meal.
Happy birthday!!!!!

@HideTheDog I am always confused by people who say they won't eat vegan or vegetarian food.

I eat meat, but I also eat vegetables and a bunch of other stuff.

Going to a restaurant that doesn't serve animal products doesn't mean I have to eat something different from what I'm used to. It just means that I will be eating the same stuff that I'm used to, just without meat.

That's the bit I don't understand - why meat eaters have an issue with vegan or vegetarian food when we all eat vegetables anyway... ...

She did not even invite them 😂 they literally invited themselves and then start throwing a strop about the restaurant.

I honestly don't get why people must eat animal products at every meal, and I say this as an omnivore.

Your response was perfect. I mean it wouldn't be my first choice, but it's your birthday and I'd never even think of trying to get you to change it. How rude of them. I hope you have a lovely day and meal.

Even if it wasn’t your birthday you planned a meal out and some family invited themselves and then tried to change the venue! Leave them to plan and enjoy your meal.

I was going to come on here and say you were being unreasonable. But no. You're not. Stick to your guns. Your birthday, you'd sorted it and they wanted to tag along...their problem

Are you speaking from personal experience? Because that sounds bloody awful! 😱

Its a thing that a certain kind of woman person does. They are usually the kind of woman who wants to be the Queen Bee as they are insecure, so they befriend the person that they see as the dominant person in a friend group and oust her.

Happens a lot, because an awful lot of women are so desperately insecure.

You get to choose if they don’t like it then don’t come simples !

I'd be tempted to join the WhatsApp group to post one message saying "Look, you invited yourselves to my birthday do which I arranged with my family weeks ago. Nobody forced you to. I'm perfectly happy to come out with you all to another restaurant another day, but I'm not changing my birthday plans. So if you don't want to come, please say so now so I can change the booking, and I am not going to discuss it further." And then leave the WA group.

" thanks everyone but im really looking forward to that restaurant for my birthday treat so I'm going to stick with it. Let's plan something else for another time/mums birthday/fathers day/[insert suitable occasion]."

Tbh im 50-50 on this one.

I associate vegan food especially as being basically cheap & often starchy, bland or low calorie. It regularly leaves me farting for hours. For this reason its hard to see it as a treat, for a special meal i like the food to be rich and flavorful (but not spicy) and vegan food does not hit the spot for me. I tried going to a v posh vegan restaurant for a pricey tasting menu to see if that could reposition it for me.... it was nice but over relied on truffle & was nowhere near as good as broader menus elsewhere.

But for a friends birthday or whatever id go where they chose!

Ah we'd rib you but we'd still go!

@HideTheDog

<join WhatsApp group>

”On further reflection, I’ve decided to spend my birthday meal with DH and DC as originally planned. We can catch up another time.”

<leave WhatsApp group>

Job done.

This. It's a bit bizarre that the wider family are being so pushy about changing OP's birthday plans to suit them.

I've just checked out the menu for Corarima thanks to the PP.

OMG!!!!!! I feel such longing! It looks incredible.

God yes, that is so true. The vegan options tend to be a chickpea curry or a vegetable soup (with an occasional segue into a dairy free risotto).

That's why eating at restaurants that have a strong vegetarian culture bring so much joy. As pps have pointed out... the vegetarian or vegan in your circle has usually had to grit their teeth and inwardly sigh when eating out with 'meat-eaters'. it's nice to be able to actually HAVE a genuine option on occasion.